speedy Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 I have a serious issue going on in my long term relationship that could change mine and others life’s forever. The back story to all of this is I have been with my bf for around 8 years since we were 13. The problem is that he used to hit me quiet a bit and he had other relationships while being with me. Over the years he says he never did anything with the other gfs but what’s the point in having them ... then? I do believe him to a certain point ... he doesn’t lie.... has quite strait forward. A little annoyingly honest at times and he admits that ha-ha... He has changed so much and I know he’s trying REALLY hard cause he loves me and he wants to make up for the past but I cant give up what happened..... He has recently been opening up to me WAY more and which is very good. Yet, the last time he was with another girl about a year ago (he has since promised there will never be any other girls.. ) I met someone else thou that I have been talking with a lot and I’m interested in. We have been hanging out and having a really good time together. My bf knows about this because I told him and it is someone he knows personally ... He hasn’t done anything insane like he would have in the past.... I even told him I made out with this guy twice and he said that it was ok because of things he has done in the past and that it was his fault. I really wanna be with this other guy but at the same time I really wanna fix my relationship with him but I haven’t been trying very hard... With the other guy getting all my attention and effecting my opinion where as he has been trying his ass off. Now I also feel that this new guy is possibly using my emotions and my fragile state to get to me and make me like him more cause he started all this when my bf was with the other girl. It seems like he might be using that as leverage to get into my pants but maybe he’s not..... I just don’t know the other things about this guy I am uncertain of … his use of narcotics he has smoked weed which he hasn’t done in over 6 months... And has he gotten high on cough syrup, and he knows I don’t like that.....That stuff is against my morals. My bf wont smoke drink or do any kind of drugs and I respect that so I mean I’m very confused... I can’t give up what happened in the past, but I am really trying to ...I know he is trying too... He has proved himself but I do wanna try this other relationship but I can’t cause my bf has completely shut down… He has quit his job …. He won’t eat… he wont do anything.... He just keeps going walking says he wants to die for everything he has done if we can’t fix our relationship. He’s really upset.... I care about him and I don’t want him to die ... But at the same time it makes me feel that he’s just using that to make me stay with him … I don’t even know if this other relationship would even work but I want to try ... sigh... This is why I am asking opinions I know I forgot to say some things ill add more when I think of it
Walk Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 This is not what you want to hear, but I really think that what you need is some independent time that's not with another man. You time. To explore and figure out who you are, and what you want in your life. Break it off with both guys. Find your own life. You're 21, and you've never been on your own. You've already got another lined up before you finished off the last relationship. Your post suggests that you lack self-worth, and lack confidence in your ability to make it on your own. You need those two aspects more than you need a new bf. And no man can give those to you.
Author speedy Posted November 27, 2006 Author Posted November 27, 2006 ya that is something in consideration but id like more opinions also
Guest Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 well i think this guy sounds like a jerk and u can probably do better. anyone who cheats on u will probably do it again. if he really did love u he would never want to be with anyone else but u. i agree that u should just be on ur own for awhile and see what its like. u need a chance to be 21 and have fun as a single girl. dont take that crap from any guy. i know its hard to let go of someone u've been with that long but he sounds like he's put u through hell and u deserve better. hope that helps!
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