Guest Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Just had to post a "praise report". I ended things with MM last week. Hardest thing ever, not the first time, but I strongly believe it is the last time. Well, guess what? I don't think God has given up on me yet, because for the first time my son started texting me all the time- took MMs place and it's what my soul has been longing for anyway with a year of a rocky road with my son. Just had to share this! So, anyone else had "miracles" that have helped them through NC? Might just give someone the strength to end their nightmare and start living again without the loneliness of a MM that is never there on holidays anyway......
Jane Doe Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Congratulations to you!! Now you can fill an unhealthy void (MM) with a healthy void and hopefully have a healthier and stronger relationship with your son.
kymberann Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Glad you brought this up! I have a 14 year old daughter who has actually seen the crap and crying I have gone through. She has even told me while I was still seeing MM that she didn't want me to get hurt and she knew I was going to. SHe was right! Well, during that time we weren't particulary close but when the MM left she was there. She is so mature and already wise to the sh**t the world can throw at you. Anyway, on weekends when she is either with her father or with friends right after the "break up" she would call and ask how I was doing and if I needed her to be with me. THrough this we have grown closer. She is even the one telling me that I don't need a relationship such as this, that I am a much better person than to be controlled by a mm and his crap. Anyway she has started coming to the gym with me more frequently. I am a runner. The xMM and I were running and biking and swimming partners. We were either at my house or at the gym or riding or something. SO today as I ran and got my 4 miles in she was right there with me keepng me company. She has been the best! I know it's quit odd to say but this whole relationship with this MM even though painful and nott he healthiest set of circumstances has been a learning experience for her as well. Anyway, it has brought us closer. Today she was even reading several of the posts us OW contribute to and she started to get angry and wanted to talk about why men cheat. It was a healthy discussion. It was also an oppertunity for me to address my responsibility in the whole "affair". Yep, I am accountable too. Believe me I swallowed hard when I admitted to my part. Great post! Can't wait to hear more!
Chapter2 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Guest, I am so happy for you. That truly is a blessing and proof of God's grace. Kymberann, I know exactly what you mean. While my daughter didn't know anything about the MM, she definitely knew that mommy was not "okay". She saw the tears, the mood swings, you name it. She saw her mom pretty much check out at times due to all the emotional bombing that took place. My poor decision affected her as well and I regret that terribly. We are definitely in healing mode as I'm still picking up the pieces. I guess a blessing of NC for me is no contact=no new pain, no contact=stability, no contact=self respect and dignity. Great thread!
Catharsis Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Good for you! I got over "MM" as soon as I found out what a lying SOB he is, so I don't exactly grieve over him. I can now fully focus on my H and son, plus I have enrolled in college to pursue a career in nursing. Productive use of my energy.
puddleofmud Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 My sons are supposedly grown men, one with two children and the other at college graduating this year and they had the same reaction! Persons considering this kind of thing may wish to understand that the result does reach far and ever so wide. I now feel as if I must re-earn their trust which is not the way it is supposed to be with a parent as an authority/ example. I am so angry about that with myself and it will take a loooong time to over come that one! Best wishes to both or you!
pureinheart Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 I am so glad you shared this guest....and it would be great if you would continue to tell the praise reports....oh I love to see them!..... Yep I do have a praise report also....my daughter was in a destructive relationship (it was real bad) for about 4 yrs....I was in destructive R w/mm 2 yrs....during this 2 yrs I knew my daughter would never get out of hers and stay out till I did. Finally the real process started of NC about 3 mo ago, and like I knew my daughter followed suit. We have most of the same personality types....happy, caring, ect.... miserable people target people like us and then literally suck the very life out. Both of us will be careful in the future....God did it!
pureinheart Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 My sons are supposedly grown men, one with two children and the other at college graduating this year and they had the same reaction! Persons considering this kind of thing may wish to understand that the result does reach far and ever so wide. I now feel as if I must re-earn their trust which is not the way it is supposed to be with a parent as an authority/ example. I am so angry about that with myself and it will take a loooong time to over come that one! Best wishes to both or you! How true puddle! You know my kids, especially my son, would just say, well there she goes again! I have been in some interesting situations. I know your sons love you and respect you, nothing you do can ever take that away...I don't know your story w/them, if you raised them alone or not, but deep down they understand. I had the awesome responsibility of turning all the generational garbage around, my mother did not want this task. I remember asking God one day in one of my complaining fits, "why me", and He said, "why not you". I shut up. Though getting myself into many messes, still the desire was for the future generations to be better, and it is happening. Even in all of the selfishness, the areas that counted the most were selflessness. Puddle, sure we make mistakes, but the thing our kids are really watching is how we handle the aftermath....they will mess up too, but they want to know how to get out....you have shown them courage that will be priceless for their future!
Meaplus3 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Just had to post a "praise report". I ended things with MM last week. Hardest thing ever, not the first time, but I strongly believe it is the last time. Well, guess what? I don't think God has given up on me yet, because for the first time my son started texting me all the time- took MMs place and it's what my soul has been longing for anyway with a year of a rocky road with my son. Just had to share this! So, anyone else had "miracles" that have helped them through NC? Might just give someone the strength to end their nightmare and start living again without the loneliness of a MM that is never there on holidays anyway...... Guest, This is great news! You are very strong to be able to do it! Keep up the good work and it will be work I know all to well. Enjoy your son I am sure he loves you so much and need's you. Stay Strong, because you CAN! AP:)
Guest Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 Guest, This is great news! You are very strong to be able to do it! Keep up the good work and it will be work I know all to well. Enjoy your son I am sure he loves you so much and need's you. Stay Strong, because you CAN! AP:) Thank you all! And I am now on day 10 with all emails blocked to avoid all temptation. It's still too much in my thoughts, but that will get better. My son has started calling too as soon as he gets out of school. He doesn't know the cause of all my mood swings, but he does know that mommy hurts. He's a teenager and went to live with dad last year- because he was such a good kid I believed our love bond could survive the change- but it has been a rocky adjustment, more for me than anyone else. MM came along when i was vulnerable, i believed it was love but in looking back and starting to forward our email exchanges to friends for analyzation i was able to see the truth- it was very one-sided from the "love" standpoint b/c his self-centeredness just shone through all his responses. Oh, didn't mean to get into that, but must have needed to say it. Admit it to help me heal. I just want to say again HOW GOOD IT IS TO HAVE MY SON BACK IN HIS INITIATED CONTACT!!! I smiled when I read all of your stories about that rebonding time with your children as they saw your pain, I am sad to know that like you, my kids have hurt more because of MM's part in my life and my mood swings wiht it. Thanks for sharing- it's good not to be alone!! Again, I AM SO HAPPY TO BE TALKING TO MY SON MORE!!!
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