I love my bf... But he's a selfish f*** and I think I need to break up

[Guest]

hi everyone. it's me again. i posted the thing above that he was a cancer. yep, my ex is also a cancer, and everything you had written about him, reminded me of my ex.

 

god knows, even if he was so selfish and disregarded my feelings, AND even after the fact that i told him i cannot see or speak to him until i heal, he keeps calling me. once a few days ago, and i just checked my phone and saw that he just tried again a half hour ago. I AM SO SAD! why is he still continuing to call me?!!? PLEASE SOMEONE SHED SOME LIGHT ON THIS! i am beginning to panic.

[mental_traveller]

He hasn't been answering my calls for 3 days.. He tends to "retreat" and ignore me for a few days when we have arguments about the relationship... .I've told him many times how miserable and hysterical it makes me.. In the past I've left many messages crying and screaming when he'd do that..... and yet he's still doing it....

 

So here I am wondering why the man who's supposed to love me would purposely leave me in such a miserable state when I didn't do anything to hurt him...

 

I think you are wrong here. You had arguments with him - that is very hurtful, when someone you care about starts having a big row with you, especially if it happens more than once in a blue moon. Why are you surprised if he retreats for a few days? You even admit that after blowing up and having a big fight, you start crying and screaming on his answerphone the next day. And you act puzzled that he keeps his distance afterwards?

 

No one likes having frequent arguments. No one likes being screamed at. His behaviour seems a perfectly normal and understandable response to your emotional instability. Normal people, after an argument, try to make amends and clear things up the next day or two once they've calmed down. You, apparently, go psycho - which slows and complicates the making-up process.

 

I suggest that you put in a lot more effort into avoiding arguments or defusing them as they arise. In addition, make a commitment to act nicely the next day or two, don't shout and scream at him. If you do that then he is much more likely not to "withdraw".

[mental_traveller]

He has been ignoring your calls for days ?? Wtf ? who does that to a SO ?

 

Someone whose SO cries and screams at them repeatedly when they call?

[HopefulOne]

I think you are wrong here. You had arguments with him - that is very hurtful, when someone you care about starts having a big row with you, especially if it happens more than once in a blue moon. Why are you surprised if he retreats for a few days? You even admit that after blowing up and having a big fight, you start crying and screaming on his answerphone the next day. And you act puzzled that he keeps his distance afterwards?

 

No one likes having frequent arguments. No one likes being screamed at. His behaviour seems a perfectly normal and understandable response to your emotional instability. Normal people, after an argument, try to make amends and clear things up the next day or two once they've calmed down. You, apparently, go psycho - which slows and complicates the making-up process.

 

I suggest that you put in a lot more effort into avoiding arguments or defusing them as they arise. In addition, make a commitment to act nicely the next day or two, don't shout and scream at him. If you do that then he is much more likely not to "withdraw".

 

Did you read her post at all????

[mental_traveller]

Did you read her post at all????

 

Of course.

[Speedo]

How are you doing with this Princessa?

[princessa]

How are you doing with this Princessa?

 

Hi, sorry I haven't been updating in a long time. I'm still pondering the issue.. Things are moving very slowly and I am not sure in which direction.. I'll post later when I have something interesting to say, if anything. Thanks for the support..

[Guest]

Gal, what are you waiting for?! break up with him and run away as fast as you can. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Never expect them to change for you one day. The more you show your care toward them, the more they take you for granted and the more disrespect they will give to you.I know how hard it is to cut things off at this point when you are still in love this him. But I really doubt about whether you are still in love with him at this point or it is just the fact that you are used to the feeling of being in love with him.

 

You think he is worth of all your effort? save it for someone who know how to appreciate you. It may take a while to find that person, but when you are with the right guy everything just feels so right and you will be so much happier than now. Time to think about yourself first. That's the best for you in the long term. If you can't see a future with such a person like him, better let go and move on as early as possible. BTW, is he younger than you? At last, about those excuses, don't give a s***. Selfish guys are never out of excuses.