Narcissistic Personality Disorder

[frannie]

but maybe OW is attracted to men with NPD.

 

I wasn't an OW when I was involved with the person who was exhibiting some of the characteristics of NPD.

 

My MM is totally unlike him. Once was quite enough.

 

And... there has been quite enough 'armchair diagnosing' on this thread. Please don't diagnose me further. Thanks.

[bigdummy]

Please read this from the moderator before posting in this forum: This particular forum is focused on discussing the problems and experiences of those who are in relationships with people who already have commitments to other partners. It is certainly appropriate for people whose partners have been unfaithful to them to offer their insight to posters here; however, it is only appropriate if it's done in a respectful and helpful manner.

"Respectful and helpful" does not mean that you must condone or encourage a poster. It does not mean that you must agree with the poster. We cannot list every conceivable sentence, phrase, or word that a person could post, and declare whether or not it is acceptable. Our rules prohibit personal attacks (see our guidelines for a definition: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/guidelines), but you must also adhere to the larger philosophy of the site, which is to provide support and assistance. If your response is not posted in that spirit, chances are it will be deemed inappropriate.

 

Too many people begin posting on this without (apparently) reading that post from the moderator.

 

In any case, I am not an OW but instead came her for support and advice BEFORE I took the fateful step. All of the problems that OW talk about on here helped me stop myself from going ahead with an affair with a MM (my boss no less) but the discovery of that Narcissistic personality disorder Web site helped clear things up for me even further as to why my MM was acting the way he was (is . . . .) It would have helped me whether I was contemplating being with him or not. It would have helped just understand the way he is period. In any case, even w/ all the info I still long to be with him. It's so hard. I can't imagine how much harder it must be for those who have the memory of being with him to contend with. For me, it's just in my imagination. Even as I think, 'what a jerk' for all of his flirting and trying to seduce me ( I am married, too) I still want to be with him so badly. And it just kills me when he talks about his wife. I just want to throw up. I know it's not rational. It's just the way I feel.

And this is the part where people who aren't OW or who aren't contemplating being OW are not supposed to JUDGE. People stop sharing honestly when they are attacked for that honesty.

[Guest]

I am the other side of the equation that you are all seeking advice for. I am a married man who has lived with the knowledge of my wife wanting to be with a creepy character who manipulates her like a pawn. This has gone on for two years now. I have tried in every way possible to be patient and understanding. I have set aside my huge ego for the sake of my family for a long time but I'm afraid my will is whithering.

 

I was always told that this man openly flirts but it is not reciprocal. That her feelings by enlarge were hidden from coworkers. I was approached via email at work anonymously the other day by someone at my wifes office. I do not no who,nor do I recognize the address. It was simply an email detailing conversations between my wife and the om. Basically it discussed times and places they had met and how they planned times alone at the office and how my wife confessed to this person the effort she has put in to have sex with this man.

 

I don't know how or why but somehow the om's daughter even wound up on my basketball team - I am the coach.I have noticed my wifes anger toward the om's wife, who is no prize herself but is nonetheless adequately paired,is venomous.

 

For all I know they're together now. I thought that her honesty about the situation was all that I had left, however I realized last night that I've been had and it's not the first time.

I am going to see the om once or twice a week for a while now and I have a wonderful vision of knocking his lights out which would not be much to brag about but what's to lose at this point. At least I'd have a place to move on from.

 

I would appreciate any advice as I haven't been able to sleep since the email, and I figured someone might tell me how they would like their partner to act.

[frannie]

Hello guest.

 

Since your query is really from the BS's viewpoint, you might get more replies on the Infidelity board if you haven't already tried it? Try posting a new thread, too, as it will get a lot more attention.