lsmith76 Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I am going through pure hell. I don't know if I a going to be strong enough for this. 8 years is a long time to be with someone. Then to have it end. I feel like my whole life is upside down. I don't know how to be single. I am serious. How do you date? Really. This is a serious question because I never really "dated" How do I get out there and meet people without running into another *******? What should I expect? It seems all the men around here just want a piece. I don't think I will ever be able to trust again. It has been 10 days since the ex and I have broken up. He is hounding me about the stupid fishtank that he bought....leaving me to pay all the bills by myself. I wont give it to him because he told me he bought it for the house, so that is where it is staying! I feel like I am walking away from 8 years with absolutely NOTHING to show for it. Should I just give it back to him...or do I deserve to keep it? I am just trying to move on with life without hurting. This is terrible. He doesn't even act like he cares...how could you not care after 8 years?
D-Lish Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I wouldn't even worry about dating right now...too much on your plate. When you're ready, there's plenty of time. I'd deal with your break up first. DO you care about the fishtank? If not, let him have it. You can also use it as leverage for keeping the things that really matter to you. Compromises will have to be made on both ends....so be the first to hand him the olive branch and let him have it if he really wants it. After 8 years, there's no doubt he still cares, how could he not? The first reaction is to be bitter.... but you can be the bigger person and deal with the decisions that have to be made rationally. Just take a deep breath and let yourself grieve. I didn't date for a very long time after my ex husband and I broke up after 7 years together. Deal with the s**t first... then worry about the dating scene.
LakesideDream Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Ditto's with D-Lish. Why do you care about the aquarium? Do you like cleaning it and feeding the inhabitants? Dating will come when/if it does. Forcing the issue almost always leads to poor results. Eight years may seem like a long time to you now... wait until you are 55.
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I agree that if you're not ready to date, don't. As for the fishtank, calculate your outstanding bills, divide by 50% and tell him that once he gives you cash upfront for this amount, you will be more than happy to give him his fishtank. Otherwise, it's yours to sell to pay for outstanding bills.
littlekitty Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I agree with what everyone else has said. You aren't ready to date yet, you'd be un-human to feel ready after 10 days out of an 8 year relationship. I also agree with TrailbyFire regarding the Fish Tank. Sounds like a fair and viable option to me.
Author lsmith76 Posted November 30, 2006 Author Posted November 30, 2006 I appreciate it! I am not sure if its worth all of the drama...I think I should just give him back his stupid fish tank and then tell him to forget he ever met me. He never wanted to be a man and help with this house, hell he can't even take care of himself.
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