stanchain Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 everything I have been reading talks about this whole NC thing. So I am starting to get the picture of not to call her. What nobody has done is explain to me what to do if she starts calling me. I have not called her since thanksgiving. Although she texted me on like tuesday or something like that. But now she is starting to call just to talk and things of that nature. Now i love this woman so it is nice to hear her voice and all. But if NC means that I should not even take her calls let me know. Cause she is not talking about coming back in her calls or anything like htat. she is just talking. So somebody please explain this a lil bit better 4 me
demilde Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 If you don't want to just be friends with her, then tell her that it not fair on you to carry on like this, and that it is best for you not to be in contact with her. If you have a desire to have her back, then maybe carry on like you are; don't answer the calls all the time, and when you do just be yourself. There is no need to talk about the 'us'. But if you are civil and the guy she once fell for then maybe by just being friends again, things might blossom. But take it slow and don't let your guard down. I guess it depends on the nature of the break. Maybe even go out from time to time, but if you begin to feel that there is absolutely nothing going on other than friendship and you don't want it, again just tell her and move on.
tanbark813 Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 No contact means no contact. Talking to her on the phone is contact.
blind_otter Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 everything I have been reading talks about this whole NC thing. So I am starting to get the picture of not to call her. What nobody has done is explain to me what to do if she starts calling me. I have not called her since thanksgiving. Although she texted me on like tuesday or something like that. But now she is starting to call just to talk and things of that nature. Now i love this woman so it is nice to hear her voice and all. But if NC means that I should not even take her calls let me know. Cause she is not talking about coming back in her calls or anything like htat. she is just talking. So somebody please explain this a lil bit better 4 me Don't take her calls if you want no contact. No contact is not talking about the person in question with your friends, not taking calls, no texting, no emails, no form of communication either direct or vicarious.
gfto Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 No contact means she cannot find you at all. As far as she knows, you must have gone into the witness protection program.
Guest Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 It all depends on what you want with the two of you. If you want to move on with your life and forget her, don't answer her calls. If you want to stay friends (I personally don't recommend this because it rarely works and often ends up hurting the dumpee more) than answer her calls and be yourself. However, if you want her back you need to take a different approach. When she calls you answer, be polite, be indifferent, and don't give her your time. Let her know and see that you are HAPPY with your life and that you are doing just fine without her. This will cause her to become more curious and as to why you are so happy again. Women are attracted to confident and faithful men so be one! Let her know that you agree with what she wants (e.g. "I absolutly agree that we need to be single again") and move on. If you can do this I can guarentee this wont be the end of her contact. Let her contact you, not vise versa and in no time the tide will be turning in your favor. Good luck.
bit11 Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 i agree you have to make them completely curious to why they have not heard from you. i am in the same boat and my job is to knock her off her pedestal and to do this i cant give anything to feed her ego. nothing.
Author stanchain Posted December 4, 2006 Author Posted December 4, 2006 I wsa doing good until last night... she called and wanted to go to my company x-mas party.... now she ended up not going... but we talked. she cried told me all kinds of things about missing me and such. And I messed up and told her the same.... she asked if I had closed the door on her or not and I told her the door was closed but she had the key. Now today she was hella short and had a guy she swears is just a friend over at her parents house. It is hard to believe that even when she told me that is not ready to go out and not ready to start dating... she does spend alot of time with this "friend." even though she said she had not kicked it with him in like 4-5 days. I think she is full of it... what do you guys think
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