mbf5482 Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 About 2 months ago I went out and I got really drunk and I ended up bringing a girl home. We did not do anything but she slept in my bed and my girlfriend found out. needless to say she was really upset. We tried to work things out but she couldnt get over the it and it really hurt her. She is really worried I am going to hurt her again. I have been telling her I wont and I really wont. I love her very much and I want to make her happy. We have talked every day and even stayed with each other. She will say how she wants to be with me and she loves me and I feel the same way. Everything could be perfect one day then the next she would feel the hurt again and tell me I have to leave and to get out of her life. I would leave evernthough I did not want to. We would then talk and do it all over again. Well she starts her law school finals tomarrow and we got into another fight tonight. When I got home from her house I wrote her a email. I told her how much I love her and what she means to me but there is way to much hurt going on between us right now. I asked her to take these few weeks and figure out what she wants. i said its to hard having these ups and downs. I asked her not to call or email me till she know what she wants. I made it clear that I wanted to be with her but we cant go on fighting like this. She wrote me back saying that this was a good idea and it shows that I really love her because I want her to do well on her finals. She said she will call when she is ready. I told her not to call me unless she is willing to really give us another chance and forgive me. Do you think this was a good idea on my part? Do you think she will come back? What can I do durring this time to try and not think about her or contact her? Any advise would really help thanks
theadventure50120 Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 I think you did the right thing by letting her decide on what she wants to do , you know there is a problem and it's happening over and over again and it needs to be solved. But bringing a girl home from drinking? I understand why your gf would be hurt , you don't bring a girl home and let them sleep in the same bed as you if you have a gf. Was it a friend or some random stranger? If it was a stranger then that's bad.
Author mbf5482 Posted November 27, 2006 Author Posted November 27, 2006 Yeah I know and I understand why she is upset to. I would be very upset if I found out she did that with another guy. It was a girl I knew I wouldnt say we were friends but we knew each other. I really dont know how she ended up there but I do know we did not do anything
D-Lish Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Well, doesn't really matter who the girl was or how she got there, or whether or not anything happened. In your ex's head, I guarantee she's having a hard time believing nothing happened and she's wondering if she could ever trust you again, despite the fact that she loves you. That would be a deal breaker for me. I would walk away and never come back- no matter how much begging and pleading, no matter how much I loved the guy. I would never feel good about trusting him again. Yes, giving her space is the right thing to do. If you push too hard right now, she may either come back for the wrong reasons, and that would only lead to resentment on her part down the road... or you may push her further away. If you do get back together, you will have to work pretty hard to rebuild that trust again.
jon55 Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Well, doesn't really matter who the girl was or how she got there, or whether or not anything happened. In your ex's head, I guarantee she's having a hard time believing nothing happened and she's wondering if she could ever trust you again, despite the fact that she loves you. That would be a deal breaker for me. I would walk away and never come back- no matter how much begging and pleading, no matter how much I loved the guy. I would never feel good about trusting him again. Yes, giving her space is the right thing to do. If you push too hard right now, she may either come back for the wrong reasons, and that would only lead to resentment on her part down the road... or you may push her further away. If you do get back together, you will have to work pretty hard to rebuild that trust again. Bears repeating.
Trialbyfire Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 I think it was the right thing for you to do, to give her some space and yes, it can backfire. As they say, if you love it, set it free, etc.
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