yes Posted June 2, 2002 Posted June 2, 2002 hi! im sorry if this Qn is same as my old ones but here it goes ... im seeing this guy... and there's a huge contrast between how we express ourselves ... he's a very warm person, says lots of nice things, etc... i'm more on the cold side, a bit distant, sarcastic, not the type to say nice things out loud ... i have no idea if he minds, but even i myself am sort of uncomfortable with this contrast... so i suppose the simple answer to my own Qn is to slowly start being nicer to him...? but its just so strage - he'll say stuff like he likes me more every time he sees me - and i just cannot say the same thing back, though i feel it. i just make a joke in response... anyway, this contrast makes me uncomfortable... yuck! what's a gal to do?
Tony T Posted June 2, 2002 Posted June 2, 2002 YOU ASK: "anyway, this contrast makes me uncomfortable... yuck! what's a gal to do?" Just explain to him that the two of you have different styles of communicating. Let him know you are not so freely disposed to announcing what you feel as he is and ask him to be patient. Also, tell him you appreciate his understanding and acceptance of exactly how you are. Let him know if you ever act or speak certain ways that he does not understand, just to ask you to explain. That ought to take care of the matter.
Author yes Posted June 2, 2002 Author Posted June 2, 2002 i think its already taken care of then... we talked about how i dont rlly express myself in words - i told him its nice that he's so sweet verbally, but that he cant expect the same thing back from me b/c thats just how i am ... and he seemed cool w/ it... in any case, i suppose i should go both ways - ill try to be a bit more verbally expressive within my limits, and try to mention this diff-ce to him again when it comes up... thanks for your reply tony =) -yes
MercyRose Posted June 2, 2002 Posted June 2, 2002 After reading alot of posts here I noticed one thing-the 'challenge' factor. Therefore your lack of expressiveness is what is most likely to keep him interested
Author yes Posted June 2, 2002 Author Posted June 2, 2002 challenge... that's a good way to think of it, thanks =) your responses combined with his claims that he's okay with my lack of verbal communication because "other little things lemme know" make me feel much better ... and besides, some days i feel like being nice, it's only couple days a month that i'm really in bite-mode... thanks for your reply... -yes
velvet Posted June 2, 2002 Posted June 2, 2002 I think if you have the same feelings for him as he verbally said he has for you it shouldnt be so difficult. If you don't have the same feelings for him than I can agree it would be hard to make them up and lye to him. I don't know if its so much as the challenge. Maybe some time down the road he could get real sick of hearing cold remarks but for now digs you.
BeReal Posted June 4, 2002 Posted June 4, 2002 I think if you push yourself to say how you feel, eventually it will become comfortable for you. If you were not raised in an environment where loving feelings were shared it can feel strange to engage in that behavoir.
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