Rooster_DAR Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 For people who have lost their LTR. Anybody have that sh**ty feeling that you are doomed to lonliness forever? I just got back from my company Xmas party, and as much as I put on a front of being a happy single guy, I am terribly miserable inside. Now that my 5 year relationship is over, I feel like I've been cast out into a dark empty world and I am wondering around like a lone spirit who's life was cut short. Perhaps I drank a little more than I should tonight, but I feel so damn isolated. I cannot believe I lost her to an affair, it's so damn painful. I was so accustomed to being with my ex for so long, I don't even know how to be single or even connect with anyone else. The last thing I need is for someone to know what I'm going through and feel sorry for me, sympathy is even more embarassing. Eveyone I know and work with are married on in LTR's, so it's hard to find someone to do anything with. I have been pretty good about getting comfortable with myself, and doing everything on my own. I guess it's just when the holidays come around I am lost. Everyone at my Xmas party asked where my date was, it took some strength not to crack at that point. I just played it off like I was single and enjoying myself, but in the back of my mind all I saw was her there with me meeting everyone and celebrating the holidays together. Then next next few minutes where spent picturing her marrying and spending all of her time with the other guy. I feel so betrayed, I don't know if I can ever feel the kind of love I did for her with anyone ever again. I think I may become just like the other men out there that get burned so bad, and become a sh**ty person towards women. Okay, the damn alchohol is making me do this I know it, but maybe it justs brings out how I really feel, and that is just plain **cked. cheers!
westernxer Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 I won't be attending my company party this year. Hardly know any of those people to begin with.
alphamale Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 R_DAR...I feel for you. 'but it'll get better and you'll love again. just keep yourself busy and find others who are single to hang out with. i wish i could come down ther to TX and give you a big hug then down a case of beer between us. and then when we[re really smashed go for tex-mex
Author Rooster_DAR Posted December 2, 2006 Author Posted December 2, 2006 R_DAR...I feel for you. 'but it'll get better and you'll love again. just keep yourself busy and find others who are single to hang out with. i wish i could come down ther to TX and give you a big hug then down a case of beer between us. and then when we[re really smashed go for tex-mex LOL... I feel better already. You know when you get to drinking, it really FF**cks you up emotionally sometimes. I guess I could have taken the other route and took violence to her door, but not worth it, I'm better than that. Cya man
Guest Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 My fiance cheated on me and I left him but my heart breaks every day. I worry that he was my soul mate and I am doomed to be alone forever. I feel so sad and alone... I miss him so much. I really understand how you feel but I just know that we both deserve better... Good luck For people who have lost their LTR. Anybody have that sh**ty feeling that you are doomed to lonliness forever? I just got back from my company Xmas party, and as much as I put on a front of being a happy single guy, I am terribly miserable inside. Now that my 5 year relationship is over, I feel like I've been cast out into a dark empty world and I am wondering around like a lone spirit who's life was cut short. Perhaps I drank a little more than I should tonight, but I feel so damn isolated. I cannot believe I lost her to an affair, it's so damn painful. I was so accustomed to being with my ex for so long, I don't even know how to be single or even connect with anyone else. The last thing I need is for someone to know what I'm going through and feel sorry for me, sympathy is even more embarassing. Eveyone I know and work with are married on in LTR's, so it's hard to find someone to do anything with. I have been pretty good about getting comfortable with myself, and doing everything on my own. I guess it's just when the holidays come around I am lost. Everyone at my Xmas party asked where my date was, it took some strength not to crack at that point. I just played it off like I was single and enjoying myself, but in the back of my mind all I saw was her there with me meeting everyone and celebrating the holidays together. Then next next few minutes where spent picturing her marrying and spending all of her time with the other guy. I feel so betrayed, I don't know if I can ever feel the kind of love I did for her with anyone ever again. I think I may become just like the other men out there that get burned so bad, and become a sh**ty person towards women. Okay, the damn alchohol is making me do this I know it, but maybe it justs brings out how I really feel, and that is just plain **cked. cheers!
alphamale Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 You know when you get to drinking, it really FF**cks you up emotionally sometimes. It does....alcohol magnifies both you good and bad emotions. Sometimes when I drink I think about very bad things that I would never think of when sober. Just keep the drinking to a minimum if you can. dude...i'm hittin' 14,000 posts tonite.
Author Rooster_DAR Posted December 2, 2006 Author Posted December 2, 2006 It does....alcohol magnifies both you good and bad emotions. Sometimes when I drink I think about very bad things that I would never think of when sober. Just keep the drinking to a minimum if you can. dude...i'm hittin' 14,000 posts tonite. Holy chr*t! I didn't even notice it. Not bad at all buddy! BTW....did you posts a bunch of "dddccc" and "ddkkk" stuff on the "Women's Infedelity" forum? There was a poster by the nick of "Alpha" that went nuts on threads with this content. LOL
alphamale Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 BTW....did you posts a bunch of "dddccc" and "ddkkk" stuff on the "Women's Infedelity" forum? There was a poster by the nick of "Alpha" that went nuts on threads with this content. no that wasn't me...
