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how to back out of a date


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Posted

My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. I contacted him once over the weekend just to chat, and now he's called me about wanting to get together to study. I did mention a study date first over the phone, but now I'm kind of wondering if it's such a good idea.

 

We'll both be stressed, and it will be a very constricted environment in which we can't have that much fun or talk. I don't want our first post-breakup date to be like that.

 

How do I back out without seeming flaky/ crazy?

Posted

you could tell him what you just told us about a study date making a crappy date and suggest something else. but most likely this date isn't about studying, it's about you two seeing each other. If you think that's a good idea I'd take the date, let studying be a lower priority to whatever happens between the two of you, and study another time if you need to.

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Posted

The thing is, I think it MIGHT be just about studying. He sounds pretty stressed with school and I am sure he will want to meet up at his apartment, where it would be easy for him to disappear into his computer. I brought up studying togehter first in a moment of weakness and I think he just doesn't want to back out, but honestly I think we need more time apart and to see each other in a more interactive environment if/when the right time comes.

 

If we do end up getting together to hang out, I want it to be fun. I don't want to talk about the relationship/ what went wrong and it seems that's all a fake study date would be good for.

 

On the other hand, I do want to see him at some point, and I don't want to come off as crazy/flaky.

Posted

Why not just study at the library... after the subject is done, go back home. It helps keep it studious.

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