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what do i do w/ this boy ...

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hi... i'm seeing a new guy & i dunno what to make of some things he does ... i'm afraid of making a negative judgement too quickly, but here it goes:


been seeing him for about a month...

he's very sweet, calls everyday, etc...

we often double or triple date w/ friends...

we make out a LOT when we're alone - which i dont rlly mind since he's good at it...

havent slept with him.

his longest r/s was 3 months ...

he can be a clown... has very diverse interests - good...

sometimes gives vulgar compliments...

has a lot of close girl-friends - this part is fine - but they tell him their sexual experiences with their bf's - which he re-tells to me, sometimes - weird! though exciting.

he's somewhat feminine - gets along w/ girls very easily

he's the first guy whose body is absolutely fine for me - i like all of it.

sometimes while making out he'll say "aaah, im so damn horny right now - i mean - WE are, right?"...

stuff like that - as jokes, but it's bit vulgar eh? he doesn't attempt to have sex w/ me - and never takes off any clothes without my consent...


i do feel that he really likes me and that he wants this to work out ... but i guess i feel more sexual connection with him than emotional one. and that bothers me.


should i tell him?

should i simply arrange so that we spend more time doing stuff together & NOT making out?


i'm enjoying myself with him, but i get a not-very-clean feeling from it, if you know what i mean... ya - i guess i also feel a bit like he's not working hard nuff for what he's getting - physically - but on the other hand, he's giving me pleasure by whatever he's getting ...


he's very verbal... like while making out, he'll ask what feels good and what doesn't, and whether or not im wet, etc etc... - which is okay... but again, it feels a bit raw i guess?


i know i wont sleep w/ him until there's way more emotional connection between us ... (though i really want him physically) ...


anyway - what do you say? what do you think of all this & should i talk to him about any of this?

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When your a young man it will be raw. So far he is showing you physically attention. I wouldn't go day dreaming about how good it will be when you go all the way with him. More than likely he will be like a jack rabbit and when its over with you may feel like its a waste of time. Thats usually how it is when your young. I say he is probably young because you had mentioned his longest r/s was 3 months. If this guy is in his mid 30's I would definitely worry.


In the mean time stop giving him the opportunity to grind himself all over you. Go shopping or to a movie or something that doesn't require him grinding himself all over you. See if he minds spending some money on you. What else is there besides physical attraction? Go find out and let us know what happens next.

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thanks for your reply.


yep - the quy's young - early twenties.


i was thinking bout it today & i figured basically the same thing as what u said - ... i gotta see if there's anything but chemistry... i'll just see how it goes... he didnt have trouble spending cash on me so far, but he didnt go out of his way taking me to nice places either...


there's just a conflict between my mind and body... im rlly attracted to him, but my mind knows better... in the end, so far, neither body or mind are happy...


anyway - i'm just gonna see - there's still other guys all around... its not like he has "conquered" me, so i doubt too much harm's been done.


my general pattern is - making out is no big deal, but the guy's gotta RLLY deserve going further than that... makes sense?




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I suppose just observe him first. Is he man or not? It should be more than just physical beauty. Wait to find the man that takes allot of pride in his character and wants you to love him for more than just whats in his pants.

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weird comments...


Just make sure that you know he's not in the relationship for a pure physical thing.


And just because he's a young man doesn't mean he has to be "raw". I'm 19 and I don't act like this. Then again, I must send out weird vibes when I date. Girls just don't think I'm into that (like kissing, etc).


I don't act vulgar or anything. I usually wait till the girl makes the first move, however long that takes. I think I missed the memo about how guys are supposed to act!

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