guest 123 Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 I(29 yrs) met this guy(31 yrs) end of July and we went out on our first date the last week of August. The date went VERY well and we went on more and more dates after that. We were basically spending a lot of time together, pretty much every weekend together. He would come over to my place and I would go over to his house. He would leave for work real early in the morning and leave me at his house and i would leave for work when it was time for me to leave. After about 2 months of dating consistently and him initiating the dates and phone calls for the most part, communicating frequently in the week and seeing each other over the weekend, i went over to his house on a Sunday afternoon because that weekend we had both hung out with our own friends. I noticed he was unusually quiet and almost seemed withdrawn. I tried not to make an issue of it because i figured we'd been spending so much time together and that maybe it was just me, but the difference was quite noticeable. I ignored it and we ended up oing shopping and dinner and i stayed the night. The following week we spoke maybe once or twice coz i decided to give him his space but he didnt call. the following weekend, he made plans with his friends and did not make any plans with me and i let it go. he called that Sunday but i didnt pick up the phone, and he had sent me an email at work that Monday morn, which i responded short and sweet. the following week we didnt speak again, and i went away for the weekend but he didn't make any plans with me. When i got back to town that Sunday and we spoke, i asked him what was going on because i felt like i was initiating contact with him the last 2 weeks and was wondering why the sudden change? and he responded that he liked to do other stuff as well. i told him i didnt want to keep feeling like i was forcing something that wasnt there etc.....anyways, i stayed at his house that night and monday had the day off and he called me all day and that week he called pretty much everyday....the Friday afternoon i sent him a text msge asking if he wanted to watch this other movie i was dying to watch on Saturday. he didnt respond until midnight that day and his response was "maybe". i was sooo mad and didnt call him and neither did he that Saturday. Then Sunday at noon he sent me a text msge asking if i had watched the movie and i replied "nope" and he replied saying "wanna go in a couple of hours?" and i replied "no its ok" and that was the LAST time i heard from him. its been 2 weeks and i haven't heard from him AT ALL. I dont know what to do...i'm just assuming its over. I feel like i did something wrong but not sure what. I refuse to call him (is that a bad attitude), Any advise, ANYONE????
amaysngrace Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 It sounds like he is expecting you to chase him down or something. Why do you have to do all the work? Relationships take two people making an effort. I think you guys are done, or should be. I would be done with him. It sounds like he doesn't treat you right. He leaves you hanging and that's selfish of him. I don't think you did anything bad by putting your foot down. He sounded like he maybe had an issue or something because he was pulling back to begin with. Maybe you making demands pushed him out the door. But I wouldn't lose sleep over him. He sounds creepy.
Grrlish Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 Well, actions speak louder than words, sweetie. If he's no longer calling to make plans then he's not as interested as he was before. If he hasn't called in two weeks, I'd say that he's taken a powder. Why...is a completely different question. If you really want to know why or what happened, call him and ask him...in a very calm manner. If he can't really respond, I'd personally just let him off the hook without a temper tantrum or anything. Although I would probably let him know that you didn't appreciate the way that he just faded away and that it would have been nice if he'd just told you that he wasn't interested in pursuing the relationship. Then let it go...for your own sake. Sometimes we lose interest in someone for various reasons, and it's not something we can help. How we deal with that depends on the integrity of the individual. Too bad that he didn't have the class to tell you that he didn't want to see you any more. He apparently just decided to fade away instead of behaving like a mature man. I'm sorry, sweetie.
Its Just Me Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 It sounds like this guy has pretty much checked out. He's probably out there testing the waters and the reason he doesn't have the balls to come out and tell you he's not interested is because he wants to keep you under radar. Move on, and if he comes back WHICH THEY ALL DO, after pulling a disappearing act like this, Do not entertain him. At least you found out sooner than later. I know its hard right now, but you'll be ok. It sounds like you've got it together coz you are not calling this guy left right and center. Good Luck!
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