anna13 Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 Well i had a friend of 20 plus years. we had a falling out and we mutually agreed to cut all ties . I was fine with that since I felt that she wasnt a true friend. I was also was friends with her 2 younger sisters. one of them is really young and i am not close with her and she has apparently taken the view with her older sister that if one is not my friend then all should not be . but the things is one of the 3 sisters has told me she doesnt care what her sisters say , and that it is hard to make friends in this world and this is why her sisters have no girlfriends. so we have been having lunch together once a week and i went over to her house yesterday . but it is akward because obviously her two sisters dislike me . she says they tell her on occasion that she should be standing by family and not me. and she says to me that our relationship has nothing to do with her sisters and that it is none of their business. the thing is I wonder, can I trust this sister ? my gut says I do trust her but at the same time I can't see how she can take the pressure .. i have even told her that if she has to that she can stop talking to me too and i will understand and she says no she wants to be friends with me . so what do you think ? to trust or not to trust ? i really like her as a person but i am afraid to be hurt again.
Author anna13 Posted December 1, 2006 Author Posted December 1, 2006 by the way they dont live together and I dont see the other two .
WhiteKnight Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 Everyone is afraid of being hurt to be blunt, regardless how you feel for the person and what did happen is all in the past I say. Its a closed chapter, there is nothing wrong with being friends of your ex-gf's sister. In fact I would enjoy it a friendship with the sister to be honest. Sometimes, some sisters are trustful and not. I suggest you take her word for it for now and see how it unravels. Sometimes it would be best to move on with someone else but its alright to be friends with your ex-gf's sister.
CardPlay3r Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 I agree, nothing bad with it, everyone is a different personm if you think she's a real friend and you can trust her go for it
norajane Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 Trust her to do what? What are you afraid of in being friends with her? How do you think she might not be trustworthy?
Author anna13 Posted December 1, 2006 Author Posted December 1, 2006 I am going through alot of personal issues and I wonder if this is a way for her sisters to get info on me because they are nosey. she says she doesnt do that and she tells them nothing . I know she tells me that they always ask her so what is going on with me , this or that so i just wonder sometimes.
norajane Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 If her sisters are pressuring her to "stand by the family" and drop your friendship, then I don't see how this would be a way for them to get information about you because they're nosy. If they were that nosy, they'd want her to be your friend so they could get whatever dirt. Why let her sisters destroy a good relationship? They'd be "winning" even more by making you walk away from a good friendship.
whichwayisup Posted December 2, 2006 Posted December 2, 2006 can I trust this sister Yes, but keep the friendship honest. And what I mean by that is, don't discuss her sisters or what happened in the past. Don't say ANYTHING that could come back and haunt you in the future. That would ruin the friendship and probably make the new found sis friend feel uncomfortable.
Author anna13 Posted December 2, 2006 Author Posted December 2, 2006 i never discuss her sisters at anytime . not at all , but she does bring them up to me occasionally whcih makes me uncomfortable. but i dont say anything about anything when she mentions them , I just listen to her. then change the subject. the reason i think they are nosey is because my friend the sister tells me that they always ask about my finances , my relationship with my husband and so on and so forth. I just tell her dont say anything about me to them . she says she only says a few things and then changes the subject with her sisters. now she says she tells them that she hardly talks to me , i think that is a good idea .I should just trust her. I mean if I dont I shouldnt be her friend but I do , and even though I am afraid of being hurt , I will not think the worst unless i have reason to. thanks for letting me get that out of my system
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