would you consider this an emotional affiar?

[ant-uh-knee]

G/f and I been together almost 4 years, about a year and a half ago she met this guy through one of her friends, not intentionally. just a little background, this "friend" of hers has a cousin that we had a-lot of problems with, his family member had a really big mouth and started some crap with me and my girl, so when i found out she was talking to this guy I was pissed. I told her that I didn't want her talking to him, she would get upset and tell me why. She finally told me, "if you don't want me to be friends with him I wont."

 

In the beggining she raved about how funny he was and how much he made her laugh. She bragged about that they never fight and how much they enjoyed each-others company. She would always tell me that she wanted me to get to know him, so would could all hang out together. I finally backed off, and I felt kind of bad about forcing her to cut her friendship off with this guy, so I told her I wasn't going to force her to stop talking to him. So things went on, I never really felt like I had to worry about this guy. But then she started to make me think something was going on. She would complain sometimes that he was acting weird and that he would ignore her, she seemed to get jealous over that fact that he wasn't paying attention to her.

 

When this guy would get a g/f she would be like "oh yea so-n-so has a new g/f so hes been ignoring me," like it bugged her that he was paying attention to her. So I finally met this guy because my g/f kept insisting that I meet him, and that I would like him. So he seemed pretty cool, I meet his family. But the whole time I was there she was playing around with him, you know kinda of like flirting, poking him pushing him around little things like that. So I was still kind of like whatever. I brought this up to a couple of people and they told me not to worry that if she had something to hide she wouldnt have wanted me to meet him and I wouldnt know about him.

 

She would tell me too that they would joke about getting married, and make stupid comments, I brought it up to her that it sounds like yall are b/f and g/f. She said "So-n-So, no we are just friends hes like a brother to me, I don't think of him that way." Sometimes I feel like she crawls to him for emotional support instead of talking out her problems with me, she even told me she could relate to him because her step-father is emotionally abusive, and his parents are the same. what do you guys think about this one, should I worry, or does it just sound like a close friendship

[Guest]

I am sorry, but this doesn't look very good to me. I have seen similar stories ending really bad, although every one at the time was saying it was ok, they were just friends... etc.

 

The thing you do NOT wanna do though is freaking out and fighting with her. In my opinion, you should talk with her openly about how you don't like her goofing around with this guy like that. Tell her you don't spend as much time together as you used to.... etc.

[unsafe]

Um...you should end things.

 

I was in a similar situation. The guy I was with actually slept with the girl and the girl was his brothers fiance. Gross!

 

But its an emotional affair. And in my opinion I think thats worse. She has you to turn to but instead she goes to him.

 

You have voiced your concerns and uncomfortableness with this situation and she still won't back off. You'd think out of respect for you she'd not flirt with him in front of you.

 

She can't have him so she is with you. But you deserve better. Someone who would care enough to back off. So what if they are friends. Its to close for comfort.

 

Everyone always say "we are just friends". And its bull****! She has feelings for this guy. She already let you know by saying or he is ignoring me. Who cares! She has her own life with you....if shouldnt' bother her to that point. especially because he is ignoring her over a female. She should be happy and talk abotu about him and his girlfriend unless this girl is mean to him. Then maybe she can stick up for him.

 

I took to long to run from my situation. As long as he keeps her hanging on she will. She needs to walk away from this guy she can't get over him unless he isn't around. Or you need to walk away from her.

 

If she loves you, she'll come get you and realize what a jerk she's been.

 

Good luck!

[Guest]

thank you for you opinions, I really don't know about this, it doesn't sound good, but she has been really honest with me throughout our relationship. A little thing happened a couple of months ago, she called me on the phone really upset and crying telling me she had just lost one of her closest friends. You would think ok, she would be upset that they got into an argument, but she was crying like she broke up with me, you would think she would feel like forget him hes an idiot and move on.

 

I asked her what happened and she didn't really explain herself but she told me that, she asked him why he had been ignoring her lately and acting like an ass, and I guess he made a smart remark. She didn't go into detail and she wasn't clear about what she was saying but pretty much he put his hands on her wrists and pinned her against the wall, now wtf would cause him to get that upset, that sounds like some g/f b/f bs. I can't really explain what happened because it didn't sound like she was telling the whole story, I asked her what words were exchanged, and she would just say that they were arguing, IDK sounds kinda fishy. Do you guys think it would wrong for me to ask her to end her friendship with this guy, ANYTHING could be going on, I don't think anything is but I wouldn't want her to become so close that she starts to have feelings for him.

 

I think she should end this friendship with this guy now, she has had alot of guys friend, but they way she use to talk about him bugs me. She use to talk to her x before and after we got together and it didn't bug me at all she didn't really talk about him, and she seemed like she could care less about him. She doesn't really bring him up much, but I know they hang out once in a while, not to often. Do you think it would be ok to purpose the idea of them breaking their friendship off, and if she didn't break it off I break her off? I really care about this girl alot and she feels the same for me, if she cares enough I think it would be right for her to understand where im coming from. thanks for letting me vent