NoIDidn't Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Saw this on another site and wanted to post here for convos. Are You Addicted? Listed below are several signs of addiction. Consider whether they apply to you: 1. Even though you know the relationship is bad for you (and perhaps others have told you this), you take no effective steps to end it. 2. You give yourself reasons for staying in the relationship that are not really accurate or that are not strong enough to counteract the harmful aspects of the relationship. 3. When you think about ending the relationship, you feel terrible anxiety and fear which make you cling to it even more. 4. When you take steps to end the relationship, you suffer painful withdrawal symptoms, including physical discomfort, that is only relieved by reestablishing contact. If most of these signs apply to you, you are probably in an addictive relationship and have lost the capacity to direct your own life. To move toward recovery, your first steps must be to recognize that you are "hooked" and then try to understand the basis of your addiction. In this way, you gain the perspective to determine whether, in reality, the relationship can be improved or whether you need to leave it.
Marielle Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Yes, I am...wow, I feel better now. Now seriously, I do not know at all how to resolve this after recognizing it. What kind of steps, in order to feel less anxiety and start accepting what is bad for me?
puddleofmud Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 That really helped me as I am fearing that I may become addicted to "thoughts" about the (past) relationship and these do apply to my thoughts!
Guest Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 i would rather have that than plain of white bread [with peanut butter and jam]. seriously, love effects everyone in unique ways. all i know is that love is strange. hear are some words she wrote: you asked me why this morning when your eyes opened to see i was still there beside u when i could have ben free you told me to not be so stupid this is where i want to be you should know the answer it didn't mean that much to me its different in the inside its better in the inside the way we were we'll be again don't be frightened its ok in the end she told me not to be so reactive just close your eyes and see the words u said so loudly fell safely all around me its different in the inside its better in the inside the way we were we'll be again don't be frightened its ok in the end NOW! HOW CAN TO NOT LOVE THAT MAN!
Pyro Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Saw this on another site and wanted to post here for convos. Are You Addicted? Listed below are several signs of addiction. Consider whether they apply to you: 1. Even though you know the relationship is bad for you (and perhaps others have told you this), you take no effective steps to end it. 2. You give yourself reasons for staying in the relationship that are not really accurate or that are not strong enough to counteract the harmful aspects of the relationship. 3. When you think about ending the relationship, you feel terrible anxiety and fear which make you cling to it even more. 4. When you take steps to end the relationship, you suffer painful withdrawal symptoms, including physical discomfort, that is only relieved by reestablishing contact. If most of these signs apply to you, you are probably in an addictive relationship and have lost the capacity to direct your own life. To move toward recovery, your first steps must be to recognize that you are "hooked" and then try to understand the basis of your addiction. In this way, you gain the perspective to determine whether, in reality, the relationship can be improved or whether you need to leave it. I was in one of those many years ago. It was one of the hardest and painful lessons that I learned in life, but I don't regret going through it.
oyster Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Thank you for posting, I referred a friend to these word of wisdom. Wake up time for her. Gave it a 5 rating:p
Author NoIDidn't Posted November 28, 2006 Author Posted November 28, 2006 I was in one of those many years ago. It was one of the hardest and painful lessons that I learned in life, but I don't regret going through it. Me too! Several. But I was so young and didn't know any better. And you are so right, it was one of the hardest and most painful lessons I had to KEEP relearning until I finally got it. But I think I got it now. These are the most unhealthy to me, because you just keep going back for more - practically destroying yourself in the process. The stories I could tell....
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Lovestruck should come read this thread. I think at some point, everybody goes through an unhealthy relationship but most learn from it and find out what NOT to do in the future. Yuck!! Just thinking back to when I was my late teens, the crap I put up with, all for good sex! LOL the stupid thing is, that's all it was! Just took me a long time to realize that and get the hell out!
Pyro Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Me too! Several. But I was so young and didn't know any better. And you are so right, it was one of the hardest and most painful lessons I had to KEEP relearning until I finally got it. But I think I got it now. These are the most unhealthy to me, because you just keep going back for more - practically destroying yourself in the process. The stories I could tell.... We should sit down with a couple cold one's and share our stories with each other. I bet that we both have some interesting stories.
Author NoIDidn't Posted November 28, 2006 Author Posted November 28, 2006 We should sit down with a couple cold one's and share our stories with each other. I bet that we both have some interesting stories. As long as you don't mind that my cold ones are virgin drinks, I'm in. Whichway, you sound like me. The stuff I put up with just for sex. Truly shocking now that some years and maturity have set in.
BUTAFLY Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 . The stuff I put up with just for sex. Truly shocking now that some years and maturity have set in. It was never about the sex with me (His penis is half the size of a roll of tums) It truly was about the man .
Pyro Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 As long as you don't mind that my cold ones are virgin drinks, I'm in. Whichway, you sound like me. The stuff I put up with just for sex. Truly shocking now that some years and maturity have set in. Whatever works for you, but after hearing some of my horror stories, you may want some alcohol.
whichwayisup Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 Whichway, you sound like me. The stuff I put up with just for sex. Truly shocking now that some years and maturity have set in. Really eh? Thinking of him now actually makes me feel sick. His penis is half the size of a roll of tums Roll of tums!!
Author NoIDidn't Posted December 1, 2006 Author Posted December 1, 2006 Whatever works for you, but after hearing some of my horror stories, you may want some alcohol. You might be right. Been sick for a couple of days, anything would feel better than this. Buta - don't think I could stay with a roll of tums Whichway - it was for more than sex, but that is the way we rationalize things sometimes when we aren't getting what we really want.
BUTAFLY Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Buta - don't think I could stay with a roll of tums I know...sad isn't it. I was REALLY disappointed when I first saw it. sidenote on addiction...I love the song by kelly Clarkson-Addicted..That discribes how i feel about him.
Guest Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Roll of tums??! Too funny! My MM a long time ago was very small- made me believe him that I was only person besides his wife he'd ever been with. I'll never know the truth to that. Then I dated a SG that was wonderful but very, very small and he actually said to me once "I'll never cheat"- It was all I could do not to choke from laughter at that one, thinking bet I know why......then a few seconds later.....I think, well that didn't stop MM. And now to read it here too!!! Okay.....this is pointless.....but it cracked me up....
puddleofmud Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 I think its a little bit about we are "taught" about "love". As in love may be above rational thought and about uncontrollable, thrilling, heart pounding, heated, passionate... need I go further! Anyone may fall in love! It happens all the time. But "living happily ever after" is another issue. Fairy tales don't go any further to tell us about how the Prince and Princess deal w/ their lives. How the prince is unfairly rude to a waiter in a restaurant, if the princess buys too many shoes and doesn't care about paying the rent or if the mother in law continues to interfere. I suppose it depends upon what one values. If one values ONLY these extreme feelings than one would not be suited to "happily ever after". Love is easy; reality is messy. Addiction to thrills is easy; reality is messy. Ironically, addiction at some point forces one to face reality. Being that addiction does not lead to what one may actually seek but allows one to AVOID. One cannot avoid for eternity. Maturity comes slowly and we have all been immature at some time or another. I am now questioning what values I seek in another and what I will accept in a potential lover and how the heck to successfully negotiate the on-slaught of feelings that "love" brings. ???? I can only hope that I will do a better job--but who knows?
Recommended Posts