littleroom Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 Hello... It's been months since I have been on here and I debated with myself if I just wanted to lurk or actually provide an update. So here I am. Months ago I reached out on this forum because I was in a EA with someone at my office. Even then I knew that I needed to get out of this relationship, even though I cared very deeply about this person. Some of you may remember my story. I was completely confused at the time about my feelings and where things were going in my life etc because of this. Anyway, I decided that I absolutely had to get out of my job and separate myself from this person. The relationship between us had just gotten more and more intense and my feelings were all over the map. I have been working at the same employer for 6 years and so making a change like this was huge for me. I applied at several places and I had a couple of good leads. This went on for a couple of months (interviews, decisions etc). I never shared with him that I was looking for a way out. Finally, about a month ago a really good opportunity came my way and I was offered the job! I saw this as a sign to make a change in my life. I knew I was being self destructive by behaving the way I was. My last week at my job was Nov 17th and it was a very emotional goodbye on several levels. I happen to really like the people I work with and then this other person was struggling with me leaving too. So I left and I have this new job. I was really down the weekend before I started my new job. I kept thinking about this other person. I mean, I saw him EVERYDAY and we were close friends (even though there was a lot of emotional and physical attachment). I feel really good that I made this change and I know it is totally for the best. AND this new job is really cool! But I find myself thinking a lot about this other person and wanting to connect with him somehow. Why is this so hard?! Because it is so wrong. I feel like a bad person for loving someone so much that isn't my husband, but I just fell into this pattern and I knew I had to stop myself. Thanks for listening. I am not sure if anyone remembers me. But I am grateful for the opportunity to make a change in my life and to start over. I would also appreciate hearing from anyone else who is rebuilding their lives in this way or was in an EA with someone and now is separated from that person. I almost feel like I am in moarning. It's hard to explain. Thanks... ---littleroom
LakesideDream Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 Sounds like a difficult decision. It's good that you are happy with your move. While I am not comfortable with the definition of "EA" as used here on LoveShack, I do know how difficult it is to break contact with someone you genuinely love, on any level. Kudo's for taking the steps necessary to make your life better. Most of us don't have your courage.
InaPanic Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 I admire you for taking those steps to get away from him even with the feelings you obviously still have. That makes you pretty strong i think. It is absolutely like mourning someone or even to me was like a drug withdrawal. Have you been tempted to make contact with him? Are you all still having an affair? I'm not sure what an EA is? Is that extramarital affair or emotional affair? I hope for your sake it's only emotional tho that is sometimes harder to give up than the physical. It was for me at least. Good luck to you & I give you all of my support.
Author littleroom Posted November 25, 2006 Author Posted November 25, 2006 I admire you for taking those steps to get away from him even with the feelings you obviously still have. That makes you pretty strong i think. It is absolutely like mourning someone or even to me was like a drug withdrawal. Have you been tempted to make contact with him? Are you all still having an affair? I'm not sure what an EA is? Is that extramarital affair or emotional affair? I hope for your sake it's only emotional tho that is sometimes harder to give up than the physical. It was for me at least. Good luck to you & I give you all of my support. Thank you, I appreciate the support... especially since recently I have been hurting in a way like I have broken up with someone. Just some explanation. If nothing emotional existed between us I would still adore this guy. I cannot explain WHY but I do and always have. We connected in a big way. So what hurts for me more than anything right now is that I feel I have lost a best friend. (I'm teary now just writing that). To answer your question, I have been in contact with him once since my last day last week. We talked on the phone and he emailed me once. All was very innocent. Anyway... he doesn't think I left this job because of him. It just so happens that my Director was being an a** for months and so it was good to make this change on that level. I am TRYING to refocus myself on my family, my new job and life in general... but this issue still creeps up on me every day in some way. Some days are better than others. Tonight happens to be bad for me for some reason. Thanks for the support. I hope to connect with some folks here that can get me through this process. --- littleroom
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