Amour77 Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Hi, I have to say I am quite annoyed and pi**ed off. I was to take my girlfriend out for a surprise date, etc...It was quite a big occasion and she was aware of it. I had made a big effort to prepare in my head loads of things to do, etc...She had agreed on going on the date two days ago. She then confirmed it and she was really excited about it and was looking forward to it, was all nice and loving to me yesterday, and today, when we are supposed to go, when I phoned her to see what time we were to meet, she says that she is tired, she has a sore throat, has a spot on her face and has her periods, and cannot be bothered going....However, when I spoke to her, she was trying to find a place to have a coffee with her friend, and was basically out and about having a good time. I think this is simply rude and shows no respect at all. I had a restaurant table booked, flowers waiting for her, etc.... and I had to cancel everything. On top of that, she said that she would get in touch to let me know what she would eventually decide to do, and she never got back to me. I am really annoyed and just want to break up with her and forget about her. I think she is very selfish and immature about the whole thing... Am I over-reacting? or am I right to feel this way? What should I do?
Pyro Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Hi, I have to say I am quite annoyed and pi**ed off. I was to take my girlfriend out for a surprise date, etc...It was quite a big occasion and she was aware of it. I had made a big effort to prepare in my head loads of things to do, etc...She had agreed on going on the date two days ago. She then confirmed it and she was really excited about it and was looking forward to it, was all nice and loving to me yesterday, and today, when we are supposed to go, when I phoned her to see what time we were to meet, she says that she is tired, she has a sore throat, has a spot on her face and has her periods, and cannot be bothered going....However, when I spoke to her, she was trying to find a place to have a coffee with her friend, and was basically out and about having a good time. I think this is simply rude and shows no respect at all. I had a restaurant table booked, flowers waiting for her, etc.... and I had to cancel everything. On top of that, she said that she would get in touch to let me know what she would eventually decide to do, and she never got back to me. I am really annoyed and just want to break up with her and forget about her. I think she is very selfish and immature about the whole thing... Am I over-reacting? or am I right to feel this way? What should I do? How long have you two been together? That is very rude and inconsiderate. Talk to her and find out her reasoning behind this but you have all the right to be pissed.
Author Amour77 Posted November 26, 2006 Author Posted November 26, 2006 We have been together for just over a month and this date was quite important....
jjmac Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Hi, I have to say I am quite annoyed and pi**ed off. I was to take my girlfriend out for a surprise date, etc...It was quite a big occasion and she was aware of it. I had made a big effort to prepare in my head loads of things to do, etc...She had agreed on going on the date two days ago. She then confirmed it and she was really excited about it and was looking forward to it, was all nice and loving to me yesterday, and today, when we are supposed to go, when I phoned her to see what time we were to meet, she says that she is tired, she has a sore throat, has a spot on her face and has her periods, and cannot be bothered going....However, when I spoke to her, she was trying to find a place to have a coffee with her friend, and was basically out and about having a good time. I think this is simply rude and shows no respect at all. I had a restaurant table booked, flowers waiting for her, etc.... and I had to cancel everything. On top of that, she said that she would get in touch to let me know what she would eventually decide to do, and she never got back to me. I am really annoyed and just want to break up with her and forget about her. I think she is very selfish and immature about the whole thing... Am I over-reacting? or am I right to feel this way? What should I do? Sounds like somethings up... I'd talk to her about it first although it sounds like a situation where a, "confession," is in order.
Beee Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Amour 77, we meet again... I think you are right to feel hurt and pissed off, her actions were inconsiderate. Although I simpathise with you I want to give you a woman's perspective into things. By saying this, I am not difending her, just trying to maybe show you what might have caused her actions. I sometimes wake up and feel rubbish, I don't like the way I look and nothing looks good on me. Something I was wearing yesterday all of a sudden looks horrible on me. We try and look good for men (and hopefully men do the same) and try and impress them... we do not need to do this with other friends, especially if they are female ones. Maybe she felt unattractive and because this was a big date there was a lot of pressure (not by you, but just in general) to look and feel good... and if she felt quite the opposite of that its possible she just couldn't face the whole thing. I am not defending her.... just trying to show you how women sometimes think.
