smoochie Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 I posted this in Second Chances but didn't get many replies. I think it was in the wrong forum so I reposted here. A little background first...Dated and lived together for a total of 3 years. He was a horrible boyfriend and we had a bad break up. I never expected to hear from him again and was fine with that after awhile. Then about 10 months of NC, he called me. We talked for a few hours and he said sorry, blah, blah. He then started calling me for 6 months straight, averaging twice a month, leaving voicemails saying sorry and he wished he had another chance stuff. I would never pick up the phone.Two months ago he called and left a message and I became curious as to what he was actually sorry about. So I returned this call and we talked for hours. He read poetry to me that he had been writing about me. He swore he still loved me and missed me. We began to talk regularly on the phone and text everyday. He asked me to come visit him every time we talked (we live in two different states since 6 months before our breakup. The distance had nothing to do with the breakup). I asked him about his women (cause he was a cheater) and he told me all about them and what was going on in his life currently. Okay, fast foward to two and a half weeks ago. He sent me a pic of him to my phone. He sent the same pic of himself to 4 other women too at the same time. All of their phone numbers came across in the properties section of my cell phone. I knew two of the girls but not the other two. I got a little mad and did some pretty petty stuff. I called both the girls and said he was cheating on them. I know, kinda petty but I wanted to get a little revenge. Not because we were getting back together or anything...just got a wild hair up my "you-know-what". Needless to say, he got pissed and hung upon me when I called. I sent him a text a few days later saying I would be in the area (my job was sending me out that way) and if he still wanted me to visit. He sent back a text saying "he didn't know how I got the numbers (he thinks I have access to his phone records again. I used to have access when we lived together), that I was going to make him get a phone in someone else's name and why did I want to hurt him...that's not like Jesus." I responded by saying if he wanted me to come or not cause that wasn't an answer. A few days later, I called and left a message for him to call me. This was a thursday night 11pm, Friday morning I left two more vms and 3 text messages, all before 9am. So my meltdown lasted 12 hours and I haven't heard from him since. Nor have I tried contacting him any further. It's been three weeks since I called those girls and two weeks since I heard anything from him. The girls by the way weren't anyone he was serious about. But that shouldnt have mattered cause he was the only screaming to get back with me.I know what I did was wrong but if you really love someone and have been trying to get back in for so long, why would you just turn your back and not even give them the chance to explain? That's the only part that doesn't make sense to me. He wanted me...I wasn't the pursuer. He was too desperate to see me. Btw, the last text I sent said "I don't know if you are getting my messages or not cause you haven't responded, but are you getting something out of this? Me calling and you not answering? Does this make you feel important or something? Cause if you really didn't want to talk, you would send a text saying so when I asked you in my first text. You tell people when you don't want to hear from them, especially when they ask you to. This is strange". So my questions are 1.) is this really over for him? 2.) is this something he has to stop being mad about in his own time? 3.) was he lying for all that time? 4.) why didn't he give me a chance to explain? 5.) is he waiting to see how long it take for me to call him again?I figure he knows where I am and how to contact me. Tbh, I really don't want him back...I just enjoyed listening to how much he wanted me Also, it burns me up for me to think he thinks I care enough to get his phone records and stuff. I know I shouldn't have called though.But if anyone can give me some insight I would appreciate it. I don't know if I expect him to call or not. As each day passes, it seems more likely than not that he won't
Teacher's Pet Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 He was a horrible boyfriend and we had a bad break up. I hate to over-simplify things.... But..... we each have a limited amount of emotional energy.... Isn't it better spent on someone who truly loves us? Trust me, I'm learning to take my own advice. My ex treated me like crap, and I'm still pining over her after 5 months. She was a horrible girlfriend, and she treated me like crap, too. It just sucks that some people can be this way to people who genuinely love them. Time to focus on YOU, and someone better, when they come along. They will!!!!! If I can believe that for myself, I can believe it for anyone. -tp puppy without a home
Ssheena Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 I agree with TP. It sounds as if he is giving you more examples of his true behavior. Sure it's nice to have someone read us poetry and say they were sorry and they made a big mistake etc, etc. but to me, it doesn't sound like this guy has done any "work" on himself. Don't get in contact with him again.
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