Calslady Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Hi everyone this is my first time writing. My situation is this. I found out that my husband wants a divorse by a real estate lady. I was very shocked. We have been married 4 years. Our aniversairy was Nov 22, he didn't get me anything. So I confort him and ask him about it, he told me that he was thinking about it. Then in turm I told him that I didn't think that was fair to me or my children, which are not his. So, we have been going around and around in circles. Until he makes up his mind if he wants a divorse. I do have to say that I am a moody woman, but which woman isn't. lol But I have also had alot to happen to me i my past. I explain that to my husband before we even got married and he said he could handle my mood swings. But now he tells me that he can't. We don't have sex anymore and when we do it is atleast once a month and it is over with within 2 mins. I have noticed a big change in my husband. Well today we decided that we were going to get a divorse, but he tells me that me and my children have to move out. The house is in both of our name, so here is my problem, does he have the right to make me move out, seeing how I have three children and he has none?
Gunny376 Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 You didn't post enough information? Is the house solely in his name? Is your name on the papers? While laws vary from state to state, the only way he can "force" you to move is if he goes to court and gets eviction papers drawn up on you and the kids ~ now that would make him real popular with the court ~ now wouldn't it?
lasan Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 No he can't. Not yet anyway. The first thing they taught us in school is if you are getting divorced, do not vacate the marital home. (Unless there is a dangerous situation, at that point the police need to be called.)
LakesideDream Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 BTW divorse = divorce. As for the house. That's a different situation. The law does not legally consider your childrens interests in the matter. However the courts may allow you to stay temporarily because you have minor children. If you contributed to the household, you will be do a share of the proceeds from the house. If he moves out, you will be expected to pay all the household bills on your own, excepting property taxes which you will share. This seems fair as you and your three children from a previous relationship(s) benifit from the shelter. If you live in a no fault divorse (divorce) state, your "moodyness" and the problems you experianced in the past (pre current husband) are moot. Sounds like your husband bit off more than he could handle. A "moody" woman, with an unpleasant history, and three children to boot. Gotta give him an "A" for effort, if not for result.
lasan Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 BTW divorse = divorce If he moves out, you will be expected to pay all the household bills on your own, excepting property taxes which you will share. This seems fair as you and your three children from a previous relationship(s) benifit from the shelter. In my state both sides are expected to pay half of this until an agreement is reached. (Refinancing in one spouses name, selling the house,whatever)
lasan Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 In my state both sides are expected to pay half of this until an agreement is reached. (Refinancing in one spouses name, selling the house,whatever) Sigh and after re-reading the previous post, I should add that that means half a mortgage payment.
Author Calslady Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 You didn't post enough information? Is the house solely in his name? Is your name on the papers? While laws vary from state to state, the only way he can "force" you to move is if he goes to court and gets eviction papers drawn up on you and the kids ~ now that would make him real popular with the court ~ now wouldn't it? Yes everything we have is in both names, even the deed. Just not the loan. That is in his name.
TYASAFAHICSI Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 The law does not legally consider your childrens interests in the matter. Most courts will rule based solely on the merits it brings to the good and welfare of minor children. If she was not on the deed, it is a different story. As it is right now--pending any undisclosed stuff that will change it--you are entitled to some of the value of the house. Probably half depending on your state. Wether you keep it or it is sold is up to how well you two work out the agreement. The court will look for the benefit of the kids and I am guessing they will rule that hubby should move to maintain consistency for the children and that you stay in the house till all is settled. During this time, you may be awarded temporary alimony to help with the expenses from hubby. He does not have a right to force you out. If you are on the deed, you are entitled to reside in the house. Just make sure the payments are current, because the mortgage company can evict you--not without a court hearing and all but they can. And as for your hubby--if he was dumb enough to allow you on the deed, but not refinance the loan in BOTH names, he probably deserves to get kicked out!
Antha Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 In my state (Michigan), it is no-fault. There is a thing in Michigan called Established Residency. My sister could not kick her husband out of the house (nor LEGALLY change the locks on him) even though his name wasn't on ANYTHING in the house. My sister's name was on the phone, the lease, everything...but she still couldn't kick him out because he had lived there long enough for that to have been his 'established residence'. The non-emergency police told her that if she changed the locks and he broke a window to get in, SHE would have to pay for that broken window and that it WOULD NOT be breaking and entering on his part because he had established residency there...even though his name didn't appear on anything whatsoever. Antha
Guest Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 I would hate to leave there. I though I had it tuff. I found out that if the woman has children than child would get the house but have to pay the husband his share of interest. thank you for your reply.Did your sister ever get rid of the man?
FlyingHigh Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Calslady, Start getting your ducks in order. 1. However moody you are, DO NOT vacate the marital property. 2. Make copies of the home's deed and most recent of the following documents: Husband's W-2, home loan and bank/credit card statements, joint tax returns.Husband's current paystub. This will show any undisclosed deductions to his 401K, pension/retirement plan, car allowance and bonus which will ALL be considered in calculating spousal and child support regardless the children are not his. My stbx understated his bonus and car allowance by half. He doesn't know I have a copy of his paystub before he was escorted by police.3. Call a local paralegal and get the basic knowledge. Paralegal offices usually have attorneys on staff. Usually not recommended if you have children and financial assets. Unless you and your Husband have come to a "written agreement" via Marital Settlement Agreement, all they would have to do is transfer everything on a legal format to be filed and recorded. 4. If you live in a "fault state", you'll fare much better, financially. But start researching for a good attorney who is familiar with how presiding judges rule in each courthouse if there is more than one courthouse in the County you live. It can make a HUGE difference on how you come out in the end. My attorney knows each of the judges in our county and how they preside in divorce cases. My stbx's attorney filed outside of the city we reside and my attorney was very surprised because the judges sway more in favor of the spouse seeking support. 5. When interviewing attorneys, ASK how long they've been practicing FAMILY LAW. Talk to them in person. Their office (location and appearance) will give you a pretty good idea on what kind of clients they represent and take NOTE of their credentials on their walls. When I went to see mine after retaining her over the phone (referred to her by my GF's current divorce atty. (who are friends but they are opposing each other in a litigation) I noticed she served as district attorney for the city we live. You can't get any better than this because this means they are experienced with hard core trials. My attorney's office is in a downtown high rent district area which I later found out from a friend who grew up here all his life that attorneys in that area have exclusive clients with money. I don't. I consider it a blessing. I was even more blessed that she waived the minimum retainer's fee of $5000 and I became her first client to pay as I go simply because I was referred to her by her attorney friend/co-counsel. Average retainer's fee is between $2500-3000 at $250-300/hr. Go with your gut feeling when retaining one. Then after retaining her at $400/hr. I googled her name and sure enough, she was one of the well known lawyers in a divorce case involving a major high tech firm. Your "moodiness" won't be a factor in court unless your husband's attorney turn it into one and make himself as the "victim". If you claim that your moodiness has been a factor in this marriage, you may want to figure out why and what's causing you to be moody. If hormonal, get checked up by your doc. But, consider it seriously because if you don't, you will likely cause the next guy to bail out on you. Would you want to live with a guy who is moody? Just a thought.....good luck.
Antha Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 She did...after he took everything of value from her home. He only left the bedroom set because he couldn't transport it (it was too big and heavy). Even now, he could still walk in as though he lived there. THey will be divorced this February. Do you know if your state is fault or no-fault? Antha
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