Toyota23 Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 Hello all. I'll start by saying I am extremly shy with new people. It takes me awhile to get warmed up.. Once I am warmed up I am far from shy though (i am probably too blunt and give too much information just like the rest of this post ). I have, what it seems like, anxiety attacks when i get shy. My head constantly revolves around how nervous I am and all i can think of is to get the hell out of this situation. I am currently 23 and when i was in high school I did alot of drugs (mainly speed) yada yada yada. I then ended up in rehab and joined a support group. I never was really into alchohol i just mainly did drugs. I did like to get buzzed every once in awhile though. My support group says that I cannot drink alchohol because it may lead back to drugs. So I have listened to them and have not done any drugs/alchohol for 4 years. I have not dated any girls in around 5 years. As explained above i get way to shy. So, I believe i have a solution and that is alchohol. I am wondering if it is worth trying to drink and get a date? When buzzed i feel as though i am my true self, funny, confident etc.. Or maybe you think i should see a phsyco dictor ?? Open for honesty.. Sorry if errors in this post my writing skills kinda suck . Thank you in advance.
alphamale Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 um...yea...I assume you're Oriental cause of your user name. Theres a guy on here called JOEL who can help you out. He don't post that often but he's very knowledgeable on this subject.
burning 4 revenge Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 Drinking releases inhibitions and makes you productive. Look at the West as opposed the Islamic world. Those tea-totelers are living in the seventh century. I say threw a couple back and the road to ultimate fulfillment is near at hand.
Pyro Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 Hello all. I'll start by saying I am extremly shy with new people. It takes me awhile to get warmed up.. Once I am warmed up I am far from shy though (i am probably too blunt and give too much information just like the rest of this post ). I have, what it seems like, anxiety attacks when i get shy. My head constantly revolves around how nervous I am and all i can think of is to get the hell out of this situation. I am currently 23 and when i was in high school I did alot of drugs (mainly speed) yada yada yada. I then ended up in rehab and joined a support group. I never was really into alchohol i just mainly did drugs. I did like to get buzzed every once in awhile though. My support group says that I cannot drink alchohol because it may lead back to drugs. So I have listened to them and have not done any drugs/alchohol for 4 years. I have not dated any girls in around 5 years. As explained above i get way to shy. So, I believe i have a solution and that is alchohol. I am wondering if it is worth trying to drink and get a date? When buzzed i feel as though i am my true self, funny, confident etc.. Or maybe you think i should see a phsyco dictor ?? Open for honesty.. Sorry if errors in this post my writing skills kinda suck . Thank you in advance. When I first started going out and becoming social, I too was shy around women. A good drink or two definitely did the trick, but don't rely on it everytime, or else we'll have an alcoholic on our hands. As time went on, I learned to open up a little bit more each day and now I don't need alcohol to open up to anyone. Give it time and experience dude.
Guest Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 I don;t think you should drink... it definately is somewhat of a gateway thing... if you are shy.. why would you want to meet a girl at a bar.... that would be where you'd drink at right?? Why not just try something different... play on the shy thing... go to like barnes and noble or somewhere you won't be expected to just be crazy....
bab Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 So, when I read you title, I was like, sure why not? But, your post answered the question of why not. The more you go out with people the more you will get better at it. The risk of adding alcohol for you isn't worth it. Seeing a psycologist might be a good way to deal with your anxiety.
typical Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 Dont take nothing for nothing! You should know this by now, being 4 years clean. You should also know why they told you not to drink alcohol, even though technically you are involved with NA and never had a drinking problem. Its still the same bag, and there is no getting around it. If you drink, kiss your sobriety date goodbye, because it does count. Keep going back, it works. Now, this shyness thing....sigh...There is no easy way around this, so just go through it instead. Practice becoming bolder by going out in general public, (supermarket, restaurants, department stores) and make it a point to say exactly what is on your mind.(within reasonable reason of course). For example, if you are at a restaurant, and the waiter/waitress asks you if everything is okay, and it really isnt, tell him/her so. "Actually, no, my bread was lacking its usual fluffiness, it was rather stale" or if you are in the department store, and are asked by a sales representative if you need help, "simmer down, I can shop for myself, unless you want to dress me, at which point, i will politely accept or decline depending on your experience with the male physique" ha ha ha.... ...( dont say that) Seriously, just become empowered and while you are out practicing, (should you decide to) just remember that you might not ever see these people again, so go ahead and shed your shyness. Nothing like making a lasting impression, I say.
norajane Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 Typical is right about trying to put yourself out there each day. Even if it's small contacts with store employees, or a taxi driver, or whoever, you get to practice talking to strangers and hopefully will realize there's no real consequence in talking to people - nothing bad is going to happen if you smile at the girl who makes your latte and wish her a happy holidays or something. Besides, it's fun when she smiles back! However, if you have a real anxiety disorder (and aren't just shy), even the smallest interactions with people might be debilitating. If that's the case, seeing a shrink is your best bet. They do have anti-anxiety medications they can proscribe for you, but the therapy might be all you need.
Author Toyota23 Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 Hey all. Thank you so much for all your replies. Thought I would give you an update on what I'm prolly going to do. Welp, I think i am going to NOT drink. I was just thinking this morning after my cigarette, i started smoking for the buzz . Not to look kewl but just the buzz so I don't think I am going to drink. Solution: quit smoking, excersise then we will see where i am at. I dunno. In response to TYPICAL: I have since stopped going to my "support group" as all it does is making me want to use/drink. Plus it is way too clicky(prolly not spelt right). Plus all i do is look at the girls and i have no desire to fully work a program (after trying twice and not feeling it). So sobriety date not really important to me if i did drink. I have forgetten the date but i think it is around 4 years. July of 2k2 i believe. I like the lines you gave for the waiter and department store are clever though .
roxy_1980 Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Seems to me that you have an addictive personality. You said that you started smoking for the buzz. Drinking in any form is something that you would not be able to handle. From what you wrote, you seem to latch onto addiction from the get go. If even your support group makes you wanna drink/do drugs, it is a clear sign that you still need to keep going. Especially since you were tempted to go out and drink when you obviously shouldn't.
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