Mrchi Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 My girl friend and I have been together now for 1 year 7 months. Yeah I know wha your saying...If after seven months were having troubles it isnt meant to be right. Yeah I here that from all my friends. Anyway I love her and thats all ther eis too it. Heres the problem. We live 170 miles away from eachother. Recently She has cheated on me. We keep doing the make up break up thing. During this time she gets drunk, gets ****ed, and comes back. I love this girl more than anything in this world, but the pain is overwhelming. I dont know what to do anymore. She always gives me a sob story about how she cant find what she has in me in the others and needs me. I havent sleapt in three days. Cant eat. All I've been doing is drinking and smoking cigarette after cigarette. She wants me to get out there to see her, but I really dont know. I'm so torn apart inside over all this I've lost my ability to make rational decisions. I know this isnt the way its supposed to be. She says she was wrong, and she'll change, but I've heard it all befor. All I want is for her and I to be together always without the distance, but too much has happend. She says when were together everything is as it should be. When were apart everything changes. That she needs the connection all the time. we just cant be in the same place right now. I cant afford to move out there with her. Too much is going on here at home. Even if I did were would that leave us with all that has happend. Tell me what you think...
onewish Posted November 28, 2006 Posted November 28, 2006 Even though you love this girl, but she cheated on you several times.. i think you should let it go.. Once a cheater is always a cheater.. If she loved you back then she wouldnt even cheat on you in the first place... but that's just my opinion.
Heavenseventeen Posted November 29, 2006 Posted November 29, 2006 The 170miles distance is NO excuse for cheating. What about people with partners in the army? Does that mean they can all cheat because their partners are away fighting wars in countries 1000s of miles away? You shouldn't be with someone who makes you hurt- she is supposed to make you happy. Plus she sounds clingy, and that's not what love is about. She needs to be stable and single before relying on others- it's not healthy. And you need to stop killing yourself by cutting out/down the cigarettes, go to sleep, eat and distract yourself. If she wanted to see you so badly, and can't be without you for a second, let HER get off her backside and come and see you!
luvr29 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Commitment. If you want your long-distance relationship to work, it is important that both of you agree on the level of commitment you expect from the relationship. If one of you sees the relationship as serious, committed and monogamous, while the other sees it is as a fun and flirty fling, then there are going to be problems down the road. It is important to make sure you are both on the same page and expect the same things from the relationship. Before throwing your heart and soul into a long-distance relationship, sit down with your partner and communicate openly and honestly about how each of you views the relationship, where you see it going and what you expect from one another. Agree on the ground rules. Making sure you are in agreement from the outset as to where your relationship is headed sets a firm foundation for the future and helps to avoid disappointment down the road. Communication. Communication is a key in any relationship, but in a long-distance relationship, regular communication is crucial. Set aside regular time to talk to one another on the telephone. Take advantage of lower evening and weekend telephone rates. Make sure your cell phone plan offers free long distance and sufficient free weekend and off-peak minutes. Burning up the long-distance telephone lines is one sure fire way to keep the passion alive when the two of you are apart. But today’s technology offers lots of other ways to communicate with your romantic partner. Flirt via e-mail. Enjoy an occasional night of passionate instant-messaging on the computer. Send each other cute, romantic (and often free) e-cards. And don’t forget the more traditional ways of communicating with a sweetheart who is far away. Revive the long lost art of letter writing and send your significant other a passionate love letter now and then. Pop a card in the mail on special occasions or for no reason at all. When you are not often able to communicate your feelings through touch, other forms of communication become even more important. The long-distance relationship is the place to let your imagination run wild and come up with creative ways of keeping the lines of communication open between the two of you. Honesty. Honesty is vital to every relationship. In a long-distance relationship, however, honesty has to be taken a step further. The longevity of a long-distance relationship depends a great deal on your ability to communicate honestly with one another about what you are feeling and to resolve issues that, if left to fester, might destroy your relationship. Do you always feel as if you are competing with the sports channel when you call your partner? Does your sweetheart seem to give her relationships with her girlfriends higher priority? If you want your romance to last, then you cannot ignore these feelings and allow resentment to take root in your relationship. Be honest with your partner about how you are feeling so that these issues can be addressed. For more great advice free: http://www.essortment.com/in/Lifestyles.Relationships/index.htm
sb129 Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Dude- your GF is selfish and obviously has self esteem issues otherwise she wouldn't "need" to cheat on you. These are HER problems, and sadly you can't do anything to fix those. If she really wanted to be with you and faithful to you the distance wouldn't matter. If you don't have trust in any relationship its doomed, but this is ESP true for LDRs. You can't spend your days worrying about when the next time is going to happen, its soul destroying and your health is going to suffer. And what if you moved out there to be with her and nothing changed? You would feel even worse with none of your family or friends around to support you. I know its hard, and it will feel like sh** for a while but you need to let her go. You WILL get over it I promise. There is more than one person out there for everyone its just a question of time and space....
Recommended Posts