waitingforlove Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 Hi everyone, I am just wondering if my current situation sounds okay to you. I just started going out with this guy; he's been really wonderful and sweet to me. There's a little "problem" though -- I don't kiss. I know this might sound a bit too crazy to some of you, but I've promised myself when I was a teenager that I would like to save all my kisses for one man -- my husband, so until I know whom I'm marrying, I don't want to kiss or to receive kiss on my lips, let alone sex. Well, this guy has been very respectful to me. He would only give me kisses on my face or cheek, and he said he wouldn't try to change what I believe in, so he wouldn't push me into kissing (or anything more than that). Before we started going out, though, he did say one time that he thought that people should live together before marriage, and I told him that I wouldn't mind others doing that, but I myself wouldn't do it. He said, "really?" Then he didn't comment on it. Soon after, we started going out. Anyway, he's saying that we're having fun now, and we'll just see what happens. In the meantime, I'm wondering if our "fundamental difference" might get in the way. I sure hope not, but who knows? He does seem very patient and respectful to me, and he also said that sex was not the most important thing in a relationship. Do you think that he would break up with me because I wouldn't "satisfy" him physically? I don't intend to give up my belief, as I still hope that "the one for me" will be willing to wait till marriage. But I really like this guy now and don't want to get my heart broken later on if he breaks up with me for that reason .... What do you think? Thank you for your opinions in advance!
tanbark813 Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 There are maybe 1% of guys out there that will wait until marriage for sex. Waiting until marriage for even kissing seems a little extreme and there will be an even smaller percentage of guys that will go along with that. I'm not trying to tell you what to believe, but realistically speaking, in answer to your question: Do you think that he would break up with me because I wouldn't "satisfy" him physically? There's a good chance of that. I'm also guessing that this: he's saying that we're having fun now, and we'll just see what happens ..means that he's hoping to change your mind on the kissing and/or sex thing.
Star Gazer Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 I agree with Tanbark. I think your chances of finding a guy - outside of an arranged marriage - who is willing to wait until marriage to even KISS you on the lips is beyond extreme.
someone2 Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 Umm.. are you a muslim? I used to be a muslim for some time, and this is how we all do it (well... they). Where I come from, nobody kisses anybody before marriage So, you are not alone. But I don't think there are many people like this for no religious reason.
roxy_1980 Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 I may be wrong but.... It sounds to me like you've got a guy that's looking to bag a virgin. You say that the two of you have not been dating long. He is trying to ease you into things. This is why he is not pushing yet. Emphasis on YET. All of this is revealed in the living together before marriage comment. He cannot feel that way and be completely okay without any kissing. It just doesn't add up. As for the decision to not kiss in general, it will be very hard to maintain. Finding a guy that will propose without so much as a kiss is nearly mission impossible, so finding one that you find suitable is infinitely unlikely.
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