Guest Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 I've been dating this girl for 2 months and we had a serious talk last night about becoming exclusive. I met her online and as of two weeks ago I removed my profile. Without my asking, she indicated she took hers down a week ago. However, as of today its still there. I don't know if I should be concerned or bring it to her attention. If so, I don't know how to verbalize it without coming across as some nutty guy.
Tony T Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 If she agreed to be exclusive, say absolutely nothing...for now. She may have tried to remove it and something went wrong at the site. You never know with computers. It won't look good that so early in the relationship you are already checking up on her. If it's still up in a month or two, and the two of you are still together, tell her you were making sure your profile was no longer up anywhere on that site or that you were permanently deleting it and that you happened to see hers was still there...then, say absolutely no more. See what her reaction is. You are not her master and you have absolutely no business telling her what to do. However, you do have a right to make decisions about her based on what she says and does...and the accuracy thereof. It's likely she told you she had taken her profile down when she did because you had just told her you did the same. It was just the right thing to say at the time. Then she may have forgotten to do it. Again, this is your golden opportunity to see exactly what she's made out of....like it or not.
jerbear Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 I would like to just add to Tony T's post. Depending on the site, some show the "Last Time Online". Give her a few more days. If she signed on withing a few days versus weeks, then maybe talk to her. Hiding the profile versus deleting the profile are two different things. It is also possible that she signed on, hid her profile but forgot to click the Submit/OK/Accept button.
Guest Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 Oh BS! I am so sick and tired of hearing that excuse about how "something went awry when I tried to hide my profile". That's an excuse. Plain and simple. If your profile is visible and you are even half-way decent looking then you will continue to receive winks and new emails that would tell the user that they are still visible. She knows what she is doing. She is playing you. And you need to get the balls to call her out on it. I am a woman and I NEVER let a guy play those kinds of games with me. But be forewarned, even if her profile is hidden, that is no assurance that she is still not contacting other members online. I know this first-hand, because my ex of over a year did this to me and the only way I found out is when I saw his email account on accident when he left his computer on. Be careful! I really have to doubt the sincerity of anyone on those online dating sites, because I think the majority of them like the chase and enjoy the shopping around for a new model. Good luck!
crazzzzzyyy Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 heh... it's too early to ask her any questions, just forget about the website and just focus on her, focus on the relationship, dont start checking her actions ... If your really want to spy on her you could always send her a message pretending you're someone else and see the reaction BUT I wouldn't do that If I were you... it just doesnt sound right
agnf666 Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 heh... it's too early to ask her any questions, just forget about the website and just focus on her, focus on the relationship, dont start checking her actions ... If your really want to spy on her you could always send her a message pretending you're someone else and see the reaction BUT I wouldn't do that If I were you... it just doesnt sound right Sending the pretend message... Oh boy I got myself into crap with that one... well, not really crap. I learned that my bf of 2 months was all out and looking for my replacement. I pretended to be another girl to see what he would say... Basically, he gave away the fact he was looking for a serious relationship and he was single and crap. Then when he asked if he could call me that is when I basically told him he knew my number and that I didn't want to talk to him ever agian... Then he lies and tells me that it wasn't him sending those messages it was his cousin... Which was BS... So, my advice for you is just to let it go for right now. In a week or two if it is still up there then you can say something about it. I would say something about it to her before doing the pretend message thing. Honestly, what sucks about the pretend message thing is that you will notice once you do it to one person you date.... it is like something you want to do for all of them.
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