hugznkisses21 Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 Hi there, I have my own worry and axiety issues when it comes to love and loosing someone - it comes from loosing my mother - they come out when im in a commited relationship when i no longer have complete control of the future...so i decided to go back and see a concellor - BUT - in being open with my bf i now feel embarassed and that he is going to think "oh god what am i dealing with (somegirl that has issues)" I have to tell myself its for me - but im afaird that he may want to fine someone that doesnt have issues. Origionally i didnt want to tell him cause he was going through the loss of his best friend - but going through that with him brought back alot of my fears and i wanted to do something about it. Now im embarassed of what he must think of me and that he doesnt need my issues as well as dealing with his own loss
Kamille Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 Yet you are not asking him to deal with your issues. Quite the opposite, by going to a counselor, you are taking them in charge yourself. You told him because he is your boyfriend and therefore, it's safe to assume that he cares for you. I actually congratulate for the way you are dealing with this situation.
Author hugznkisses21 Posted November 25, 2006 Author Posted November 25, 2006 thanks very much! I wish i felt that confident about this. I just hope he doesnt feel like - oh i wish i had a normal gf. But at the same time if he does feel that way - which i doubt he does - i have to do what helps me in the end...i guess
Kamille Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 well - we could go on forever trying to debate whether there is such a thing as a "normal" girlfriend. Hey, we all know we're all unique - and we have all been dealt our own set of issues. The very fact you choose to address yours speaks to the fact that you are taking responsibility for yourself. I would say that's a very desirable trait in a significant other. I'm sure he doesn't think any less of you for telling him. I remember when my mom started going to therapy her therapist actually recommended she tell the whole family about therapy and the issues she was tackling. I was the first one she approached. She was so afraid that we would judge her. (she struggles with fear of abandonment too). For my part I felt so happy and relieved that she would finally open up to us and that we could show her we were there to support her. I also know that the work she did had positive effects on all of us. Not to mention that our relationship improved and that I have learned so much from her. The thing is, we love her so much, just as she is, and it was hard for us to see her struggle with these issues all on her own. I'm sure your boyfriend wants only the best for you.
shawn_68 Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 I have my own worry and axiety issues when it comes to love and loosing someone - it comes from loosing my mother - they come out when im in a commited relationship when i no longer have complete control of the future Anybody that has endured the pain of losing a loved one experiences this to some degree. We ALL feel this. It's part of the human experience. The trick is to take actions to overcome - the very best that you can. so i decided to go back and see a concellor - BUT - in being open with my bf i now feel embarassed and that he is going to think "oh god what am i dealing with (somegirl that has issues)" I'm still trying to think what it would be like to NOT have any issues. Sorry I can't. (Maybe there's some guy in Alaska, living in an igloo, secluded from the rest of the world, that is immune.) But I do know that if he cares about you to any degree he will appreciate the efforts to improve yourself and the relationship. This is a good thing. My bet is that he will view it the same way.
Kamille Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 Maybe there's some guy in Alaska, living in an igloo, secluded from the rest of the world, that is immune. Ah yeah! Him! He was doing really well but then he found out about global warming... Now, anxiety attacts galore!
Author hugznkisses21 Posted November 25, 2006 Author Posted November 25, 2006 thanks guys for all your replys - you really have put a smile on my face today...i am proud that i want to help myself and in turn improve my relationships...i should hold me head high
shawn_68 Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Ah yeah! Him! He was doing really well but then he found out about global warming... Now, anxiety attacts galore! Poor guy. I heard he also fell in love. Now he's REALLY got issues. thanks guys for all your replys - you really have put a smile on my face today...i am proud that i want to help myself and in turn improve my relationships...i should hold me head high Egggxactly.
Kamille Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Poor guy. I heard he also fell in love. Now he's REALLY got issues. Egggxactly. Don't tell me! He fell in Love with Brigitte Bardot while she was out there protesting against seal hunting! by Hugznkisses21 thanks guys for all your replys - you really have put a smile on my face today...i am proud that i want to help myself and in turn improve my relationships...i should hold me head high thanks! I'm glad you feel better. Chin up!
shawn_68 Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 Don't tell me! He fell in Love with Brigitte Bardot while she was out there protesting against seal hunting! I think you may be right. We'll expect him to post soon at LS over the breakup. I'll let you handle the advice. Men are really terrible at this. We have issues!!!
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