Why do I let him do this?

[ShoeGirl]

I have been doing pretty well for the last week or so... I have had a few bad times but I have been a lot better than I was a month ago. I haven't talked to him much, just once on the phone on Sunday for a few minutes (I had to drive over the mountains with lots of snow and he called freaking out after he saw the news and a car like mine completely smashed, I didn't answer and he left a message... so I called him back long enough to tell him it wasn't me and that I was back in my apartment safely).

 

Tonight I am on my computer doing some homework and I get an instant message from him. There is a setting were you can make the message window a winter scene and you can throw snowballs at one another, in the previous years we have always had virtual snowball fights... corny I know but it was always fun and flirtatious, it always made me laugh and I loved it. I get this virtual snowball thrown at me, and I got this rush of emotions, emotions that I haven't felt in over a month... all over a stupid snowball. I start smiling and laughing (like I always did) for about 5 seconds until I realize that the person on the other end of this is the guy who turned my world upside down, who hurt me more than anyone else in my life.

 

I just realized that today is exactly one month since he broke up with me. Now I am a complete mess all over again... Why? I was doing so good at not thinking about him, it didn't even phase me talking to him yesterday for those 4-5 minutes.

 

I just wish I could make all of these emotions go away. Why is it that when I finally start feeling better he goes and does this? Not that he knew that throwing that snowball would do that to me.

 

I just want to have my life back again, I want to go back to being the independent, hard working girl that I have always been, and I can't be any of that when I am so messed up with what he has done.

[magichands]

I just want to have my life back again, I want to go back to being the independent, hard working girl that I have always been, and I can't be any of that when I am so messed up with what he has done.

You've been snowballed!!!!

 

It happens to the best of us. Dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. It's just a snowball. No need to retreat - don't give the snowball any credit.

 

I'm picturing myself now. There's a barrage of snowballs, and I'm taking them all on my soft pink body. But I won't let them stop me.

 

Cue Sir Elton John's I'm Still Standing.

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[Pyro]

I have been doing pretty well for the last week or so... I have had a few bad times but I have been a lot better than I was a month ago. I haven't talked to him much, just once on the phone on Sunday for a few minutes (I had to drive over the mountains with lots of snow and he called freaking out after he saw the news and a car like mine completely smashed, I didn't answer and he left a message... so I called him back long enough to tell him it wasn't me and that I was back in my apartment safely).

 

Tonight I am on my computer doing some homework and I get an instant message from him. There is a setting were you can make the message window a winter scene and you can throw snowballs at one another, in the previous years we have always had virtual snowball fights... corny I know but it was always fun and flirtatious, it always made me laugh and I loved it. I get this virtual snowball thrown at me, and I got this rush of emotions, emotions that I haven't felt in over a month... all over a stupid snowball. I start smiling and laughing (like I always did) for about 5 seconds until I realize that the person on the other end of this is the guy who turned my world upside down, who hurt me more than anyone else in my life.

 

I just realized that today is exactly one month since he broke up with me. Now I am a complete mess all over again... Why? I was doing so good at not thinking about him, it didn't even phase me talking to him yesterday for those 4-5 minutes.

 

I just wish I could make all of these emotions go away. Why is it that when I finally start feeling better he goes and does this? Not that he knew that throwing that snowball would do that to me.

 

I just want to have my life back again, I want to go back to being the independent, hard working girl that I have always been, and I can't be any of that when I am so messed up with what he has done.

 

You need to have total NC with this guy. A month is not long enough to get over someone that you truly loved. I know its hard, you just need to resist to communicate with him in any way. Time is what will make the emotions go away and put you back to where you were.

[ShoeGirl]

Magichands-

How did I know you would be the first to respond? You are always there when I get upset, thanks!

 

I was snowballed... I will be fine but it just sucks right now, I didn't think I was going to feel those emotions again, but he took me by surprise, when I can brace myself for talking to him I can handle it, but apparently not when he throws snowballs!

[ShoeGirl]

You need to have total NC with this guy. A month is not long enough to get over someone that you truly loved. I know its hard, you just need to resist to communicate with him in any way. Time is what will make the emotions go away and put you back to where you were.

 

I have been doing NC for the last 10 days or so... with the exception of the phone call yesterday... I felt bad making him worry that I was in the car on the news, I called told him it was not my car and that I was home safely and that was it. I know that is not NC but I didn't have any other way to let him know that I was safe.

