Guest Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 There is all this talk on this forum about affairs eventually being exposed. How exactly does this happen? A friend of mine has been involved with a MM for 5 years and nobody knows about their relationship except for a couple of friends including myself. The MM wife has no clue. So, how exactly does an A get exposed?
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 1. How exactly does this happen? 2. So, how exactly does an A get exposed? 1. MM is going to get careless as he convinces himself he won't get caught. Unless the W is completely oblivious, she will be on some level suspicious - her gut will be telling her something isn't right. One of two things happens: she either goes into denial mode and ignores it, or she follows up and starts snooping/hiring a PI/etc. 2. Once enough evidence is gathered, and the BS decides that 'enough is enough' and decides to force the affair to end, the BS will 'expose' the affair: ie - tell everyone connected to the MM/MW and his/her OW/OM. Bosses, co-workers, family members, SO's, etc. I'm inclined to believe that in LTA's that don't get exposed or 'found out' - that its more of a matter of denial or indifference (the whole 'ignorance is bliss' mindset) on the part of the BS rather than the savvyness of the MM/MW 'getting away with it'. Who knows. Maybe its a little of both.
frannie Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 Sometimes someone tells the BS what is going on... the OW/OM or a 'friend', or the spouse of a married OW/OM if they want to stop the affair in its tracks. Which is ironic given what I've just been replying to on another thread about it being awful with regards to the children if affairs are discovered. Seems that people aren't too bothered about that if it suits them. Amazing the number of double standards on here
Trialbyfire Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 1. MM is going to get careless as he convinces himself he won't get caught. Unless the W is completely oblivious, she will be on some level suspicious - her gut will be telling her something isn't right. One of two things happens: she either goes into denial mode and ignores it, or she follows up and starts snooping/hiring a PI/etc. 2. Once enough evidence is gathered, and the BS decides that 'enough is enough' and decides to force the affair to end, the BS will 'expose' the affair: ie - tell everyone connected to the MM/MW and his/her OW/OM. Bosses, co-workers, family members, SO's, etc. I'm inclined to believe that in LTA's that don't get exposed or 'found out' - that its more of a matter of denial or indifference (the whole 'ignorance is bliss' mindset) on the part of the BS rather than the savvyness of the MM/MW 'getting away with it'. Who knows. Maybe its a little of both. Wow, that covers exactly what happened with me.
pureinheart Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 I think they purposefully get caught in some cases
kkat Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 In the situation I was involved in, the BS (wife of my ex-MM) apparently knew and/or suspected for a very long time, and even knew logically that he was specifically involved with me (he had left her for me once years before and we had lived together for a few years so she knew me and lots about me - it would have been easy for her to track him down with me anytime, anyplace.) Instead she used denial and avoided any questioning activity that would have led her to actual facing of the facts. On the times that she nearly caught him, accidentally, she avoided the subject - she didn't want to know. Via a bizarre twist of events, the details of which I don't know and likely never will since he has had zero contact with me since, she was confronted with the truth by one of her adult children. At that point, MM claimed that in fact there had been no affair but that instead, I had been stalking him for three years. She chose to go with that version and they remain, happily married.
Catharsis Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 I have so much evidence against my "MM" that I could ruin his career and his M - but unfortunately that could get me into trouble as well since I got the info by getting into his email account. I never hacked, I just "knew" his password, but still don't want to get into legal trouble over this scumbag. I'm hoping somebody else will do it for me one day - this guy so deserves being pushed from his pedestal.
Peppermintpatti Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 She found out about us by breaking into his voice mail on his cell phone, taking his phone reading his text messages, caught us in a bar. Just a few of the many....
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