herenow Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 After a few weeks of being a member here, I took a step back to realize that none of us really know each other. For example, if you read my posts, you would think that I was a fairly conservative person, but the reality is, I'm very liberal. You may think I work at an office, but the truth is, I sit on the board of a children's charity and I don't have a paying job. I could go on, but then I would be giving TMI. My point is, we only know a very small part of each others lives. With so much talk about the BW verses the OW, how can we really have any kind of resolution with the limited knowledge that we have. We should not be judged by what we say on this board. If you are not getting what you need, why stay? If it is only a cause for frustration, why do it? Anything on this board are only words from strangers, take what you need and leave the rest. You can only be hurt if you let someone hurt you. As long as the people that matter to you support you, you are golden.
Author herenow Posted December 1, 2006 Author Posted December 1, 2006 Amen!! We Are All Golden!! Yes, and the only people that can really hurt me are the people that I love and care about. Not that I don't care about any of you, but let's face it, we have no vested interest in each others lives. However, I do wish you all well.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 I know that some people on this forum (or used to frequent the board) actually made friends and met in real life...(I read about it on here quite some time ago)...so while we are strangers for the most part, there is an opportunity for people to build friendships..
Chapter2 Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 I agree with some of this but not all. It is true that you have to give someone else the power to hurt you but the subject matter here is very intense and most are raw with pain. While I can intellectually know that "I'm golden", I know in the heat of the moment some of the posts here have quite the sting irregardless of their intent. I guess I would be completely unphased if made of Teflon. My biggest challenge on LS is not reacting to the people who have absolutely nothing life giving to bring. Even that is of personal opinion. I've said over and over again that we don't know each other so how can we possibly judge people as one dimensional "if you do this then you must be this" or "if you particpated in this then you must be this"...its not fair but part of the blessing of living in a free country. I would love to hang out with the person who never got frustrated on this forum. That would be one he*ll of a grounded person with an amazing self image. I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Have I gotten all my needs met here...hardly. Have I made lifelong friends here... absolutely. I take LS day by day. There is good and bad in everything... except maybe chocolate. Even bad chocolate.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 There is good and bad in everything... except maybe chocolate. Even bad chocolate. Now chocolate IS FOR SURE golden!!!
puddleofmud Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 I understand the thrust of this thread but I will say that I wish to never take for granted that I "know" or "understand" any one. I know my children, I know my friends, I think I sometimes know myself. But as much as I THINK I may know them; I don't and could never really know how someone may change, how they really feel or what they are really thinking. I am not God. I am not that good about being myself. I feel that by saying "I know you" can be like expecting a set of terms; things we have come to EXPECT from another person as opposed to what is actual. I don't wish to expect what *I* want because that would be taking them for granted. My children surprise me every day in ways I don't and never knew them. I expect joyful surprises and BIG let downs--doesn't mean that I like it, just means I know they happen. So, in reality one should expect the same. What's to know? As we mature we figure out the answer is "not much" What's to learn? I have been gifted with an amazing imagination that could not even comprehend the answer to that one! NO, I don't personally know anyone here, but I do know myself well enough to care the best I am able and to give what little I am able. It is MY hands which type--not the computer.
Author herenow Posted December 1, 2006 Author Posted December 1, 2006 I agree with all the points made here. The point of my thread was to say that you can't judge what you don't know. When someone lashes out, they are reacting to their own experience. It may hurt someone else that does not understand where that person is coming from. We don't know the whole story. I'm encouraged to hear that people have made true friends. Everyone that posts here has a common thread and if this forum has brought together friendships, then all is good. One more piece of info about me: I love rock and roll! and yes puddleofmud, my children are my best teachers. I too learn from them everyday.
pureinheart Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Hey Herenow, Am so glad you posted this particular post, have thought about that very thing. Would love to hear about all of you and hope you share.....you know when you get older, the reflection of past begins to take place in a much different way....what have I done with my life....ect...writing it down helps you to see that your life has not been for nothing... Am 40 something...lol....worked with the Space Shuttle program all of my life as a technition....this type of work has turned me into a clean freak as FOD (foreign object damage) and contamination is unacceptable....now working on another old, yet exciting program. I have 4 wonderful ex-huspands and 1 not so wonderful ex-MM...lol....2 kids that are grown (son and daughter) which are such a blessing....2 grandkids and they are the apples of my eye. Was quite the partier, can't now, although still like to get out and tare it up....am a walking miracle as I should not be alive with all of drugs I did in the earlier yrs. Volunteered for many yrs as a crisis pregnancy councelor and post abortion syndrome. I love the Lord, although get on His last nerve all of the time....am generally a happy person and have a lot of friends. My kids are sucessful. although more inmportantly they are deep and loving people. My assignment was to put an end to all of the generational garbage that has been going on in my family for yrs, this has not been an easy task as I was a partier. The goal has always been to be free of all that has held me down, to pass that on to my kids and grandkids for a better future....
pureinheart Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Looks like I missed this one too....lol....sorry, got the wrong idea about the post....oh well....would you all share anyway....knowing about a person gives better understanding....
