NIKKI22 Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 In 1990 I was engaged to be married, after two years of being engaged we called off the wedding. Seven months ago we ran into each other. Everything was good, we started seeing each other on a daily basis. We talked about the future but I was a little unsure about the situation because he had been separated for sometime and his divorce was not yet final. All those memories and feelings were still within. I have two children and he has one. Our kids got along very well but I did not like his son, well I did but I didn't like how he treated his son(he treated a five y/o like a newborn and I couldn't grasp that) Holding the child in his arms until he fell asleep, I mean he would literally wipe this child's butt and when I said something he would be like, "he's just five", and I would say, "five but approaching six". One night I was asked to take his son to school the next morning and I refused to do it because his son was to return home on Sunday nights. I told him to let his sons mother do her job. He did not take him home on Sunday night because his son said he was not ready to go home. That morning he left and I have not heard from him, its been about three or four weeks and no phone call, nothing. My question, was I wrong? My friends say that I'm not but I would like to get an opinion from someone who's not my friend.
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 If things were to work out between you two, then you not liking his son or how he IS with his son is obviously the main issue here. What he does/doesn't do with his ex, the child's mom really isn't your business. He asked a favour, for you to take his child to school and no because more or less it wasn't your job, it was his ex's. How the heck did you expect to build a possible future with him by not blending in abit? I'm sure the divorce wasn't easy on his son, and that's probably why he is attached and baby's him too much. Him not calling you anymore kind of means that he is putting his child first. And sadly, that probably means you not in his life because you may not be ready to handle how things are in his life right now. I don't know, is he worth fighting for? Can you see yourself being with forever? Just be prepared to be a stepmom to his son, and for you to accept all that goes along with it, meaning his ex will always be a part of your lives.
Author NIKKI22 Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 I don't have a problem being a stepmom, and I should'nt have said I did'nt like his son, because I love children I just didnt like how he treated him. I guess at that time I felt that he should have taken him home. I have two kids and both of them go to school at different times and I am late everyday for work becuase there is no bus transportation to their school. So, on the other hand I thought he should have been a little more considerate towards my situation and not asked this of me when he knew/know how hectic my mornings are. I really don't know if he's worth fighting for. I do love him! I want to call him so bad but I feel that he's upset because I did'nt do that one thing and if that is all it takes to stop communicating with me then he's not who I thought he was.
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 A miscommunication then. So call him and just see what he thinks and what he's feeling. You shouldn't leave it hanging in the air, and neither should he. You both are adults, have kids and have a history of some kind together, so out of respect for that, you two need to talk and just settle it. Good or bad, atleast you will know and be able to move on with or without him.
Author NIKKI22 Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 Thanks for the reply, I'm new to the forum and really needed another opinion. Thanks again.
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