scaredinlove Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 Well for those who dosen't know my story.I was/am seeing a MM his wife found out ,I told my H he went crazy and violent, I had him taken out of the house.MM and I broke up. My h took off and went to "God Knows where" ,his friends say he went to England. MM called me back we reconciled. Ok thats the sinopse. Now in my last post I said I had a huge fight with MM went crazy and called his home 10 times just to leave my number in the caller ID to get him in trouble and wrote his wife a e-mail telling her we are still seing each other. After that I felt horrible and end up calling him back to apologize he was prety P*** as one would expect but he forgave me and wants me back. He said I am not only a peace of A*** , he said he really loves me and he understand my anger. Made promisse I will never will do anything like that again. I don't understand why he didn't told to get lost,he actually wants me back.Does it means that he really loves me like he says he does or he is just suicidal?
GreenEyedLady Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 I don't understand why he didn't told to get lost,he actually wants me back.Does it means that he really loves me like he says he does or he is just suicidal? We don't know him, so we can't really say...he must enjoy drama...I am wondering how he is managing to pull this off with his W knowing about the A and knowing who you are... I am sure he must care for you to want to continue the R...but what are you hoping to get out of it at this point? You were very upset about the situation to do what you did...I think you should consider counseling because your life has been very volatile in the recent past/present...and until you can come to terms with everything that has happened, it doesn't seem that you will be able to make anything good out of this... In addition the W is already in the know and it seems like the situation will just continue with the chaos and hurt spiraling out of control... Please really think about what YOU want out of life...
lovernotafighter Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 yes I'm sure he loves you..but you are hurting and it sounds like you want him to end the relationship..like GEL stated perhaps you should seek individual counseling to help you get through this...and perhaps get out of the affair on your own. it's a carousel in these affairs...I can speak for mine..it just kept going in a horrible circle..my exMM even stated the highs are high the lows are so terribly low that we had to get off..but then we'd want back on. like a addiction... but everyone has a threshold of pain...when you reach yours,you'll know what to do.
Author scaredinlove Posted November 24, 2006 Author Posted November 24, 2006 GEL and lover taks for your responses. I guess when I did what i did I wanted him to hate me so it would be easier to leave, but after I felt pretty miserable because I really love him.So I called expecting that he would hang up and he didn't. What i really want is to be with him and have a normal relationship without hidding.So one day i am fine the next day i am not.Don't want to stay can't/don't want to leave .I feel pulled in two different directions. I guess he must love me....
lovernotafighter Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 I think you did want him to end it..I know I did somethings to MM to hope he'd never take me back..the last time I took everything that was ours and threw it in the trash right in his face and pleaded with him..."please,please,please don't take me back again" he didn't. but I never seemed to be able to just walk away..I had to hurt him for him not to want this anymore..I felt horrible instantly and I did go back..like I knew I would. I used to describe him a Samson's hair..like when he was cut off I lost my power in the world...to a degree it was true, cause I am quite crippled now. but I need to get my power back...so do you..you just have to find a way..but none will be easy..all choices are a up hill battle you know. but remember if you don't do something this will just keep going on like this.
Author scaredinlove Posted November 24, 2006 Author Posted November 24, 2006 Lover, I am going to just keep this affair for a little longer.I am trying to be patient and wait. He got a new job a little further from me,so it will be even harder to see him.I guess this is going to end naturally, that is what i am hopping for.
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