emmaUK Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 i feel so bad for even thinking this let alone telling any one. when i was 16-17 my Dad moved away from the London area with his new wife and baby to Wales. i now have 2 younger half sisters & a very bossy controlling stepmum. they live in a big house in a valley in the middle of a forest. i go to see them 4 a few days about 2 or 3 times a year but i hate it so much and for days b4 i go i am so so stressed and by the time i leave i am even more stressed out. here is why...... my dads wife is very very bossy and controlling & she can only see situations how she would do something. she sais things liek "u havta stop doing blah blah liek blah blah" when it a way of doing something that i know and feel comfortable with. she tells me that i shouldnt do this or that with my daughter or i shuld be doing more of this n that. when i go 2 stay ... i have to do things her way and i find it very stressfull and frustrating and there is no point in even trying to say otherwise becuase she will not give in or shut up till u have given in.. also i find she makes me feel very humiliated by telling me off about things or laughing at the way i do things in front of other people. she is a very strong willed person and she makes me feel very intimidated and stupid when im normaly a quite outspoken person.. no other person does this 2 me. also... their house is f-ing freezing during the winter... it is so cold and i find it very hard to sleep and my daughter wakes up crying about 3 or 4 times becuase she is so cold. last year when i went.. it was warmer outside then it was inside. horrible. also... i have my routines and my set ways and alwyas tend to eat breakfast, lunch, go out etc at the same times every day it ssomething i have always done and like but they jsut cant understand it n keep telling me to break the habit and routine..... and they are very very different from me and do things totaly different and i find it very hard adjusting to the way they do things also... their hosue is one big danger zone for children my daughters age... and i havta constantly be behind my daughter watching her to make sure she doesnt touch anything or hurt herself.... if i ask my stepmum to watch my daughter like i a am going to have a shower then she ends up doing something else and getting my younger sisters (who are 9 and 6) to watch her and they get sidetracked and end up forgetting they are supposed to be watching her.. there was one time i felt something wasnt right so got out of the shower and caught my daughter in the other bathroom looking in the cleaning products cabinet. ao all in all.... i have a very very stressfull time when i am there... i do not get to sit down and relax for a minute they phones me out of the blue and they want me to go up there from this friday till sometimes in the week.... when i told my dad i will havta go back on tuesday becuase i have a dentist appointment on wednesday becuase my brace is being taken off .. he said "your making up excuses again". it wound me up sooooo much. but my daughter absolutley loves going there becuase they have a big trampoline in the garden and lots of toys etc etc and she has a big house and garden to run around.... i wish i could share her joy i have been down the hospital today becuase i have been having palpitations and chest pain for a while ... they did an ECG and told me i am highly stressed and prescribed beta blockers and told me to relax a little n take things easy. there is no way i can turn around and tell my dad that going to see them makes me stressed beyong beleif and i do not see it as a relaxing break at all. so what would you do in my situation.... would you just grin and bear it for 3-4 days becuase you know your daughter loves it????? im so angry n stressed about this all when im feeling pretty stressed about my life and other issues as it is. i know that in a few days time .. i have a very stressfull few days ahead of me when all i wanna do is take it easy. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH will need a straight jacket very soon
Author emmaUK Posted November 27, 2006 Author Posted November 27, 2006 ever since the phone convo with my dad... i have been feeling very very down n p***ed off. i dont wanna be feeling like this for the whole week up until i go there.... especially as i am going to view a new house tomorrow. i want to feel happy and excited about the prospects of moving but i cant get the stressfull weekend ahead out of my head now n i should imagine i will be ina a big mood until i am back home next week and i can get back to normality am i going over the top for feeling this stressed n annoyed about it
blind_otter Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 Just relax and take the beta blockers. No, you aren't a selfish witch. Sounds really stressful to me, too! Is there any way to limit the time you spend with them, as in, just stay a day or two and then leave? I limit my time with certain family members because of the stress.
Author emmaUK Posted November 27, 2006 Author Posted November 27, 2006 no i dont have a choice about the anount of time becuase its my dad or his wife that pick me up from wales (3 hour journey) and take me back and they kinda decide when they pick me up and take me back.
Author emmaUK Posted November 28, 2006 Author Posted November 28, 2006 OH GREAT!!!!!!!!! i was supposed to be going up there from fridat till tuesday... but they rang me up and said they can only pick me up 2moro....TOMOROW!!!!!!!!!! my dad said "well you are not doing anything else are you" and i tried to think of something quick but i couldnt ... i felt really pressured and bullied and i said "well no im not" so now im going there 2moro and i will be ther efor SIX WHOEL DAYS. the thought of that is making me feel very very stressed and depressed ... ive been walking round sulking all day long. i wish i could have thought if a good excuses not 2 go up there from 2moro.. i cant take it
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