forgotten1 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 I just gave in. I called her after 2 wks. I've been doing so well. I was doing great for a week and a half, but when I talked to her over the holiday, it messed me up. I just called her. She was busy with a paper for school and said she'd call me back in an hour....thats all thats happened and I'm sitting here shaking. I don't know what to expect, but for some reason I think I need this call. Either it will end up with us meeting face to face (were ldr) or it will be the LAST time I try. I've already felt the pain of it being totally over, so this can't make me any worse than that. Cross your fingers for me guys. I miss this girl like nothing else. I'm just hoping whatever happens will be for the better.... I'll update after I talk to her. I guess I'll be your guinea pig for a situation of broken NC....
Author forgotten1 Posted November 28, 2006 Author Posted November 28, 2006 ok...so....Let me reccomend something to you guys. Don't call your ex after 2 weeks of no contact. My situation may be different than yours, but overall, most will end up feeling the way I do now. I feel like crap. I felt so strong before. I should have kept going. I guess I know what I have to do....move on. I knew this already, but for some reason I had to put myself in check again. I can't say I'm back at square one. I just feel alot more sad than I did before I called her. Its like I opened up the lines of communication that I once controlled. We both agreed that when she is done for the semester that maybe we can meet up. There are no guarantees to this happening though. Inside I feel this sense of hope, and I DON'T want to feel that. I want to feel like its over. I'm afraid that now I am going to obsess about meeting her. Well, I know that I won't be calling her for awhile if ever. The other thing is, I also know she won't be calling me. I had that hope there before because I was playing the no contact game. Now I know for sure that I am on my own. Maybe thats a good thing. Who knows...this sucks though. I know that for sure...
hollywood24 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 I don't mean to be harsh, but that was a very bad idea to call her. If you keep calling her, how is she ever going to miss you? You reminded her that she is in full control.
D-Lish Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 ok...so....Let me reccomend something to you guys. Don't call your ex after 2 weeks of no contact. My situation may be different than yours, but overall, most will end up feeling the way I do now. I feel like crap. I felt so strong before. I should have kept going. I guess I know what I have to do....move on. I knew this already, but for some reason I had to put myself in check again. I can't say I'm back at square one. I just feel alot more sad than I did before I called her. Its like I opened up the lines of communication that I once controlled. We both agreed that when she is done for the semester that maybe we can meet up. There are no guarantees to this happening though. Inside I feel this sense of hope, and I DON'T want to feel that. I want to feel like its over. I'm afraid that now I am going to obsess about meeting her. Well, I know that I won't be calling her for awhile if ever. The other thing is, I also know she won't be calling me. I had that hope there before because I was playing the no contact game. Now I know for sure that I am on my own. Maybe thats a good thing. Who knows...this sucks though. I know that for sure... Awww, it's just a setback. And a small one at that. Two weeks isn't long to be in NC. You need more like two months to have any impact if it's going to happen.
hollywood24 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Awww, it's just a setback. And a small one at that. Two weeks isn't long to be in NC. You need more like two months to have any impact if it's going to happen. I agree. Definitley not the end. But it IS a set back. You HAVE to chill, because if and when you do talk to her down the road, you have to at least be able make it look like you are over it and don't care one way or the other.
Author forgotten1 Posted November 28, 2006 Author Posted November 28, 2006 I don't mean to be harsh, but that was a very bad idea to call her. If you keep calling her, how is she ever going to miss you? You reminded her that she is in full control. This is the first time I've called at all. She texted me once which I ignored, and she called me on thanksgiving which I ignored then called her back about 30 mins later. I won't be calling her again... D-lish, thanks. I'm just going to get back to me again. Like you said its just a minor setback. I was so clear before, its just that talking to her on thanksgiving brought back so many feelings. I'm off on my own again, and even though I felt I had let go before, Its time to let go even more....
