dolphinna Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 It has been four month now since I have been seeing a man. When we first meet we would send a few days during the week and friday nite I would stay with him then leave late saturday due to I had to work. We use to be closer like hugging lots and excided to see me. He now has class that he take on monday and wensday,so I dont get to see him but he dosent call me until thursday mabe until friday, but we get together on friday and he stays the nite here or I go there. I am worried that it may stop. everything seems fine when we are together, but it worrys me that something maybe wrong, do I ask him or just let it be and see what happens. I have been on here before and I have took alot or your advice but I cant seem to get this out of my head. I have falling enlove with him and it has been so long since I have open my heart to anyone. what do I do! Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 Take a class of your own or make plans so you aren't sitting around thinking about this so much! A question... Are you exclusive? (Have you had "the talk"?) Is Friday a "standing date" between the two of you? If not, you should not be agreeing to go out with him on Friday if he calls on Friday to ask. What's going to happen if he doesn't call one Friday because he made plans with his friends? You are going to be sitting at home, miserable. Last minute plans are fine on occasion, but they shouldn't be happening all the time, at least IMO. Doesn't it make you kind of feel like you are a last resort option? Seeing someone once a week after four months isn't anything to get too panicky about if you still feel things are moving forward. It's normal for a relationship to slow down a bit after the initial honeymoon phase/pursuit phase. However, if you are only talking to him on Thursday or Friday and spending the night together Friday, this sounds highly like a booty call to me. Do you have any idea how he feels about you? How does he treat you? I don't suggest bringing it up. Don't tell him you love him! I do suggest getting busy with your own life. Don't be so available. Don't be needy. Don't always work around his schedule. Pull back slightly and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 You should be happy that he has this class. Think of it this way, he is preparing for your future together. Let him better himself so he can take care of you better at a later time. It will all pay off. School is VERY important. Just remember not to feel bad about seeing him because he is trying to better himself. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author dolphinna Posted June 13, 2002 Author Share Posted June 13, 2002 Thank you again, I have been doing what you have said and to your question about the talk no we havent I am not sure were I stand in that I know that I am only dating him. It has been along time for the both of since we seen anyone he has the same background as I do someone that was specail in our lifes cheated on us and I took about a year and half off from seeing anyone els and its been about two years for him. and you said about fridays it sounds like a booty call, but only sometimes we are having sex. he just holds me and kisses me. and as far as his classes goes its divierson he got a dui in jan but he doenst drink hardey ever it was just a mistake he was comming home from a party this all happen when I didnt know him. should I have the talk and if so how do I bring it up. thanks again you guys have been a big help to me. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 I wouldn't suggest bringing it up yet, although others may disagree with me. In my experience, it's better to wait for the guy to bring it up. He will when he's ready. If you bring it up before then, he may start to feel pressured, even if that isn't your intent. However, if this continues to go on over the next month or two and you are no longer comfortable, it's fine to ask him what is going on between the two of you, provided his actions seem to indicate that things are moving forward in his mind. Watch his actions carefully. But KEEP THE CONVERSATION SHORT. Like five minutes long. Don't pour your heart out or talk to him about it for hours. Don't tell him you love him. Just say you wanted to make sure you were on the same page. If you don't get the answer you want, don't cry and get angry with him. Just smile and say "Okay." At least then you'll know what's going on with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 I take back my last post then... and as far as his classes goes its divierson he got a dui in jan but he doenst drink hardey ever Link to post Share on other sites
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