My story...

[memorex1970]

Hello all,

 

new to all this so bear with me!

 

I met a 31 year old single mother in August this year and we stayed together until 2 weeks ago, so just a shade under 3 months.

We met through a dating website and after a couple of emails and fantastic phone calls we decided to meet.

I knew even before we met that we would hit it off as it was all so perfect on the phone and we both felt like we had known each other for ages.

Anyway, I took the drive down to see her,she lives 50 miles from me and we met at her house which I thought was trusting and a little brave considering she didnt know me!

We went out and had a fantastic night and got on and got close very quickly.

The only downside to the evening was that she pointed out a bloke who she had recently dated for a short time and told me that he had sent her a text saying she was crap in bed,yea I really needed to know that!

Still it didnt ruin the night.

We went back to hers and the inevatable happened and we slept together.

The next day was great,she cooked Sunday roast for me and then I met her 9 year old daughter, in fact I didnt go home for 3 days!

Everything was going just right, I knew it was a little fast but if you like someone I thought what the hell.

Anyway, to cut a long story short we got very close very quickly and after a couple of weeks she told me she loved me, I was a bit wary but told her the same and I did mean it when I said it.

I probably saw her about 5 times a week, it was quite difficult at times as I had to travel back and forth to work which was quite tiring but I did make a big effort to see her.

After a month or so together we started to have quite a few silly arguments which resulted in me walking out quite a few times but always coming back a few hours later, to me I knew these were warning signs as at that point we had only been together a month.

Anyway, she was having problems with her drug addict neighbour and I was having problems living where I was living so foolishly I asked her to consider maybe getting a place together, she was overjoyed, told her Id made her dream come true ect ect.

I think I may have just said it on the spare of the moment because I started to regret it almost straight away...but I did love this girl big time.

I told her maybe we should just consider putting on hold the moving in thing as we had only been with each other 6 weeks at this point,I assured her I was not backing off and loved her very very much,I was saying all this to protect her and her daughter,I mean she would have to give up everything and move 50 miles to a place she doesnt know.I did assure her that once we got to know each other more and had less of the stupid arguments then we indeed move in together.

This is where the relationship went downhill bigtime, she said I had shattered her dream and really hurt her by not wanting to move in, I did want to move in but not so soon and besides we had been arguing just a little bit too much, I just couldnt make her understand this.

Well,things went from bad to worse with her neighbour,her car was vandalised and she was assaulted by this person.

I then advised her to give up the place she was renting and move in with her parents and she did just that.

What didnt help was that I was determined to get on the property ladder and get myself a decent apartment and so pursued this and managed to land myself a place which I will be moving into shortly.

She basically told me she wanted nothing to do with the place as it was never going to be 'ours' and that I had gone and done everything without her.I tried to include her in the viewings ect but she caused problems with that and told me I was rubbing her nose in it.

This woman only had a part time job so never wouldve been able to properly contribute to the mortgage.

Basically our relationship from this point was like a roller coaster, up and down, one minute we had a future and she would want to move in with me when I got the keys to the property then when we had a fall out she wouldnt.

She then found out my mother and sister had viewed this place before she had even seen it and this made her turn real nasty,she then told me she would NEVER have anything to do with the flat and that she would never stay there with me,I asked her why we was even together after her saying that!

 

In the three months we was together we must have split up 4 or 5 times over this moving in situation, each time I thought it was truley over and deep down hoped it would be over only for her to bombard me with text messages and phone calls telling me it was my loss and she could easily meet someone else as she was a nice looking woman ect,then after she'd calmed down she would be all nice begging me to get back together and in the end I always would.

Another problem we had was when she had been drinking the Vodka, one night whilst we was out with her friend she got totally drunk and thought it would be funny to engage in a full on kiss with her mate in front of me and everyone else, I felt so small.

She was also nasty and irrational after a drink only to be totally beside herself with guilt the next morning.

She got so drunk one night she said she couldnt remember sleeping with me...nice

On another occasion she had bee drinking she sent a text saying she no longer felt that she loved me only for her to tell me she didnt mean it the next morning when she had sobered up:mad:

She was also becoming very distant with me and our sex life was zero,she even told me she had no sex drive anymore,not good after less than 3 months!

The last straw came when Id arranged to go on a stag night with my mates to Holland, it was only for the night and I was to be away less than 24 hours.She begged me not to go and said that its me and her that should be going and that she wanted me to cancel the trip...I even stayed with her the night before and went straight round on my return.

Well when I was just about to board the plane I gave her a call and she told me that she didnt get excited about seeing me anymore, I thought this was a nice thing to say just as I was about to get on a plane.

I then gave her a call from Holland and she seemed ok, she told me that a bouncer(door security)that she knows from a local bar had delivered a washing machine to her ,this had been arranged in front of me and I had met this bloke,he was getting it for her really cheap.She told me he was still there having a coffee which didnt bother me,what bothered me that 4 hours later when I rang he was still there having a curry with her...I feel this was totally disrespectful as she had made it clear to me that she didnt want me keeping in contact with my female friends, this totally ruined my trip to Holland and in a way feel this was done to ruin my trip.

She made out that she was very sorry and told me that she would go mad if the shoe was on the other foot,she told that he said he felt awkward and would put my mind at rest when he next saw me.

When I got back I was feeling very sore about all this and told her I wasnt happy and that I was gonna back off and give us some space to which she said she needed the space...not a good answer!

We went to bed and it was really awkward and I felt totally unwanted as she was very cold and in the morning she was all laughing and joking and telling me that she never saw me smile anymore, couldnt she see I was hurt! I left her that morning, changed my number and left her a message by text telling her it was over,I couldnt tell her over the phone I just wanted to make it final and change my number so she couldnt contact me like she had done so many times before after a breakup.That was the last I ever contacted her and never heard from her again,she only knows my address.I even sent back a jacket she had got me for my birthday as it was too painful to keep.

In a way I guess I hoped she would get in contact with me like she had always done before but was a bit gutted that she hasnt,its been over 2 weeks now,I guess I made a big statement by changing my number.

I hurt so much when I was in this relationship and I always felt so insecure,she even told me that she had slept with over 70 blokes,why did she feel the need to tell me this!..why am I so pissed off and hurting now...I will move on but Im finding it so difficult.

I know its a long post but it helps putting it all down.

 

Thanks to all that read this.

 

Nick

[theadventure50120]

Your not dating a 31yr old , your dating a 10yr school girl. Sorry that's what she sounds like.

 

Don't think you know someone online within a couple of months , in chat rooms there pretty fake. They keep that act up for a while and then they change. People who i met online live near me 5mins or so walk. So that's why i meet them , my ex was online to...she was what i suspected until 5month in then she became this wierdo who cried all the time and got angry over stupid things.

 

I feel like telling people my ex talks to she is a fake online because she is knowing her now and how she acts online.

 

Moving in after 3month , or planning to? That's a bit quick huh? Do you reckon she just wants someone to provide for her and her kid?

[memorex1970]

Any more comments would be greatly received.

 

Nick