my girl is leaving me and I am feeling afraid of the pain to come

[Guest]

I have been dating this girl for 3 months. These 3 months have been the mos incredible 3 months with a woman in my life. This is the first time I feel like I can actually settle down with a particular woman. Now here comes the problem. She works for her ex (telemarketing type of job). He is a wealthy man. He had cheated on her and that is why she had left him. That was over a year ago. He pretty much left her alone while he tried a relationship with another woman. He found out that she started dating me and he became obsessed with trying to get her back.

 

He even proposed a 2x increase of her salary (from 50k to 100k) if she where to leave me and move back to his side of he country. At first she didn't consider it but now she is. She claims to be in love with me but says that being a mother of two children it is hard to pass up on this opportunity. I am afraid that I will lose her. I am not sure what to do. Should I leave her before she leaves me? This is such a messed up feeling.

[Guest]

I have been dating this girl for 3 months. These 3 months have been the mos incredible 3 months with a woman in my life. This is the first time I feel like I can actually settle down with a particular woman. Now here comes the problem. She works for her ex (telemarketing type of job). He is a wealthy man. He had cheated on her and that is why she had left him. That was over a year ago. He pretty much left her alone while he tried a relationship with another woman. He found out that she started dating me and he became obsessed with trying to get her back.

 

He even proposed a 2x increase of her salary (from 50k to 100k) if she where to leave me and move back to his side of he country. At first she didn't consider it but now she is. She claims to be in love with me but says that being a mother of two children it is hard to pass up on this opportunity. I am afraid that I will lose her. I am not sure what to do. Should I leave her before she leaves me? This is such a messed up feeling.

 

Take it for what it's worth my friend:

You need to evaluate the situation. If you two have a good relationship, she will NOT go. The more you show that you care, the more likely it is that she will go. Your absolute best option is to leave it alone, and not mention it. Make her aware, albiet subtley, that you aren't scared of her going.

 

No, you should not break up with her first. This will make YOU the bad guy. If it's going to end, let her be the jerk and move away with her ex. If she makes that wrong choice she will be miserable because she will be with a lousy guy who will just cheat on her again.

 

Simply put: Your best course of action is to give her the space to make up her own mind. Don't encourage / discourage anything. Tell her it's her call, and act like it doesn't bother you one bit. If it is meant to be, it will work out.

[u2111]

I have been dating this girl for 3 months. These 3 months have been the mos incredible 3 months with a woman in my life. This is the first time I feel like I can actually settle down with a particular woman. Now here comes the problem. She works for her ex (telemarketing type of job). He is a wealthy man. He had cheated on her and that is why she had left him. That was over a year ago. He pretty much left her alone while he tried a relationship with another woman. He found out that she started dating me and he became obsessed with trying to get her back.

 

He even proposed a 2x increase of her salary (from 50k to 100k) if she where to leave me and move back to his side of he country. At first she didn't consider it but now she is. She claims to be in love with me but says that being a mother of two children it is hard to pass up on this opportunity. I am afraid that I will lose her. I am not sure what to do. Should I leave her before she leaves me? This is such a messed up feeling.

Tell her that you will make it easy on her. Pack her stuff for her and tell her you love her, but you wont even consider that kind of selfishness. trust me her loss. That person that dreams of you will come along if you let them. Dont be afraid