Pyro Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 We have been together for just over a month and this date was quite important.... Just a month? I hate to say this, but its a good chance that she has lost interest in you, or she does not take the relationship seriously. I would think that if she truly was into you, than she would not have made plans with other friends. I wouldn't invest too much of my heart in this girl.
Author Amour77 Posted November 26, 2006 Author Posted November 26, 2006 thank you bee, that is indeed an option..... Shall I wait for her to contact me? or shall I just send her a little note asking her how she is?
Author Amour77 Posted November 26, 2006 Author Posted November 26, 2006 Maybe she felt unattractive and because this was a big date there was a lot of pressure (not by you, but just in general) to look and feel good... and if she felt quite the opposite of that its possible she just couldn't face the whole thing. She did mention that she would feel like an idiot with her spot in a posh restaurant, with people looking good, etc....BUT when I told her to have a meal at home instead, and me saying that I really wanted to see her, she just had none of it.... So I guess she did not want to see me.
Beee Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 There is obviously something that is making her stay away... you need to find out whether its something personal to her (as in she doesn't feel good with herself and therefore will not feel good with others) or if its somthing to do with your relationship. I have been looking through the break-ups section... were you guys together for a long time and then broke up for a while? was this date important to you as you have recently gotten back together again? Give her some time and space (not too long obviously), just so you don't seem too needy (needy for answers that is) and then in a cool way approach the subject and try and find out what made her cancel the dinner and ask her to be honest...
Art_Critic Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Just a month? I hate to say this, but its a good chance that she has lost interest in you, Bingo......... At 1 month no date is really that important that it can't be broken.. yes it was rude of her to break it after confirming the date but it sounds to me that you are a bit clingy...This is going to kill the relationship... Maybe she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her.. when 2 people are not on the same page about their feelings for each other things like this happen.
Author Amour77 Posted November 26, 2006 Author Posted November 26, 2006 I don't think I am being clingy, but when you go through all this kind of effort and it is not even acknowledged and blankly ignored, I think I am entitled to be pi**ed off.... I can understand she was not feeling well or anything, but at least she could say something about it and not just ignore the whole thing....
Author Amour77 Posted November 26, 2006 Author Posted November 26, 2006 Give her some time and space (not too long obviously), just so you don't seem too needy (needy for answers that is) and then in a cool way approach the subject and try and find out what made her cancel the dinner and ask her to be honest... She texted me, totally ignoring the date, etc... I texted back and just asked how she was and wished her a good rest of the evening, because I don't want her to think I am pressuring her, and that I am understanding and caring. I won't pressure her, I am just gonna take it easy, anyway, I know deep down there is something not right with her, and I don't feel happy about the situation. I will tackle the missed date issue another time......
D-Lish Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 She texted me, totally ignoring the date, etc... I texted back and just asked how she was and wished her a good rest of the evening, because I don't want her to think I am pressuring her, and that I am understanding and caring. I won't pressure her, I am just gonna take it easy, anyway, I know deep down there is something not right with her, and I don't feel happy about the situation. I will tackle the missed date issue another time...... Hey A! She's being disrespectful. I'd wait for her to contact you, leave the ball in her court. I think it's a good time to pull back a touch- give her a chance to figure out what's what. Maybe she just wants to take things slower... ? What does your gut tell you? Cuz, it's seldom wrong, yet often something we ignore. At any rate, wait for her to come to you. If you feel she's pulling back~ that's the best way to handle it. D
Author Amour77 Posted November 27, 2006 Author Posted November 27, 2006 The thing is, she contacts me on a regular basis (everyday, several times) Well.... after yesterday's episode, she texted me in the morning saying:"I am fuc*ed" What is that supposed to mean? I really don't get it....She keeps in touch on a regular basis (every day) but she acts in a way that makes me think she wants to sabotage the whole thing. I just don't get it....
Road Rage Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 I am f*cked? Wow, I can think of one possibility and I hope this isn`t a literal satement Armour, for your sake:eek:
Road Rage Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 Armour77 It could be that this gal is not interested in a romantic relationship with you but is edging you closer to the friend zone.
Author Amour77 Posted November 27, 2006 Author Posted November 27, 2006 I am f*cked? Wow, I can think of one possibility and I hope this isn`t a literal satement Armour, for your sake:eek: Hopefully not... I do not think she was in the middle of it or had just finished.... Could it mean I am confused and am an idiot?
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