He Broke up with me a week ago - by e-mail

[Still_Crying]

Mind you, this was a strong relationship. He did have anger issues and got upset fast, but the longest he didn't answer my call for was 4 days

 

here is what happened

 

We had a great relatiohship, long distance, but saw each other for 5 days every month, spoke every day like 3 times a day. He would call me as soon as he woke up. His Family were great to me and my family love him. He gets angry fast and does show some Bipolar tendacies. I was patient and was always there for him and sweet to him, calm him down when he gets pissy over little things or get moody.

 

He also had a very low sex drive which is common in depressed men, and I still stayed. I love him. One night in August, he told me it was over because I wanted to stay with him for 2 more days. He said I was with him for 3 days and he needs space. I wanted to know, how much more space does one need in a long distance relationship? He got mad and told me to f off, angry as ever. I was crying like a baby and he showed no emotion [bipolar he must be for sure] and i went out that night with an Ex, he picked me up from my family's house since Mr Man said it was over.

 

We just had a drink and chat, nothing intimate or even came close. He was always nice to me, just weren't compatableand ended with a good note. I told Mr Man the day after when I contacted him. He was furious and didn;t answer my calls for 3 days. We made up and here and there he brought up my ex. Childish behaviours and claim he will beat-uo the guy if he sees him. Last monday, we had a petty fight.

 

He started to yell, ''who are you to talk to me, you went out with a man you use to f*$k'' and was mad. Intense mroe like it, out of the blue. I called him back and said please, I do not want to fight about this if you are going to talk about something that happened months ago and something that we got over. I was innocent and apologize for the upset it cause him then and again...

 

This was my break up e-mail I got on wednesday

 

i have not listened to any of your 30+ messages nor am i willing to entertain a

telephone conversation with you, it is obvious to me that we're incompatible and

since you believe that your actions with (ex's name) are not bad

 

i will not entertain discussion from a woman demanding more of me than she did

some bitch she use to **** (and runs back to talk as soon as I say it's over)

 

the only reason i'm sending this e-mail is for you to get it that i no longer

wish to see you, listen to you, hear from you and for you not to contact me

 

goodbye and best wishes for your future

 

do not ever contact me again

 

I called him and have been all week, crying, sent e-mails - he hasn't answered his phone once... it rings and rings... a week before this, everything was great... he goes up and down.. this is the worst so far. I got my grandma to leave a message for him, he never called even with that...

I am dieing inside, I even went to tell him I feel like killing myself and that I will - to end the pain... I know it's crazy, but just as the end of a beautiful came as a shock - i am in shock too.

 

I came across this site and read this board. My friends keep saying the same thing and I know they are right - I just have to make that step to control myself and realize that this might be a blessing in disguise. If he love me or care for me, his will call me when he snaps out of his rage. If he doesn't, I want to be left behind with some sanity.

 

I am happy I read these posts. I will not call him again, until he calls me. His method alone for breaking up should make him feel ashame. He knows I am weak and crying, he knows I care... I just want to see how cold he can get. Then if he decides to come back when behaviour shifts, he better pray I didn't move on.

 

I will not call him, e-mail nor text... he is miles away, good chance for me to get over him... I'll still cry

 

ps - look at the reason he said we are incompatable... irrational man ending a 1.4yrs relationship

 

I haven't called him or contacted him in any form for 24 hours now. I plan to be strong and continue NC to get over him

[shawn_68]

I haven't called him or contacted him in any form for 24 hours now. I plan to be strong and continue NC to get over him

 

Still Crying,

 

Just know that you certainly deserve better than this guy. If I were you I would never contact this person ever again.

 

Hopefully very soon he will be nothing but a distant memory. And you will be moving on to a much better place.

 

Continue to be strong.

[D-Lish]

SC,

 

You're making a lot of contradictory statements in your post.

On one hand, you are saying everything was beautfiful.... but in the next sentence you're talking about his bouts of rage and days of silence.

 

You yourself are able to articulate both the good and the bad parts about your relationship. I suspect that if you take a good hard look at this person and his behaviour, that you will see that he is troubled, even cruel.

 

The e-mail he sent to you is pretty brutal. It sounds like it's meant to punish you. Please be aware that people also punish with silence, and by witholding. He knows you best, and he said what he said in the e-mail to hurt you....on purpose. How do you feel about that? Knowing someone has said something to you in a deliberate attempt to crush your spirit?

 

I don't doubt that you love this guy. But from an outsider's perspective... the relationship sounded broken to begin with. Mainly because of his issues.

 

I almost want to tell you to keep contacting him, keep begging and pleading... because that would push him further away from you~ and it sounds like that would be best for your well being. Unfortunately, if you go into NC, this person will most likely come back. When he thinks he can't control you anymore, that you are moving on...that you are capable of living your life without him, he'll return.

