What does this break up mean?

[The one who got away]

Ok...So I have been reading a lot of you guys threads and decided to add my own.Here goes I was with this man for eight years, we were engaged and things were going as planned. We had been living together for about five years now and bought a home together (but his name is the only one on the house) back to my story, last month my ex and I went to a movie. After the movie we decided to go to bed, that night I felt something was really wrong so I asked him why he wasn't inlove with me anymore. He said "I don't know" so I said well can you hold me tonight I am leaving in the morning.

The next morning I woke up packed around two bags of clothes and a few pics. to scare him alittle. Really thinking this was just a game. When he finally awoke I asked him "Do you love me?, What do you think about our relationship?, and Did he want me to leave?" His answers were " I don't know and I am confused." So after our discussion I said well if after eight years you don't know I need to leave and let you figure out what is going on.

Next thing you know that same night he was hanging out with my best friend. I had a gut feeling something weriod was going to happen. Two days later I call my best friend and ask her what is going on she tells me they have feelings for eachother.

Around a week later my ex calls and tells me there has been a misunderstanding that he was talking to my friend to figure out what i was thinking. So my ex and I decide we are going to try and work things out. On my birthday we go to a pastor to work through our problems. The pastor tells my ex that he needs to stay away from my friend until things cool down. My ex agrees and promises not to talk to her. The next day he starts acting as though he is not sure if we should get back together. So me being miss CIA i look at his phone records online and realize that as soon as he dropped me off he calls her. I confront him about it and he says that "God told him to do it". I said no way buddy do you think your going to pull me along on a string. So I said we just couldn't be together.

Last week I went to get my things from his home and told him I would be there around nine. He wasn't home and wouldn't even answer my phone calls. He changed the locks on the doors so I couldn't get in.

So recently for thanksgiving he decides he is going to see his family and will return on sunday. So a mutal friend of ours says to me "Hey I know your ex will not allow you to see your dogs and I have a key so let's go over there and see the dogs." I agree (take note this is two am in the morning on Sunday, he is returning sunday night) So we pull up to the house and he is home with someone elses car in the drive way no lights are on so we leave. Next morning I am sitting at church what do you know here comes my ex with his new found lover (we've haven't been together for a total of 2 and a half weeks) whom he meet on myspace. The most annoying part is that after we have lived in this home together for five years he brings some girl he has never met in person into the house and lets her spend the night. Not to metion but I currently live 2 blocks from where he lives and she spent the night with him last night as well. Here he is in church like I am getting right with God and he slaps me in the face in front of everyone. He even had the nerve to sit directly behind me with his new girl. Why would he be doing this? If it is to get to me and play a game why does it seem he really likes her and that she is all of a sudden moving in????? Oh like I was saying I am new to this thing and I was wonder what is NC (no contact) or some program? I like to think I was a great person and I would have never cheated on my ex. I don't want him back. I just want to feel like he wil realize he messed up and he will never have anyone ever again like me. I know this is ungodly to feel,yet I still feel it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[haliamm]

I know how hard it is to move on, but I don't think he's playing a game to get back at you, 8 years are no joke. You need to get in touch with yourself and really think about everything he's doing to you he really doesn't deserves you even thinking of him. I know it will be hard but with time it will happy, and don't expect him to realized that he lost a good thing with you because many times they are too blind to see that. You just need to be very strong live every day as a new accomplished and you will start feeling better about yourself.

[beby24]

I dont know what nc means either so I am curious to know.

 

As to your relationship. You seem like a good person and I know is hard, but you dont need a man that disrespects you like that. First of all he is not a man. You deserve better than that, and to mess with your friend, that was were it had to end the first time. I was given this book that I think is great if you can find it, get it. Its called loveshock, how to recover from a broken heart and love again, I think is been helping me a lot and guess who gave it to me the ex....my god, but at least its a good book the author is Dr. Gullo.

 

I am still going through it and its not easy, but try to find a diverter from the relationship, a new hobby...and dont think about someone that just gave away 8 yrs for nothing. He will regret it, mark my words and hopefully by then your strong enough to say, too late...I forgive you but I wont forget it.

[The one who got away]

Thank you for the advice...I just really want this whole break up thing to be over and done with!!!