ohmy Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I have been talking to someone I met casually a couple of years ago for the last couple of months online and over the phone. We met up once at his house (he has his kids when I don't have mine and vice versa, so our conflicting schedules weren't conducive to an actual date). I told him from the getgo that I just wanted to be friends at first, to alleviate any pressure, as it was an awkward situation (I initiated our reconnection through e-mail and he had no idea who I was). The first time I went to his house, we had a good time. We just hung out, had a glass of wine, and watched TV. He walked me to my car, we shook hands, and he called me when I got home to tell me that that was the most enjoyable evening he's had in a long time. I was guarded, as I've been hurt before, and haven't been in a relationship for two years. So he asked me to come over again a couple of weeks later (we'd talked via e-mail and on the phone in the interim - both of us have very busy lives), and this time, things were different. He is a busy body and it took him a while to stop doing things and sit down next to me. Since our first meeting, I had grown more trusting of him and the chemistry was undeniable. Long story short, I had too many glasses of wine, became very affectionate, and we ended up having sex. I'm not someone who does that on the second date, but the circumstances ended up that way and that was that. I woke him several hours later to let him know I was going to "bolt", as I felt very awkward and didn't know how to act in this kind of situation. He asked if I was going to answer the phone when I called him, I said yes (this is fuzzy - I think I told him that I would even call him to appease his curiosity). The next day, I waited all day for him to call (because of the fuzziness - wasn't sure what I was supposed to do), and then called him at like 8pm that evening. He didn't answer (very unusual), so I left a voice mail that was casual - telling him that I hoped he was able to stay awake at work today and that he enjoyed the b-day party he was supposed to attend that evening. I ended it with "I hope to talk to you soon". Okay, so it's now been almost a week and he hasn't returned my call. I feel awful - I'm not sure if I was duped or if he is being protective of himself - thinking that maybe I'm not interested anymore - or what. I don't know if he was the perfect match for me, but I regret drinking too much (a rarity for me) and acting on my impulses like that. I'm in my early 30's - that's just not something I normally do. Now I feel like a ho. What happened? What should I do? I don't want to be "that girl" and bother him with phone calls, etc. But I also don't want him to think I'm not interested. Do you think that's even a possibility or have I been duped? He's really good looking, very intelligent, has a huge ego, and could very well be a ladies man. I don't know - I need some advice. This is hanging over my head like a black cloud.
Parmalat Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Wow, I can't say that this sounds like a good situation, but let me ask you this, what was the lenght between your phone calls before the "incident" and what about writing him an e-mail with a receipt acknowledgement so that you can see when he gets it/opens it.
Guest Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 I had been talking to him for several months on the phone - here and there - before this "second date". I can't figure it out. Either he figured that was my normal behavior and became disinterested because of it, he's a playboy (which I kind of sensed but ignored like an idiot), or he got scared because we really did seem to have so much in common. I don't know. Since the time of this posting, I'm feeling better about things. I know I'm not a sleaze, although I felt like one for a good while afterwards. I just made a mistake - and I'm probably better off that he never called. He was kind of a jerk - very pompous and arrogant. I'm always attracted to those kinds of guys. Why? No idea. I'm just so shy and get so nervous around guys that it's hard to imagine I'll ever find Mr. Right. Any suggestions?
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