Sup Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 For people who have lost their LTR. Anybody have that sh**ty feeling that you are doomed to lonliness forever? I just got back from my company Xmas party, and as much as I put on a front of being a happy single guy, I am terribly miserable inside. Now that my 5 year relationship is over, I feel like I've been cast out into a dark empty world and I am wondering around like a lone spirit who's life was cut short. Perhaps I drank a little more than I should tonight, but I feel so damn isolated. I cannot believe I lost her to an affair, it's so damn painful. I was so accustomed to being with my ex for so long, I don't even know how to be single or even connect with anyone else. The last thing I need is for someone to know what I'm going through and feel sorry for me, sympathy is even more embarassing. Eveyone I know and work with are married on in LTR's, so it's hard to find someone to do anything with. I have been pretty good about getting comfortable with myself, and doing everything on my own. I guess it's just when the holidays come around I am lost. Everyone at my Xmas party asked where my date was, it took some strength not to crack at that point. I just played it off like I was single and enjoying myself, but in the back of my mind all I saw was her there with me meeting everyone and celebrating the holidays together. Then next next few minutes where spent picturing her marrying and spending all of her time with the other guy. I feel so betrayed, I don't know if I can ever feel the kind of love I did for her with anyone ever again. I think I may become just like the other men out there that get burned so bad, and become a sh**ty person towards women. Okay, the damn alchohol is making me do this I know it, but maybe it justs brings out how I really feel, and that is just plain **cked. cheers! Better to be single than to live in a relationship with someone like that, let ALONE marriage! Better that you found out NOW, that her doing this when you two were married, she would've taken your shirt! By the way, if she will cheat with OM, she WILL cheat ON him!
freckles73 Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Rooster_Dar, I know exactly how you feel. The first holidays after a break-up are the most painful, indeed. I'm going through that right now as well. Just keep reminding yourself that out there somewhere is someone who is loving and sweet and will be good for you. But you aren't going to meet her unless you put yourself out there. Perhaps next time you're out and about...at a coffee shop or book store, and you see a sweet woman with kindness in her face, who is probably hiding the same pain that you are, go up to her and talk and see where it leads.
johan Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Hang in there, Rooster. All that stuff on that other thread was just pulling your chain. It's been about a year since my ex and I broke up. I've been through the cycles of elation and despair that I guess come with that. She and I were together for over three years. I loved her more than anyone I had ever loved before. It would be great if we could just feel good and positive all the time, like people looking in from the outside think we should. But that wouldn't be natural. The fact is this is the process you have to go through that forces you to learn from the loss and strengthens you for the next one. Just remember that, as you go through it: you're getting stronger. There will be a next time. I guarantee it. It will go like this: For a while you'll be pathetic and really hard on yourself. Seeing other happy couples, remembering your ex, thinking of her with someone else, thinking of time passing, worrying about your future, being alone and lonely etc. are all part of that. After you've done that for a while you'll get sick of it. You'll recognize the rut you're in or about to get in. You'll automatically start looking for more positive things to focus on. Losing hope occasionally is ok. Just fight through it. Or at least live through it. Don't let yourself get bitter toward women, or you'll double your problems.
D-Lish Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 I always have a great time when I'm slamming back the beers with my friends, it certainly does seem to take all my troubles away... Until the next day.... Then I get the crazy roller coaster ride that turns me inside out. I honestly feel "deeply depressed" the day after I drink too much. And, it has usually been those days when I have relapsed and contacted my ex with a sappy e-mail... Stupid alcohol, how can it be my best friend one moment and my worst enemy the next? lol.
Ssheena Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Sorry you were feeling so bad last night Roos. Drinking and posting is much better than drinking and calling her or banging on her door or (right Dee?) sending a sappy email. You just acknowledged your feelings and felt miserable and alone and doomed to a live of involuntary celibacy but, it's all part of the program. You gave it another go with your x and I'm guessing it didnt' work out (is she the one that had the car from her other guy in your garage?) so you have really done all you can. I get sick/icky poo when I look around at all the happy, loving couples but ya know.. a lot of them only look that way from the outside. A lot of them are unhappy and just staying with the person they are with because they are too scared to be on their own. It will all work out. And Mr. AlphaMale is 14,000 posts like hitting lvl 60 in Warcraft?
Author Rooster_DAR Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 Stupid alcohol, how can it be my best friend one moment and my worst enemy the next? lol LOL Exactly! I love to socially drink, but damn after a breakup it does seem to play the enemy role.
luvtoto Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Rooster_dear, my heart goes out to you, and what you are going through right now. I've been there. I still am there. At least you still have that strong desire to still want a special someone in your life. I, on the other hand, am getting sooo used to being alone, that I think I almost prefer the solitude...AND THAT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!! I don't want to live my life alone, am I crazy?! So, let me ask you this, is that pathetic or what?!
alphamale Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 And Mr. AlphaMale is 14,000 posts like hitting lvl 60 in Warcraft? I don't know, i'm a bit old for the videogames. But yes, it is a milestone.
Author Rooster_DAR Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 Rooster_dear, my heart goes out to you, and what you are going through right now. I've been there. I still am there. At least you still have that strong desire to still want a special someone in your life. I, on the other hand, am getting sooo used to being alone, that I think I almost prefer the solitude...AND THAT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!! I don't want to live my life alone, am I crazy?! So, let me ask you this, is that pathetic or what?! I don't think it's pathetic at all, on the contrary I commend you and believe everyone should take the timeout to be comfortable being alone. That's what I'm doing now. My sister loves being alone (or so she claims), and insists she is happier and would not have it any other way. She says she can have relations with who whe wants, and come and go without having to worry about the energy it takes to maintain a relationship. My sister is very strong headed and opinionated, I don't remember ever seeing her cry or pine for anyone. My thoughts that it was a defense mechanism, but she said she's tired of people assuming that and it's not the case, she's just very independant. My sister says the world or marriage and relationships is too **cked up, so she thinks it probably not worth the pain. I myself am purposely doing everything I can possibly do alone, I want to be comfortable and happy with just me for a while. Here are just a few things I've done alone recently. Went to vegas for 4 days Go out to clubs by myself Went to my company xmas party alone And I am going to spend xmas all by myself Good therapy I would say, although some of these things are a little tougher than others. Regards,
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