puddleofmud Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Hey Herenow, Am so glad you posted this particular post, have thought about that very thing. Would love to hear about all of you and hope you share.....you know when you get older, the reflection of past begins to take place in a much different way....what have I done with my life....ect...writing it down helps you to see that your life has not been for nothing... Am 40 something...lol....worked with the Space Shuttle program all of my life as a technition....this type of work has turned me into a clean freak as FOD (foreign object damage) and contamination is unacceptable....now working on another old, yet exciting program. I have 4 wonderful ex-huspands and 1 not so wonderful ex-MM...lol....2 kids that are grown (son and daughter) which are such a blessing....2 grandkids and they are the apples of my eye. Was quite the partier, can't now, although still like to get out and tare it up....am a walking miracle as I should not be alive with all of drugs I did in the earlier yrs. Volunteered for many yrs as a crisis pregnancy councelor and post abortion syndrome. I love the Lord, although get on His last nerve all of the time....am generally a happy person and have a lot of friends. My kids are sucessful. although more inmportantly they are deep and loving people. My assignment was to put an end to all of the generational garbage that has been going on in my family for yrs, this has not been an easy task as I was a partier. The goal has always been to be free of all that has held me down, to pass that on to my kids and grandkids for a better future.... You must be a long lost cousin, though I am not a rocket scientist! Just a mission control off-spring from the cape. Now that really tells one's age! You have an amazing life!!! May all that is precious aid you in your quest (but I think you are already doing a great job~ Party on in your own way!
johan Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Herenow, I've decided, regardless of what you say, that you are a 6'-2", 310lb, nymphomaniacal Mongolian woman with a violent temper who raises parakeets and eats raw broccoli and tofu three meals per day. I hereby judge you as undesirable due to your temper and your broccoli breath. Take that.
Author herenow Posted December 2, 2006 Author Posted December 2, 2006 Herenow, I've decided, regardless of what you say, that you are a 6'-2", 310lb, nymphomaniacal Mongolian woman with a violent temper who raises parakeets and eats raw broccoli and tofu three meals per day. I hereby judge you as undesirable due to your temper and your broccoli breath. Take that. Where do I know you from? You obviously haven't seen me since college. I lost about 50 pounds, so I'm a svelte 260 now. Everyone seems to have the same opinion about the broccoli, so I'm now on to Brussel sprouts. Not sure it helped though. As far as the temper, the drugs are working just fine, thank you. You may actually like the new me.
Author herenow Posted December 2, 2006 Author Posted December 2, 2006 Oh, and my dog ate the parakeets, so I'm done with that line of work. So, I'm looking for a job, any openings where you work?
Author herenow Posted December 2, 2006 Author Posted December 2, 2006 Hey Herenow, Am so glad you posted this particular post, have thought about that very thing. Would love to hear about all of you and hope you share.....you know when you get older, the reflection of past begins to take place in a much different way....what have I done with my life....ect...writing it down helps you to see that your life has not been for nothing... Am 40 something...lol....worked with the Space Shuttle program all of my life as a technition....this type of work has turned me into a clean freak as FOD (foreign object damage) and contamination is unacceptable....now working on another old, yet exciting program. I have 4 wonderful ex-huspands and 1 not so wonderful ex-MM...lol....2 kids that are grown (son and daughter) which are such a blessing....2 grandkids and they are the apples of my eye. Was quite the partier, can't now, although still like to get out and tare it up....am a walking miracle as I should not be alive with all of drugs I did in the earlier yrs. Volunteered for many yrs as a crisis pregnancy councelor and post abortion syndrome. I love the Lord, although get on His last nerve all of the time....am generally a happy person and have a lot of friends. My kids are sucessful. although more inmportantly they are deep and loving people. My assignment was to put an end to all of the generational garbage that has been going on in my family for yrs, this has not been an easy task as I was a partier. The goal has always been to be free of all that has held me down, to pass that on to my kids and grandkids for a better future.... You sound like a wonderful person.
pureinheart Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 LOL Puddle!!!!!!!! You are so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 You know, I have to tell you and all of the ladies here, that you all have a level of comprehension and understanding that I have not been able to find on the internet....or in public....I have a couple of friends that are deep and well versed, but the knowledge that you all have really can't be touched! Thank you so much
kymberann Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 OK so here are some specifics about me..... *37 years old, people think I look in my late 20's early 30's *Have a Master's degree in clinical psychology, would like to pursue a PhD *Three wonderful daughters, 14, 11 and almost 8. They are the best gift that I have ever had in my life *I work as a therapist (Now that's a funny one, because here I am!) *Love to read when I have time *Love all kinds of music *Vegetarian for health reasons *Teach weight lifting, spin, kick boxing *Training for a marathon (YIKES) and Triathalon *Can be totally literate and articulate one minute and then laugh your pants off the next *I have been referred to as Bohemian, my girls call me a neo hippie *I have several tattoos, belly pierced and nose *I was adopted when I was 2 and a half *Was once a theatre major *Am learning how to swim *Love late spring early summer, hate winter! That about explains it! Best
bonehead Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Im me most days, but subject to change without notice!!!!
frannie Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 I just wanted to say that, if you're a current or even ex OW (or OM), to be careful about posting details on here that could lead someone to find out your real identity. Because there are people (BSs mostly, but others who seem to be on a moral quest against infidelity) who have made a point of doing just that, so they can cause trouble in people's real lives. I've heard of a few cases. Not on this board, but on another I was on. It's not pretty when it happens. So please... be careful what you post about yourself.
Author herenow Posted December 4, 2006 Author Posted December 4, 2006 I would love to hang out with the person who never got frustrated on this forum. That would be one he*ll of a grounded person with an amazing self image. I don't know how grounded I am or that my self image is intact, but I' not frustrated by this forum. I'm frustrated by the situation that I'm in, but this forum did nothing to cause that. So, when do you want to hang out? Maybe lunch next week.
bonehead Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 I just wanted to say that, if you're a current or even ex OW (or OM), to be careful about posting details on here that could lead someone to find out your real identity. Because there are people (BSs mostly, but others who seem to be on a moral quest against infidelity) who have made a point of doing just that, so they can cause trouble in people's real lives. I've heard of a few cases. Not on this board, but on another I was on. It's not pretty when it happens. So please... be careful what you post about yourself. Wise advice for any type of internet chat, forum, or IM. BTW Still me today, but trying to figure out who to be tomorrow.
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