BigStress Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 I had an incident with a very good friend which is ruining my life, and the stress is making me sick. I have been single for over a year. I was dating a few girls at the time, but was not in a committed relationship. My friend "B" was trying to set me up with different people she knew. One night she called me to come to a party to meet a girl. I went to the party and the girl was with soemone else. We had a few drinks together and laughed, and I spoke to her fiancee as well. By the end of the night we were both very intoxicated. She began telling me that she was not happy with her fiancee and wanted to leave him. I was supportive of her and told her that she should think things over. Apparently we held hands briefly and people saw this. We went to a party with others afterwards. We did not kiss, hug or have any further physical contact. She brought up the possiblity of us seeing each other. I said I might be interested but asked how she could stand the fallout of the cancelled engagement. She said she did not care, she wanted to leave him. I made the mistake of asking her to come over and she said no. The week after we spoke. She said she was going to break up with her fiancee. I told her not to. She said that they were still in love and that was not enough. She felt that she was more a mother than a girlfriend. She admitted she was not ready for marriage. She stated that this had nothing to do with me. They did break up. He spoke afterwards and she wanted to know if I was interested. I said that I thought very highly of her but I oculd not do it. I did not want to be hated and that the pressure would keep any relationship from working. I told her I just knew it would not work and that I did not want either of us to get hurt. She said she understood, but now she said she was in love with me! Since then things have gone South. She has harassed the mother of my child bugging her to "be friends with me" and said malicious things to her, that "B" is the woman meant for me and that I said I loved her. This is a lie. My sons mom and i have been broken up for three years but she obviously did not appreciate this and started to relook at our custody agreement. As well she began asking out my son's mom's boyfriend! Her ex-fiancee hates me and he and his family give me dirty looks. this is a small town and I see them often. People here are talking about me calling me a homewrecker etc. I can't eat or sleep and I feel like hell. 2 months has passed and things are still bad. I know it was wrong if we did hold hands and I am wrog for asking her to come over, but how bad should I actually feel and how do I deal with this situation? Help!
pureinheart Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Hey Bigstress, My suggestion would be to lay low, you can't win this one, people are people and if they don't know who you are now, they never will. This girl is a spoiled rotton little brat that didn't get her way and is now retaliating. When people like this enter my life in this manor and have nothing better to do than to create havoc and chaos, I ask God to keep them busy with other things because obviously they are board or something. Sometimes not saying a word in defense of yourself says more than you can imagine, it's not allowing yourself to become consumed with games from others. Things will work out, I feel it...more so than not these things have a tendency to backfire in the face of the one who created it to begin with....
Jane Doe Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 You need to steer clear of her and remain that way. She's trouble with a capital T. As for what everyone is saying, that will die down as soon as there's something new on the horizon to gossip about. Say nothing. The more you feed the fire the more it'll burn. Just keep your head up high and ignore the gossipers. Trust me, this will blow over if you ignore B. and ignore the rumors.
Author BigStress Posted November 29, 2006 Author Posted November 29, 2006 For your kind words and support. I can't wait until this nightmare is over.
puddleofmud Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Don't let yourself be shot down like this! Take heart that you are just a sweet guy with an open ear and this person did not respect the value of of what you offered. Continue to be what and who you are and don't let this discourage you from being a lovely, kind, open-hearted person. You have no need to prove yourself to anyone! You already did that by not becoming involved other than offer your shoulder and some realistic advice. Integrity may often be questioned through out life; so get a back bone and know that yours is unquestionable!!!! You are most wise and that is to respected. Sooner or later the truth will come out on its own, so stay calm and continue to go out in public and have a wonderful time!!!!
GreenEyedLady Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 How are you a homewrecker? She wasn't even married...And she's asking out your son's mom's boyfriend? Why hasn't that got out? I don't know, sometimes the best defense is a good offense...maybe you should leak some of the stuff she's been doing...
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