 

After the snowball message tonight I made myself invisible to him on messenger, I hadn't thought of it because he hadn't tried talking to me on there until today. I have no intention of talking to him anytime soon, but I can't control him sending me messages on myspace, if he does I am not planning on responding to him.

[Pyro]

I have been doing NC for the last 10 days or so... with the exception of the phone call yesterday... I felt bad making him worry that I was in the car on the news, I called told him it was not my car and that I was home safely and that was it. I know that is not NC but I didn't have any other way to let him know that I was safe.

 

After the snowball message tonight I made myself invisible to him on messenger, I hadn't thought of it because he hadn't tried talking to me on there until today. I have no intention of talking to him anytime soon, but I can't control him sending me messages on myspace, if he does I am not planning on responding to him.

 

Thats cool that you let him know that you were ok, just as long as you got off the phone immediately after.

 

Making yourself invisible is a good start. Do whatever you can to prevent him from contacting you. It will make it a little easier on you to get over him.

[Trialbyfire]

You let him get to you, regardless if he had any intent, because you still care about him. Becoming whole again is hard. No matter what you do, he will still have had some impact on your life which will hopefully become just a fond memory in the future. Good luck.

[ShoeGirl]

Thats cool that you let him know that you were ok, just as long as you got off the phone immediately after.

 

Making yourself invisible is a good start. Do whatever you can to prevent him from contacting you. It will make it a little easier on you to get over him.

 

Thanks for your support Riddler.

 

You let him get to you, regardless if he had any intent, because you still care about him. Becoming whole again is hard. No matter what you do, he will still have had some impact on your life which will hopefully become just a fond memory in the future. Good luck.

 

I have been so good at not letting him get to me, but this time he did. I hate that he still has an impact on me, I wish I could get over him already and move on with my life, but he turned everything upside down for me. I guess it will take more time, but how much more?

[magichands]

No matter what you do, he will still have had some impact on your life which

Is this a snowball pun?!

[ShoeGirl]

Is this a snowball pun?!

 

I didn't catch that until now... At least now I am laughing at the snowball part! Thanks for making me feel better, laughter is the best medicine sometimes!

[Trialbyfire]

The pink elephant FTW, lol. Funny guy.

[pureinheart]

Hey Shoegirl.....wow, sorry about all of this..... ....those little reminders are killers aren't they....but hey the next time that happens embrace it, embrace the pain then let it go....

 

There were times the pain inside me was so great that it felt like my heart was gonna burst....Does that happen to you? If it does just sit there quietly and take a deep breath and let the pain flow out of your heart....as God as my witness I could feel the pain leaving.

 

Change hurts, and the broken heart is about changes in current circumstances....talk to yourself and tell yourself that it is important to come into acceptance of this change (I ask God to cause me to accept the change) ....come into an acceptance of the way things are.

 

Here's a quote from a book that really helped me(Choices) "It's not always a person or a thing we're letting go of. Sometimes letting go of our ideas about how things should be, how they feel, and what's coming next is what we need to do to go into the unknown."

 

You take care ......(((((((((((((Shoegirl)))))))))))))

[ShoeGirl]

Hey Shoegirl.....wow, sorry about all of this..... ....those little reminders are killers aren't they....but hey the next time that happens embrace it, embrace the pain then let it go....

 

There were times the pain inside me was so great that it felt like my heart was gonna burst....Does that happen to you? If it does just sit there quietly and take a deep breath and let the pain flow out of your heart....as God as my witness I could feel the pain leaving.

 

Change hurts, and the broken heart is about changes in current circumstances....talk to yourself and tell yourself that it is important to come into acceptance of this change (I ask God to cause me to accept the change) ....come into an acceptance of the way things are.

 

Here's a quote from a book that really helped me(Choices) "It's not always a person or a thing we're letting go of. Sometimes letting go of our ideas about how things should be, how they feel, and what's coming next is what we need to do to go into the unknown."

 

You take care ......(((((((((((((Shoegirl)))))))))))))

 

Pureinheart-

I do feel like my heart is going to burst... I hate it. I am getting pretty good at not letting it last long, but when it hits I feel like I could just collapse.

 

I am going to write down that quote... thanks!

 

Thanks for the support, it helps me so much!