redcars Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 I have been seeing my BF for about 2 years and his ex wife hates my guts, she is making my life a living hell! She has brain washed their children into believing that I am the reason they will never get back together and now they will not have anything to do with me. They had separated months before we got together so but obviously she still had hopes of reconciling with him. He is very close to his children (11 and 13) and still goes there to see them but I cannot be included in anything they do together. I also have 2 children and how do I explain to them why they cant see his kids either? I cant stand the fact that he still has to be nice to her even though she slanders me at any given opportunity. He wont move in with me because his kids cant stay here. I am very much in love with him and we see each other mostly every night. I am so miserable and have constant depression spells. I cant even stand him talking about his kids because I get upset and thats not fair. I am starting to doubt his feelings for me because I feel like he should be sticking up for us but then he says he doesn't want to hurt his children in the process and I understand that but what sort of future do we have if everything that involves his kids I am unable to attend. It sucks and im soooo hurting. I know he is put in the middle of me and his kids. But I would never ask him to choose. What the hell do I do?? Run for the hills??
Jane Doe Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Yes, that's exactly what you need to do. I think it's great he loves his kids and is close to them (he should be!) but he's not considering your feelings at all. If he's acting this way after two years, there's definitely no future there.
D-Lish Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Ahh, yes... The dreaded ex wife. I assume you and your bf have talked at length regarding this problem? ANd the talks have led to no resolution? If that's the case, then yes, perhaps you should break things off. You have to start thinking about your own feelings here. If you're feeling hopeless and depressed about the situation, and he's refusing to make any concessions or take your feelings into consideration... then you need to look after you at this point. The bottom line is that his ex is holding this man hostage, using the children as an excuse to exclude you and make his life difficult. If he's willing to let this happen, then he's being direspectful to his relationship with you. Yes, his children should often come first. But not at the expense of everything else. If you're unhappy, you have to make a choice. It doesn't sound as if he is willing to compromise anything... so why should you? Tough situation. His ex sounds wretchid. D
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