Spiderman Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I had a very bizarre dream the other night which included my fiancé's ex!?! I've never met the guy & he hasn't even warranted a mention for nigh on 2 yrs!! God knows what provoked such a dream!?! To cut along story short, I ended up whacking the ex & slapping my fiancé ( which I'd never do I might add, not unless she got really lippy!! ), which inevitably ended in me ruining my relationship/engagement!?! A few days later ( yesterday ) who dya think my GF received a text from! You guessed it, the ex!! Strange or what!? I'll hold my hands up, I'm quite jealous on occasions, I wouldn't say overly but enough to cause my GF concern in situations like this. Although somewhat hesitant - only to be expected due to my past actions in similar situations -she told me about the text, which I really appreciated. It proved her trust in me not to go mad and over react, which I didn't. I felt it to be a little step forward in our relationship and for me personally. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted to thrash him for daring to text my fiancé', but I expect it's out of our hands if these past acquaintances decide to come out of the woodwork every so often *grrrrr* What I learnt about x's - Why be jealous of an Ex girl/ boyfriend etc? they broke up for a reason. don't let the past effect the present and ruin' the future. it's hard to let it go but why would you let some ex control your relationship's success? Jealousy tip - Try to control your jealousy, even if you are jealous about little things, don't show it to your partner every time you are jealous. Your partner might find it annoying after a while, and you might the opposite effect you want to achieve. Instead, calm down and think, whether you got any reason to get jealous. It seems to be working for me.
a4a Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 but I expect it's out of our hands if these past acquaintances decide to come out of the woodwork every so often *grrrrr* What I learnt about x's - Why be jealous of an Ex girl/ boyfriend etc? they broke up for a reason. don't let the past effect the present and ruin' the future. it's hard to let it go but why would you let some ex control your relationship's success? Jealousy tip - Try to control your jealousy, even if you are jealous about little things, don't show it to your partner every time you are jealous. Your partner might find it annoying after a while, and you might the opposite effect you want to achieve. Instead, calm down and think, whether you got any reason to get jealous. It seems to be working for me. Well again we had to recently deal with the same thing. H's X who pops up or did. He simply emailed her to basically tell her to stop all contact. Perhaps the motive of the X should be taken into consideration at some point before going to such extremes. However we were basically contacted without any reply to her and it did not stop. Some very inappropriate contact publically as well. Very disrespectful of both of us. Bunny boiler of sorts. But what is the point in staying in touch with an X if a real friendship is not shared, common interests, or feelings? Or a need such as children or finances. LMAO!! I too knew she was getting ready to Pop up out of the woodwork. This time H hammered her right back into the wood and burned it. He did it without me pressuring him to do so. However I have a feeling she will be back.
littlekitty Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 But what is the point in staying in touch with an X if a real friendship is not shared, common interests, or feelings? Or a need such as children or finances. Exactly. And the reason I then asked him not to contact me again. But without changing all your phone numbers etc, it's impossible to predict or control an ex contacting you. So as Spidy rightly says, what's the point in getting jealous about it?! The point I think is to be respectful and honest with your partner about anything like that, and to nip it in the bud.
Author Spiderman Posted November 30, 2006 Author Posted November 30, 2006 Hello ma dalrin' a4a, He simply emailed her to basically tell her to stop all contact. Perhaps the motive of the X should be taken into consideration at some point before going to such extremes. However we were basically contacted without any reply to her and it did not stop. Some very inappropriate contact publically as well. Very disrespectful of both of us. Bunny boiler of sorts Sounds like my X!! Some people! But what is the point in staying in touch with an X if a real friendship is not shared, common interests, or feelings? Or a need such as children or finances. I agree, pointless. LMAO!! I too knew she was getting ready to Pop up out of the woodwork. This time H hammered her right back into the wood and burned it. He did it without me pressuring him to do so. However I have a feeling she will be back. Well done that man. Hopefully she'll get fed up sooner or later and go haunt someone else. X's who need 'em!! Another chapter in your book me thinks - 'Ways to deal with the X'
a4a Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Exactly. And the reason I then asked him not to contact me again. But without changing all your phone numbers etc, it's impossible to predict or control an ex contacting you. So as Spidy rightly says, what's the point in getting jealous about it?! The point I think is to be respectful and honest with your partner about anything like that, and to nip it in the bud. good job my love button! I know what you mean ours snagged our address.... had the balls to put my name in the card this round. :lmao: There is no jealousy on my part but she wrote such an embarassing disrespectful bit on our private non published guest book that it did piss me off -that was it for me and the H. She is nuts according to my H and those that know her. Cried about us getting married or some crap to a friend. My H has not replied to her in over 4 years, even on friendly terms. It is more like having a wacko neighbor that won't leave you alone. So went too fair with a physical intrusion in our home..... deserved a nice go F yourself note. Totally agree if you stand as a united front they will eventually figure out their is not room for them in your life.
littlekitty Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Try to control your jealousy, even if you are jealous about little things, don't show it to your partner every time you are jealous. Your partner might find it annoying after a while, and you might the opposite effect you want to achieve. This is so true. If Spidy and I weren't able to communicate as well as we do, this could have grown into a major issue. I dislike jealousy, although we all experience it. But I'd had major issues in previous relationship with a jealous partner. Had Spidy and I not been able to talk about this, we could have continued down a road where when these occassional things happened, his jealous outbursts would cause me to end up claming up about these things. In turn that would have built more distrust for Spidy. It could have been our down fall. But we talked about the situation and were able to explain our opinions to each other and work on a way forward. It was a relief to be able to tell Spidy about the text and for him to understand that there was nothing I did to instigate it and nothing I could do to control it. Therefore nothing to be jealous about. I'm proud of our relationship and our ability to communicate about our issues and work through them together.
littlekitty Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 good job my love button! I know what you mean ours snagged our address.... had the balls to put my name in the card this round. :lmao: There is no jealousy on my part but she wrote such an embarassing disrespectful bit on our private non published guest book that it did piss me off -that was it for me and the H. She is nuts according to my H and those that know her. Cried about us getting married or some crap to a friend. My H has not replied to her in over 4 years, even on friendly terms. It is more like having a wacko neighbor that won't leave you alone. So went too fair with a physical intrusion in our home..... deserved a nice go F yourself note. Totally agree if you stand as a united front they will eventually figure out their is not room for them in your life. Yep, a united front is the way forward. We all know what a wacko Spidy's ex is... you'll no doubt remember my many rants about her. Our united front seems to have finally stopped the majority of her crap thank god.
Author Spiderman Posted November 30, 2006 Author Posted November 30, 2006 good job my love button! I know what you mean ours snagged our address.... had the balls to put my name in the card this round. :lmao: There is no jealousy on my part but she wrote such an embarassing disrespectful bit on our private non published guest book that it did piss me off -that was it for me and the H. She is nuts according to my H and those that know her. Cried about us getting married or some crap to a friend. My H has not replied to her in over 4 years, even on friendly terms. It is more like having a wacko neighbor that won't leave you alone. So went too fair with a physical intrusion in our home..... deserved a nice go F yourself note. Totally agree if you stand as a united front they will eventually figure out their is not room for them in your life. LK's X doesn't pose a problem, it's mine that's the temperaMENTAL one!! It's easy for a guy to deal with a new GF's x if he's a issue, not so with a guys x. Girls don't seem to solve things with their fists for some reason!? I'd happily promote mud wrestling as a problem solver!!
a4a Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Awwww you guys give me a special feeling....... oooops did that sound naughty?
littlekitty Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Awwww you guys give me a special feeling....... oooops did that sound naughty? We like naughty a4a!!! You give us a special feeling too....
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