Br0k3n Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Ok, so here’s the deal, me (25) and my ex (25) were together for just over 6 years and we lived together pretty much since day 1. I met her whilst on holiday and she happened to be working in the area where I was at university. During the course of our relationship we moved around the country (mainly during my term times) moving in with family, leaving when my university terms started again. After I graduated from university, we moved back in to the area where her parents were living (although this not the area she was originally from) and I started working for a company where her dad works (he altered me to the position) I’m still in the same job enjoying it as much as I did when I first started We then purchased a house together in the area (on my salary) and were living a comfortable lifestyle although we never had much money to spend on each other + going out as it was all getting ploughed into the house. Last year my ex started at the local university, after some encouragement from myself, so that she could peruse a more meaningful career and reap the rewards. The first year of university passed by, all seemed fine and she made a few girly friends but never really went for any nights out, when she did I used to go along as well. A couple of months ago my ex said to me, which at the time seemed out of the blue, that she felt that there was something missing from our relationship although she still loved me and found me attractive. We agreed that we would work at this to try and resolve the issues, as to be honest; I think that we were taking each other for granted. Then, one night around about a month ago, she said that she viewed me and our relationship as more of a brotherly/sisterly relationship and that she felt that she couldn’t move past this! We decided that it would be a good idea to spend some time apart with reduced contact to see if that would rekindle anything. So at the start of the month she moved back in with her parents leaving me in the house alone. Within about 5 days of her moving out, I called round to her parents to pick up some things that I needed for work. We sat down, had a chat, and she said that she still felt no different towards me. I replied saying that we’ve only spent a few nights apart and that we should give it a little longer. A week pasted with almost NC, maybe the odd txt just to see how each other was doing, but nothing more than that. Last week I asked her dad if she was ok and asked if she had said anything to him which he said she hadn’t, but then again she hadn’t been in much! In one respect this surprised me as she said that she had mountains of work that she needed to do, a number of exams coming up shortly and that she needed some time to herself. I went around to see her at the weekend to find out what the situation was between us only to find out that she had apparently told me we’d broken up when I last saw her (when I said we need to spend a little longer apart) – news to me! I then found out via her dad that she wasn’t staying at home that night (and she hadn’t a few other nights since she’d been back). I asked her about this and if she was seeing someone to which she replied “would it make any difference if I was!” This really hurt as I knew deep down that she was going to be spending the night with someone else I’ve since seen emails from her (not sent to me) that confirm this and that also indicate that she has been with a couple of other people as well! Knowing this really hurts, but has also made me realise that we couldn’t get back together as I would have a real trust issue. Having said this, I’m real cut up inside and find myself, as other’s on here have posted, that my emotions are a complete wreck. I find myself not wanting to eat, have trouble sleeping and that I’m constantly thinking about her and what she’s up to (I know deep down this is not good but I can’t help myself) I just feel really confused because I know that I don’t want to be with her yet I can’t seem to move on whereas she has.
brokenwithouther Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Sorry to hear your situation dude. I am going through a seperation from my wife right now so I don't have too much to offer in the way of advice. Just wanted to say I hope things get better for you.
Mythical Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Hey Buddy, I am so sorry to hear this, as i was reading your post I felt so horrible for you. This was totally un fair to you, and I hate to say this but she probabaly met a dude when you guys were still together and slowly got away with you hook up with him and others. This is really hard for me to say but i did it to someone i was with for 4 years. He loved me to death i met someone that was a lot more right for me (while we wre dating) I broke up with him but it took a long time because I still cared for him and he was such a nice person. I feel terrible for doing everything I did. We are still REALLY good friends though and I have defiently learn't a life lesson on how to treat ppl. I would never hurt someone like that again. he is an awesome person and deserves better than someone that hade half feeligns for him. Like yourself you seem like an extremely caring and geuine person. I think you will getpast this it is probably so difficult becuause you didn't get any explanation and you were left loving her trying to work thigns out, and working on the relationship. She left you probabaly knowing what she wanted and not explaining anything to you. Just be strong and know that you deserve better. I hope the best for you. You will be fine!
Guest Posted December 1, 2006 Posted December 1, 2006 6 years is a pretty long time to be with one person. i know, because i dated the same girl for 6 years as well, and then all of a sudden things just seemed to change between the two of us. it's tough buddy. i know because i have been where you have been. our situations are different because every circumstance is unique, but i can empathize with the loss and potential failure - maybe that's the wrong word? -that you are feeling right now. my advice - if you're willing to take advice from an absolute stranger such as myelf - let things play out on their own. step back from this one relationship that you have out of many, and just reexamine the situation. that's right, this is simply one relationship with a friend out of many that you have. granted, she was a much closer friend than any other friend, but when all is said and done, she is still just one friend among a multitude. screw playing games, and since ya'll dated for 6 years, i am just going to assume that you aren't naturally a jackass. very few people put up with such behavior, and i am just assuming she is no different. so don't start acting like one because it will come back to bite you in the ass. trust me on that one, if you dare. as for her having moved on, i guarantee you that she has not done anything even remotely close. no one likes to admit a relationship with someone failed and, especially if it was a good one to begin with, no one likes to end one. she may be with another guy, but that has much less to do with her moving on than it does with trying to find a way to replace you and fill a void left in her heart. i will just assume again, this girl was probably in love with you at one point, and may still be. but she just wants to do her own thing at this point. that being said, you must have done something right. take pride in that. this girl might still like you more than you know. do your own thing, let her do her own thing, and leave it at that. stay the course my man, stay the course.
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