 

Emotionless, depressed, low sex drive, rage issues. Think about it. Is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? I hope you don't believe the answer to that question is "yes".

 

We shouldn't expect our partners to be perfect- but the behaviour you listed is more than being imperfect. I suspect from your words that you are a nurturing person, that you see a potential in this guy that you want to bring forth. But, sometimes love and rejection blinds us to the truth of who our exes truly are.

 

I hope that during this break, you come to the conclusion that you deserve better.

 

Good luck,

D

[hollywood24]

He treated you like sh*t in the end. I stopped reading after his break-up 'email". That is all I needed to see. He doesn't deserve you. You can find a better man. Trust me.

[IpAncA]

Sorry to hear about what happend but he did say that he doesn't want you to contact him so contacting him after he says it isn't going to mend things. He made it quite clear in that e-mail that he doesn't want you to contact him. You still have it in your head that he does. Why?

 

It seems that you both were not compatable and I believe that there is someone else out there who is and will treat you the way you should be treated.

 

I'm sorry that your hurt but this but please try to see that this wasn't a good relationship to begin with. You want something better than this don't you? I know I would as I'm sure others do too.

[Still_Crying]

SC,

 

You're making a lot of contradictory statements in your post.

On one hand, you are saying everything was beautfiful.... but in the next sentence you're talking about his bouts of rage and days of silence.

 

You yourself are able to articulate both the good and the bad parts about your relationship. I suspect that if you take a good hard look at this person and his behaviour, that you will see that he is troubled, even cruel.

 

The e-mail he sent to you is pretty brutal. It sounds like it's meant to punish you. Please be aware that people also punish with silence, and by witholding. He knows you best, and he said what he said in the e-mail to hurt you....on purpose. How do you feel about that? Knowing someone has said something to you in a deliberate attempt to crush your spirit?

 

I don't doubt that you love this guy. But from an outsider's perspective... the relationship sounded broken to begin with. Mainly because of his issues.

 

I almost want to tell you to keep contacting him, keep begging and pleading... because that would push him further away from you~ and it sounds like that would be best for your well being. Unfortunately, if you go into NC, this person will most likely come back. When he thinks he can't control you anymore, that you are moving on...that you are capable of living your life without him, he'll return.

 

Emotionless, depressed, low sex drive, rage issues. Think about it. Is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? I hope you don't believe the answer to that question is "yes".

 

We shouldn't expect our partners to be perfect- but the behaviour you listed is more than being imperfect. I suspect from your words that you are a nurturing person, that you see a potential in this guy that you want to bring forth. But, sometimes love and rejection blinds us to the truth of who our exes truly are.

 

I hope that during this break, you come to the conclusion that you deserve better.

 

Good luck,

D

 

 

you are so right...

 

I am patient and him and I enjoyed the same things, arts, music, travelling, science. When it was good, it was good. I do suspect he is trying to punish me but being so callous, cold, cruel in that e-mail. It worked, because I have sincere feelings in this, I see a man that exist without the anger, a lil more sane under the beast that sent me the e-mail. What I am beginning to realize is that the man and the beast are one. I woke up this morning and felt great, I do not feel like calling and I plan to go out this weekend and meet new people have lots of chats and drinks without him in my life . It still hurts and sometimes My heart crys, silently, I gt quiet and walk slower than usual cause my life is different and I do feel a loss,,, I know deep down inside that it's a loss I will be thankful for, I just need to battle with myself to come to that realization NOW.

 

Thanks everyone for your feed-back you couldn't be more right, and thanks for the song JLK.

[magichands]

I woke up this morning and felt great, I do not feel like calling and I plan to go out this weekend and meet new people have lots of chats and drinks without him in my life .

What a difference a day makes... this is great news. Keep up the good spirits.

[memorex1970]

Hi SC

 

Your post was quite moving to say the least.

I know you feel you have moved on a little as you stated in your last post but please dont put yourself through this anymore,this guy is not for you and its a shame it went on for as long as it did.

It doesnt matter how he ended it the fact is that he did end it.

You have tried to ammend things but take this from an outsiders view...this will never work out.

Say you guys got back together, its inevitable that the same will happen again and you will be in the same low and desparately unhappy situation again.

As others have stated the relationship seemed flawed from the start so why would you want to hear from him again?

Im at a NC stage at the moment too and to be honest Im heartbroken but I KNOW I will move on and move on soon, my relationship only lasted 3 months but I feel my life has stopped at the moment after 2 weeks of NC, I changed my number so she wouldnt contact me and that was a real hard thing to do...all I can say to you is continue the NC indefinately so you can move on and meet someone who is just right for you...its hard now but in the VERY near future you will feel great again...without this destructive relationship.

 

Take care

 

Nick x

[Spinderella]

Everything D-Lish said. What a great post.

Glad to hear that you are feeling a little better. It will take a while, but, you really are better off without this.