heartbroken1234 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Ok... So my ex and I have been apart for 7 months now. We broke up a while back because I was "distant"... 2 weeks after our break up she was with another guy to whom she's still with now. The first 6 months of us being apart I was a wreck, I was always calling her, texting her, stopping over, etc. All the while she's allowing all this, talking to me for hours upon hours, letting me hug and kiss on her, etc. After all that though, the past 4 weeks or so I have not contacted her at all... It's all been on her, she's been IM'ing me, texting me, calling, etc. I don't understand why she's doing this, she's still with the guy. She text me things like... " I know I'm difficult and lost, but please don't give up on me..." I mean, what the heck does that mean, she couldn't explain it when I asked... Each time she calls, she's basically already crying and then our whole convo consists of her crying and me just trying to calm her down and find out whats wrong. Well the other night, she asks to meet up and talk... I didn't think it was a good idea, but I gave in thinking she might actually have stuff to say and she was so hysterical and crying. So we meet up, and nothing at all is said. She really says nothing. " I don't know what to do..." "I'm so lost"... That is all I ever get outta her. So obviously I got upset and just said I was gonna leave if she had nothing to say which just made her lose it and cry, cry, cry.... I feel terrible. For 6 months, I was in the worst heart ache ever, and doing so good... Seeing her so sad and upset kills me though and basically now I'm set back to where I was because I can't get her off my mind. All the while, it's as if she isn't even thinking bout getting back w/ me when its obvious how unhappy she truly is. I don't know what to think or do, please help me out w/ some input. Later that night though, she called but nothing was said again. Also that night, she was talking to my close friend for like an hour, but still not really saying much of anything except for how confused and lost she was and how she didn't know what to do. She claims the guy "treats me well" which I understand, but its just so obvious she's not as happy as when we were together. WHAT SHOULD I DO OR THINK?!?! Should I just keep waiting for her to contact me and play it off like I'm ok? Just please gimme some input or advice. * I'm too nice at times I think, because I hate seeing her sad and truly just want her to be happy at this point...
BannaBee57 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 I think she was used to you calling and showing up all the time and now you're not, so it's upsetting her. She's afraid you're moving on and she thought you would always be on the back burner in case she wanted you back. Now that you aren't there anymore she's freaking out. She doesn't want to leave this new guy but she doesn't want to lose you as the back up either. That's why she's crying all the time but nothing ever gets resolved. I'd stop answering her calls and tell her that unless she has something important to say she needs to let you be. You can't handle all this crying because it's stressing you out. I know it sounds kind of harsh but you don't really owe her anything...she dumped you and is with someone else. Telling her this will get some results. Good luck!
Author heartbroken1234 Posted November 28, 2006 Author Posted November 28, 2006 Thanks for the advice. I know what ur saying. And I've said that before. I guess I just need to say it again and really try hard to let it go... She just hurts me when I see her sad... Even tho its all her fault and she could dump him and be with me, it hurts to see her cry..
Sylky Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 You're in a similar situation to me. I have been on a break with my boyfriend for 2 months and now we have broken up because there is someone else on the scene. We only broke up a week ago. We spent the whole weekend together acting as 'friends' and I could see that he is so lost. As much as I want to keep seeing him because I love him I have cut contact with him because it's confusing me so much and it's not fair on me. I say this to you coming from the same situation, she is not 100% sure on you because if she was she would be with you (as would my ex would be with me). You and I both deserve someone that is 110% on us and you don't deserve to be with someone who can't give you their whole heart and she can't. As much as it kills you, you have to back off and let her figure out what she wants and by seeing you that's not going to help. That's what I thought if he sees me then he will realise, but you have to be away for them to realise..
Krying Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 In relationships, woman crying to their men is one of the most powerful tools they have to control you and get you to do what they want. If you were in a relationship with her, then this would be semi-normal, but you're not. Your still a BF but not really, but kinda. Time to move on from this. If you were in hell for 6months, then don't go back there. Go NC, and she'll either come back to you or she won't. Stop letting her control you and have power over you.
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