lynnered

[redlynne]

I was the OW for 5 years ,patient believing loving didn't nag ,was available whenever he needed me.

2 or 3 years into relationship I started nc sometimes lasting 2 weeks to a month ,I wasn't asking him to leave I just couldn't stay I got a lot of promises,when his child started school ,when she goes all day,etc.

 

I posted on these boards under a different name when he said he'd be out by sept .

He left but I later found out because he was busted by W over a different OW,at the time I didn't know I kept talking to him but not sex until he left.

Then in Feburary he stated W was accusing him of cheating I basically find out he slept with a female from gym not from him.

Then this really takes the cake a friend tells me he has a female that he is taking with him to the gym so I break it off for good this was march 2006,he at that time admitted none of this I was crazy & paranoid and a B****.

So in may I get a drunken message call the next day well that night by phone he confirms all this he don’t know why ,I wasnt given him any ,he still leaving of course I changed all my fault ....

I tried to be friendly he would call ,it got old quick it wasn't there anymore .

He is not the man I thought he was ,was he ever ?

 

In August 2006 I call him to tell him there is no reason to talk good luck ,that day W had been in his email & found pic of him & recent gold gym girl a 23 year old hes 31 (worst thing she lives @home &he tell me her mother loves him & knows he is married).

Thats the last time I spoke to him .

Yeah its not easy ,im pissed I wasted all that time I haven't physically seen him since march or spoke since August ,saw his truck @gym last week almost stopped kept it moving.

This guy cheated on his W with me which should be a first sign to his character then he cheats on both of us 3 TIMES!!

If I had it to do all over again I wouldn't at all,or at least when I came to LS @year 4 I should have cold turkey walked away but no I was a glutton deep down I knew I was wrong .

 

I have forgiven myself & know that I will not live my life like that for any man ever again .

If he is married & even thinking of a relationship with another he is trash ladies walk away.

I put my life on hold as most in this situation do for what? crumbs

if things are so bad at home he should walk away .

And you know what this new chick hes with,he told me he doesn't really care if she gets hurt & the thing that hurt he was honest with her about having a W& a girlfriend when he met her WOW .

 

Anyway I com here once in awhile & read the posts & it pissed me off this has matured me and I want to say grow up walk away ,if he will do it with you he will do it to you.

Stop putting a mans needs above yours you are worth so much more even if you don’t think so.

But hes different yes I said that myself ,if hes still with his W not hes not.

I didn't confide in friends all those years I did after the fact I wish I did sooner.

and you know what i am fine ,its not the end of the world ,so what your not with him if you would let go most likely you will find someone soooooo much better .

 

im not ready to date yet but its coming,its scary that was sick situation but i was used to it .

im happier being alone no drama not listening to him whine poor me who doesn't have the balls to make a change .

Hopefully this helps somebody,

take care

[kymberann]

Yes this does help. For one when I read posts on LS, it reminds me I am not alone even when i feel like the loniliest girl in the world right now. Two, I know it takes time to heal, That's all I have, but sooner or later there will be a light. I can't wait, but when I feel better and secure again, I hope I will be able to help other people just like you have with your post. Thanks for the post!

Best!

[Catharsis]

Redlynne, welcome to the club. If you want, read my story, and you will see that I got played by my MM as well - thank the Lord that he never managed to get me to sleep with him and ruin my M. I get sick when I read his sappy love mails to his W (who has not a clue that he is a serial cheater) while at the same time he is getting it on with a married 22 year old. He's 40 BTW, married for almost 14 years. I have to fight the urge to contact his latest plaything (that's all she is to him, even if he tells her he cares for her and loves her - heck, he did the same to me) or better yet, his totally clueless W who adores and worships him like a God. I irks me to no end that he can just go on and faces no consequences for his lies. However, if I exposed him for what he really is, he will probably find out that I've been accessing his email account and get me into legal trouble. So I sit and observe, hoping that karma catches up with him somehow.

 

The biggest challenge is not to get bitter and cynical. Live your life and live it well. That is still the best revenge while these guys are forever caught up in their little dramas as if they were still in highschool.

[kymberann]

Catharsis,

What do you do to hold it togethr and NOT go and tell his wife everything??? How do you stay strong??

Best!

[Catharsis]

Catharsis,

What do you do to hold it togethr and NOT go and tell his wife everything??? How do you stay strong??

Best!

 

Trust me, I have to fight the urge A LOT. I have TONS of written evidence between "MM" and his other girls, very expliciti and with details that only HE would know, so he couldn't even claim that somebody would just make these mails up to get hm into trouble. The thing is, I logged into his email account with his password, and I'm sure he would know right away that someone MUST have gotten into his account. He would probably notify his email service provider (yahoo) to find out who has accessed his account, and if they gave him my IP address (if they do this), then he could get me. If I knew with 100% certainty that he couldn't find out that it was me I'd do it in a split second. He keeps deleting the mails he exchanges with his new girls, but I keep copying them before he deletes them. Heck, I've even thought about posing as the H of one of his OW and scare the crap out of him - but that's childish albeit very funny to think about his reaction. He's a big coward, and he'd literally crap his pants if I'd sent him a threatening angry mail posing as the girl's H. :lmao:

 

But seriously, I fantasize about printing out all the evidence I have on him and mailing them to his W anonymously. Heck, I even know someone who would mail them fpr me from a different state so he would NEVER know who mailed them. But like I said, if he started to think and wonder if someone got into his account - that's when it could get tricky for me.