noforgiveness Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 From the moment I found out he was married, it was a struggle to remove myself from the affair. It wasn't easy and I am sad to say that it didn't happen in a day. He was quite seductive and charismatic. In fact, it was the hardest thing I had ever done but my head was telling me that this was suicide to my life and heart. Incredibly, the thought of him sharing himself with his wife AND me is what prompted me to leave him forever. I just couldn't share. And that is what he wanted, I think. His life and me. A true cakeman. Not my style. And, as I exited this short affair, he knew exactly how I felt. I left no stone unturned. He is a colossal prick who hurt two women and many, many children in the process. And had he been honest in the beginning, I would not be here today. He wouldn't have stood a chance with me had he told me he was married. A master deceiver who thought only of what HE wanted. To hell with his family and mine. Not the type of man that I would ever want to be with. Integrity is a biggie for me and he lacked it completely. And I saw that. So my head won, blessedly. And fortunately, I have recovered, for the most part. But, for a brief time, I was the OW. Not a title I am proud of, but a title I held, nevertheless. That was a really nice heartfelt post. Thank you for posting it. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine falling for someone only to find out it's all been a lie.
noforgiveness Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I would never ask him to come before his kids..Im not selfish...As for his wife. Yes i call him when i need him, No i dont call him at any HOUR because i am an independent person. He is here for me. He has soon that. And he has coming running to me.....ITS HIS KIDS....EVEN WHEN THIS IS ALL SAID AND DONE...I WILL NEVER ASK TO BE BUT BEFORE THEM , when they NEED their father. as long as you believe that that's what matters.
Freedom Now Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 It was heartbreaking. I thought he was "The One." My kids loved him and I sure did too. But, it was all a lie. Devastating. I understand the pain the BS feels. It hurts to be lied to. To trust someone implicitly and then have the rug swept out from under your feet. It is hard to regain your footing and recover. Damaging, damaging, damaging. And for my head, it was a no brainer. I had to get out. I had no other option even though he struggled to keep me in his life. And it took cruelty and strong words on my part to get him to leave me alone for good. But, he deserved it. I would like to think that I spoke on behalf of myself AND his wife. He needed to hear what he had done and UNDERSTAND that you do not play with people's lives. I hate that any of us women must suffer through this pain. For me, the end of the pain is very near. For others, they are still struggling through it. My heart goes out to women and men on both sides of the triangle. No one wins in these situations...except for perhaps the wayward spouses.... It sucks.
noforgiveness Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I can not believe he played this charade with your kids too. Didyour kids find out why you broke up? Did his wife find out?
Freedom Now Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I can not believe he played this charade with your kids too. Didyour kids find out why you broke up? Did his wife find out? Oh yes, my kids were involved in this mess too. He treated them fabulously. As he did with me. Like I said, he was "The One...." Dashing, charming, romantic, wealthy, seductive. The works. Actually, he was a real piece of work. I didn't see it coming. Stupid, I know, but I wasn't looking. He called all hours of the day and night and weekends. We traveled together. He sent me flowers, gifts, all kinds of that stuff. And my kids saw it all. Every flower, gift, card, everything. They were heartsick as was I. Yes, his wife found out about me. He lied about me, of course. We had dinner a few times and kissed on the cheek according to him. So, he not only lied to me, he denied my true existence in his life. And I didn't tell her differently. Why would I? What good what have come from hurting her? Wasn't my pain enough? Why drag her into this garbage situation? According to him, their marriage was struggling last time we spoke. THAT I can believe. Yet, he still tried to get me to travel with him in spite of the fact that we have not seen each other's faces in months. And I walked away months ago. He was tenacious, that man. But, I stopped him dead in his tracks. He will never see me, speak to me, call me, text me, email me, or darken my doorstep ever again. But, yes, my kids knew and she knows. No one got out of this one unscathed.
noforgiveness Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 men suck. I really don't know what to say about that. That is truly heartbreaking.
Freedom Now Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I cried buckets over this man. But, I am a fighter. And I am strong. He did not destroy me. This situation humbled me, but it did not vanquish me. I am here to fight another day. And I would like to think that I went down swinging. And I have faith in men in general. I must believe that there are still some good ones left. To believe otherwise would make me feel so hopeless. And hopeless is not something I want to equate with myself. But thank you for your understanding. This is why I bristle so with certain comments geared towards the OW. Not every story is cut and dried. And very few OW are the evil, maneating b*tches that some think. We are everywhere. And we are nice people. But thank you again. I appreciate the support. It means alot to me.
frannie Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 I think she was trying to get us all into a tizzy (is that how you spell it?). But it sounds like this guys got it made. With all the hickeys he's getting neither the wife or the OW will know which is which. lol
Recommended Posts