hollywood24 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Wouldn't let me edit the other post :\ You can't do that until you are content with it being over for now, and trying to start again later because that's all it is sadly . But just because it's over for now doesn't mean she still doesn't have feelings for you so don't get all worked up on me . But really, you need to let her have time to think, and most importantly, miss you. Because if she ever loved you, she will. It's all about regaining control. And it is easier said than done, trust me, I know this :\
Author forgotten1 Posted November 28, 2006 Author Posted November 28, 2006 I hear ya. It sucks. I felt like I was on top of it before. Now its like we have this mutual thing where neither of us is going to call the other. I guess I dont regret it but I don't think it was the right thing to do. Tomorrow is another day. tomorrow I'm not going to obsess about calling her like I did today. I'm probably going to hang out with this girl I've been talking to. I'm going to get back to ME again. I'm starting to think that my relationship was more of an obsession. I've never been through this before. I was in a 6 yr relationship that had a very hard ending, but this one was only 6 months. I don't know what I'm hanging onto. Maybe its not even there..... For those people that have been in short relationships like mine (6 months), does it still take a couple months to bring you to your senses, or is this just in longer relationships?
hollywood24 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 I hear ya. It sucks. I felt like I was on top of it before. Now its like we have this mutual thing where neither of us is going to call the other. I guess I dont regret it but I don't think it was the right thing to do. Tomorrow is another day. tomorrow I'm not going to obsess about calling her like I did today. I'm probably going to hang out with this girl I've been talking to. I'm going to get back to ME again. I'm starting to think that my relationship was more of an obsession. I've never been through this before. I was in a 6 yr relationship that had a very hard ending, but this one was only 6 months. I don't know what I'm hanging onto. Maybe its not even there..... For those people that have been in short relationships like mine (6 months), does it still take a couple months to bring you to your senses, or is this just in longer relationships? Yeah, that sucks. And there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do to make it better but wait. Because if you call, it only makes it worse, or sets you back.
D-Lish Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 For those people that have been in short relationships like mine (6 months), does it still take a couple months to bring you to your senses, or is this just in longer relationships? In my experience, short relationships can hurt just as much as long term ones. I think that's because it's in the early months when your endorphins peak in a relationship. The early stages are all about lust, when all the passion is happening. So, the lust-passion stage is where all the feelings of love are generated. To be cut off during that time can be very painful. Grieving has no time limit. It's up to you to do the healing necessary to get past this. And the sooner you're focused on moving forward, the better. You can either actively participate in your grief, or you can actively participate in recovery. You just need to figure out what the best course of action is for you.... because we all grieve and heal differently. What works for me, may not work for you and vice-versa. I wish you the best! D
Author forgotten1 Posted November 28, 2006 Author Posted November 28, 2006 Thanks for the replys... After waking up this morning I just have a bad taste in my mouth. I'm disappointed in myself for calling her. It did me in, it set things back, it just made things worse. I feel like I want to contact her again to apologize for what I did last night. I know that would be stupid. I have to close off contact again, even though I know she probably won't call. I have to blow her off if she does though. I know what talking to her makes me feel like. Thanksgiving was bad, but last night made it much worse. I just hope I REALLY start feeling better soon. I wish I could take that call back more than anything. I should probably stop beating myself up and go to work, but damn this hurts. Especially when I thought I was over it. I've never felt so weak in my life to anyone before, and I've been through some great long term relationships. This sucks...
theadventure50120 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 ok...so....Let me reccomend something to you guys. Don't call your ex after 2 weeks of no contact. Could have told you that 3weeks ago. When i did it , i was NC for 3weeks...now i'm back again at 3weeks but i'm never phoning her again
Author forgotten1 Posted November 29, 2006 Author Posted November 29, 2006 yeah thats exactly where I'm at right now. Hopefully this site should be free of the bulk of my complaining since I have nothing else to do now but face the rest of my life. I just have to remember what I felt like before we broke up. I definetely don't miss waking up with my stomach turning worried about where she was etc. I had that feeling for over a month. I don't think I've ever felt so free in my life before, but I almost don't know what to do with it. Before her I just partied my ass off, met alot of girls and none of them turned out to be anything of importance to me. I don't really want to go back to that though. I want to find a real woman, someone ready for commitment who I don't have to question every step she takes. My ex was awesome, but simply too young. She was 22, I'm 30. Shes in playtime and I'm ready to settle down. Blahblahblah....I could write a book on what I've been through. Most of us could. After last night and today (yeah we talked a bit today too) I don't want her back. I shouldn't have to sell myself to someone, and I felt like I had to to keep her around.
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