Ruby Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Hi I wonder if anyone can help me with this one! I have been seeing my guy for 5 months now and I know 5 months is no time at all but we are very close and see alot of each other. It feels like we have been together for ages. He is lovey and kind and would do anything for me. He has redecorated my home (I do alot for him too) my son adores him and always asks if he can come around. The problem is this, he has 3 sons from 2 previous relationships, 2 from his marriage when he was young and another from a relationship that lasted 7 years and finished a year before I met him. When he has his sons over it feels as if I am thrown out like yesterday's rubbish! Maybe I am exagerating here but it really feels like he does not bother when his kids are over. I have let him into my life completely (something I have never done since I left my sons father) and I feel like he is keeping me away from his kids. What makes his kids more special than mine? I also feel like when he wants to go out he doesnt just outright tell me, he says he may go out or he may come over. It's like he keep me on the back burner incase he cant end up going out. He also tells me he will call me back in 30 mins and doesnt and this pisses me off badly. And at other times (when he is not busy) he is on the phone all thetime! I keep telling him to say what he means and mean what he says but he just makes excuses as to why he hasnt called. I am not a clingy person at all but I do need to feel special to somone and not just when it suits him. All I am asking for is continuity and to not feel like I am on a roller coaster. Last night, for example, he tells me he MAY go out but doesnt feel like it, or he may come around to me. I tell him just to let me know and he doenst call back. When I eventually call him he tells me he is getting ready to go out with his coke head brother. He then says he needs to come to my house to get a pair of shoes he has left there. He didnt call and didnt come for the shoes! All I want i a call to tell me what he is doing! Am I being to precious here? Is this all MY insecurity? Helpppppp!!!!!!!!!
Author Ruby Posted November 26, 2006 Author Posted November 26, 2006 Could someone out there please help? I feel so angry and upset and I do not know how to deal with this!
justagirliegirl Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 It seems he has a rather poor track record with relationships. That I would see as a potential red flag right there. I would just back off some and let him pursue you and in the mean time get busy with you own life. Anytime he gives a vague answer that involves you waiting around on him, simply don't wait and make the decision for him meaning if he says he may go out but he doesn't say with you, then just make plans to do something else without him and do that. I would seriously think about dating other men in addition to him.
Author Ruby Posted November 26, 2006 Author Posted November 26, 2006 That is great advice - And thank you for taking the time to reply The problem is that I have a son and I am a single mom so he knows I cannot just go out on a whim, I have to get sitters and he knows it I just feel like I am here for his convience
Touche Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Stop being so available. He'll keep doing this if YOU don't change what you're doing. Next time he says he "may" come over, tell him that this is not acceptable. You want an answer about whether he is or not. If he says he doesn't know then tell him to not come. Tell him you have other things to do anyway. Also, stop answering all of his calls. YOU be less available. He should get the hint.
Star Gazer Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 What makes his kids more special than mine? Are you kidding? Because they are HIS children! You've only been dating 5 months, you're not the Brady's here.
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