Giver Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 I have made the decision to go NC with my ex so that I can move on -- he is seeing someone else and being friends with him is too hard for me at the moment as I still have strong feelings for him. I was just wondering how this usually operates? Do I tell him what's going on and that I don't want him to contact me? I am meeting up with him in a few days to give him some of his things that I still have and hang out. I was thinking of having a nice afternoon (sort of a goodbye) and then telling him about needing to go NC for a few months. Does this sound like the right way to go about things?
FallenTree Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 I think this sounds like a good idea. I think talking about it first with him is smart instead of just suddenly (what may seem to him like ignoring) ignoring him without telling your intentions of NC. Or maybe I'm just being too nice, but that is what I did.
D-Lish Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 I have made the decision to go NC with my ex so that I can move on -- he is seeing someone else and being friends with him is too hard for me at the moment as I still have strong feelings for him. I was just wondering how this usually operates? Do I tell him what's going on and that I don't want him to contact me? I am meeting up with him in a few days to give him some of his things that I still have and hang out. I was thinking of having a nice afternoon (sort of a goodbye) and then telling him about needing to go NC for a few months. Does this sound like the right way to go about things? Nope. He is seeing someone else... and you guys aren't together anymore. Spending an afternoon together doesn't sound like a great idea. in fact, it will probably set you back. Did you feel you didn't get closure? Or do you see this meeting as a means to a reconciliation? If you need closure, exchange the stuff, say what you need to say and get out of there. Why spend the afternoon together? It won't be like old times.
Author Giver Posted November 29, 2006 Author Posted November 29, 2006 You're right, spending the afternoon there isn't a good idea. It's hard, because I don't want to give him up or let go but I know I have to. We still enjoy hanging out with each other, I feel like he dosen't want to fully let me go either......it's confusing. I'm just having a hard time with it.
D-Lish Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 You're right, spending the afternoon there isn't a good idea. It's hard, because I don't want to give him up or let go but I know I have to. We still enjoy hanging out with each other, I feel like he dosen't want to fully let me go either......it's confusing. I'm just having a hard time with it. I think it would be a good idea under different circumstances. But if he's seeing someone else and you still love him, it's going to make it impossible for you to be friends. A friendship can only work when both parties are not in love with each other anymore. Being "friendly" and having a friendship are different. I think it's okay to be friendly... I think that is in fact rather classy. I'm just giving you my input based on experience with this. I tried to be friends with an ex I still loved... and it only made me more miserable and inhibited me from moving on. On the other hand, I'm still good friends with an ex and see him on a regular basis. But our friendship only came after being apart for a year.... after we had both worked through our feelings. Get some closure though, that's pretty important. The hanging out idea...that may make you feel worse. Saying a heartfelt good-bye is important. Drawing out your good-bye is only going to keep fueling the pain. Good luck, and let us know how your meeting goes. D
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