Lost in Love

[xo_Lost In Love_xo]

To make a long story short, I have been dating the new guy "A" for like 4 months now. After going back and forth with my ex bf "P" for about two years, he has come to realize that he wants to be with me and work on a future/family. This sucks. I mean, A is an awesome guy. He is good to me and good to my son and has done nothing wrong to me at all... and wouldn't. However, I feel that we have two opposite lifestyles. A is two years younger than me and this is the first shot he's ever had to give for a "family life" so to speak. He always seems so busy... always occupied, but does take time for me... I don't know. I sit back and watch his parents... and his dad is the same way.. but his mom is sooo unhappy. I don't want that to be me!!!! I just want my normal "settled down family life" that I'm used to! My ex that I do love wants all of this!

About a week ago, I told A that I miss P. Yeah, that might not have been the best idea, but it was the truth for my distance/unhappiness. A really wants things to work for us tho... and I don't want to hurt him.

I've always put others' feelings first... but what about mine?

 

I am so lost and confused. P has waited for me for the last 4 months. I feel that if i don't take the chance now, that opportunity may be gone.

 

Do I let A go and run to P with arms wide-open? and if so, how do I tell A?

[hollywood24]

This is a complicated situation. What happened between you and P in the first place? As it stands now (knowing nothing about the background between you and P) I see no reason the run back to P if you and A are havingsuch a great time and if he is really a good guy. Maybe you should have a FRIENDLY and CONSTRUCTIVE conversation with A about your current concerns in your relationship. Think of it like this; at least A is keeping himself busy and isn't needy and clingy, at least he does his own thing and tries his best to keep you happy! But I don't really know what else to say without knowing more. Sorry

[theadventure50120]

Depends why you split up in the first place. Want to risk this new guy with someone old and it happening again?

 

But you got to do what's right for you and not others. Your all that matters. It's your life.

[xo_Lost In Love_xo]

Okay, a little background on me and P. I had a very hard time with my separation/divorce.... every divorce is rough. I wasn't even interested in dating again or attempting to find another man that i could love as much as i did my ex husband. Until I started dating P.

 

I decided to put all of my pain and hurt from what i went thru behind me and move forward. I started building my hopes and goals for a family/future (which i already have a family... I have a little boy) around P and his family.

 

Everything was great for quite a while. We had an awesome time together. We have alot of the same interests which is a plus. P had been single for a year or more and had become acustomed to the "single independent" life. He basically had become used to his life being centered around his bikes (he builds choppers), hanging with his friends, and drinking. After a the newness wore off, some of this kinda started getting old. I mean, I came from a "settled down family life" with a husband that didn't even like to go to the bars, let alone drink. Of course ... P said he wanted the fam life with me... but was scared to settle down.

 

Then I dont know what happend but we started arguing all of the time. Finally, in January of this year, I broke up with him. We kept going back and forth for about 6 months after that... heck, we even went on vacation together in May. But i just got sick of everything being on his terms all of the time. You can only give so much without getting anything back.

 

I went NC with him and we both had a little bitterness... you could tell when we would end up in the same place at times... considering we have mutual friends. It hurt and was hard to do, but I had to try to move on with my life.

 

One night we ended up at the same place together with all of our friends for a benefit. We didn't speak. But that's when I met A at the same place. A is 2 yrs younger than me... and a hottie I might add. lol sorry had to throw that in. So of course i was attracted, but sometimes i ask myself .. Did I attract to A just in despite of P? Who knows.

 

After that night, A and i started talking as friends on the phone alot. In the meantime, P and I were ending up in the same places alot... but kept it casual/friends. He had no clue that I had met A and had been talking to him on the phone. Next thing i know, P starts calling me and texting me out of the blue asking me on dinner dates, movie dates, wanting to cook out with me, wanting to take me and my son to dinner... etc. I just kept declining. I was nice about it and still talked to him as friends only... but declined on his offers and didn't tell him why. He still didn't know about A. So, he was starting to change before he even knew A was in the picture.

 

Then A and I started hanging out and actually started dating. As soon as P found out, he came to me the next day and cried ... he actually cried. This is a man that never cries or shows his feelings/emotions. I mean, it was hard for him to even tell me that he loved me after being together for over a year. He cried and was shaking. He told me that he screwed up big time and that he had taken the NC time to "get his head out of his *ss". He told me that he felt as if his eyes and heart had been opened and that he was able to feel again.. and love. (** That comment freaked me out a little bit because when we were back and forth at the end, everyday on the way to school, my little boy and i would say a quick prayer for the day... I would pray that God would open P's eyes and heart... so that he could Feel and so that he could Love... P never knew about this... Then he said those exact words to me!) He told me that I am the woman that he loves with all of his heart.. I am his future. He wants to marry me and start on a family. etc. etc. He told me that he had no clue about me talking to someone else and that he wished he would have told me all of this when he first started waking up and realizing it... before i was dating A. It was crazy. He started sending flowers at work every week. He actually came in one day and left a card on my desk. That was the first card he had ever given to me!

 

Anyways... I love P so much, but I think it's being scared of the past that has kept me this long. And A is a good guy. There are some things about A that turn me off, but you'll find that in anyone. Do I see a future with A? Honestly, sure.. I could see us married with another child... but I don't beleive i would be happy like I should be. Do I see a future with P? Yes. His family is more "family-oriented". P and I do/did I mean... alot more things together as a couple than A and I do. P took more time for me and time for life to be enjoyed... rather than jumping from one event to the next keeping himself occupied.

 

I don't know. I used to have my head straight ... then after going thru everything with my ex husband and feeling as if I lost my family, it's been hard. My ex hubby put me thru hell in the end, which was totally unexpected from him. Now it seems like i'm always indecisive and my head and emotions are all over the place.

 

All i know is that i miss my "family life" and want someone to love/and love me to start/spend it with. Is that asking too much?