LucreziaBorgia Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Understand it won't be easy. Divorcing a person is easy. Divorcing a long-time lifestyle is not.
puddleofmud Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Not to be ridiculous , but. Not everyone can put their partner first all the time every time. Some people are on submarines, down mines, and in all sorts of situations in which they can't be there or on the phone, unless it's an absolute matter of life or death. The fact is, that love doesn't equate to being available. I must not be explaining myself well: I DO NOT mean always phsyically available. My military father was absent for very long periods of time--but his devotion to my Mother and vice versa was unquestionable. The foundation of his love was ALWAYS there for her and never once did she worry he could be w/ anyone else--knowing this was also ever present. We were a family and we knew it because he loved us in the ways I previously describe. A person who loves you doesn't go find someone else when the two of you are apart or spend time apart having some girl-girl or guy-guy time or have a job that takes you out of town. As a child I was in the hospital while my Father was at war. Per his reqquest one of his best friends was stateside and he stepped in to help us for my Dad. He bought groceries, cooked, ran errands, etc. so my mom could stay w/me. He also came to see me and talked to about what my Dad was doing and told me funny stories about him. It was one of the sweetest things my Dad did for us--and I am thankful I have a wonderful example of what men should be to their wife & family and will accept nothing less!
norajane Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 She said nearly all MM are cake eaters which is the same as what you said. Well, I said, nearly all MM are not cake eaters - point being that not all MM are cheaters! Now, of those MM that do cheat, many of them are cake eaters because they don't want to leave their wives (they want to have the cake), but they want mistresses (and eat their cake, too).
bonehead Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Understand it won't be easy. Divorcing a person is easy. Divorcing a long-time lifestyle is not. That statement is so true in multiple aspects.
Trialbyfire Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 Understand it won't be easy. Divorcing a person is easy. Divorcing a long-time lifestyle is not. Lifestyle has nothing to do with fidelity and morality, hence the cake man or cake eater. Creature comforts or concern over asset splitting cannot justify the collateral damage. A man/woman that cares enough about his/her children should care enough not to indulge. If he/she wants to go elsewhere, he/she should nut up and do it all the way by walking away from a marriage that isn't acceptable. To even suggest that the children matter is very cowardly I feel, because the children are only an excuse to remain with two women/men. Hedging your bets persay.
frannie Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 I must not be explaining myself well: I DO NOT mean always phsyically available. My military father was absent for very long periods of time--but his devotion to my Mother and vice versa was unquestionable. The foundation of his love was ALWAYS there for her and never once did she worry he could be w/ anyone else--knowing this was also ever present. We were a family and we knew it because he loved us in the ways I previously describe. A person who loves you doesn't go find someone else when the two of you are apart or spend time apart having some girl-girl or guy-guy time or have a job that takes you out of town. Oh, well, I agree with this. The first part agrees with what I said in my earlier post: people can love you always, whether or not they're physically available for you. That goes for MM who are not always able to drop everything (for obvious reasons) to be with you in difficult times. The second part: I agree, as far as my emotions and the way I deal with relationships. It isn't loving someone to go behind their back and have someone else on the side. It's putting them in a lot of danger (of hurt, even disease), and that's not showing love at all.
RecordProducer Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Well, I said, nearly all MM are not cake eaters - point being that not all MM are cheaters! Oh, I see, but on LS we call the cheaters MM. The abbreviation "MM" doesn't identify a man who is married and devoted to his wife. She is talking about cheaters - MM. Capish?
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