PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 I know this sounds ridiculous, but I'm actually serious. I have a pretty chill marriage except for one thing: my husband keeps keeps sticking his finger in my belly button, and I'm not sure what it does to me, but it just makes me so agitated! And he just keeps doing it, and I get angrier and angrier and then I just snap and yell at him. I think he does it to hint at being intimate, and when I get snappy he takes it to mean I'm not in the mood, and then he starts sulking. It's gotten so bad that when ever he touches me on my abdomen I flinch, and he's like "Why don't you trust me?" Am I the one with the problem? Why can't he just not touch me there? I'm reading this as I type, and it sounded less humorous in my head, but this does sometimes have an effect on our intimacy, so uh, thoughts?
SoCalCatman72 Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 Maybe he has a belly button fetish. Seriously though, you should sit down with him and let him know that you don't understand why it affects you so negatively but that it does, and if he is trying to initiate intimacy, then give him some ideas as to how to go about it that will make you happy. Us men can be really thick headed most of the time.
JadeStar Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 I think what would speak volumes to me is the fact, he knows you don't care for it but yet he does it anyway. So when someone knows how someone else feels about something but they continue to do that behavior, then its more than likely safe to say they are doing it to piss you off. The real question would be why? What does he get from it other than him wating tos ee your pissed off which to me would be pointless.
Author PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 Maybe he has a belly button fetish. Seriously though, you should sit down with him and let him know that you don't understand why it affects you so negatively but that it does, and if he is trying to initiate intimacy, then give him some ideas as to how to go about it that will make you happy. Us men can be really thick headed most of the time. That's for sure. But maybe I should talk to him without just getting angry. He just doesn't seem to take it seriously. I'm concerned because I always try to get away as a reflex, and I've come close to kicking or elbowing him in the process, although this is never my intention.
Author PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 I think what would speak volumes to me is the fact, he knows you don't care for it but yet he does it anyway. So when someone knows how someone else feels about something but they continue to do that behavior, then its more than likely safe to say they are doing it to piss you off. The real question would be why? What does he get from it other than him wating tos ee your pissed off which to me would be pointless. Yeah, I think part of him likes to see the reaction. Maybe it's fascinating, maybe it's funny, I don't know.
whichwayisup Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 Ask him how he would feel if everytime he walked by you, you licked your finger and stuck it in his ear. And ask him how he would feel if he told you to stop and you didn't. Maybe then he'll understand how much you dislike being poked/touched on your bellybutton.
Ladyjane14 Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 Ask him how he would feel if everytime he walked by you, you licked your finger and stuck it in his ear. Actions do speak louder than words... Maybe you should just do it for about a week until HE breaks down and asks. Good one... WWIU. :bunny:
Author PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 Ask him how he would feel if everytime he walked by you, you licked your finger and stuck it in his ear. And ask him how he would feel if he told you to stop and you didn't. Maybe then he'll understand how much you dislike being poked/touched on your bellybutton. That's a good idea. Maybe I'll just do it without warning so he can store the feeling of discomfort in his memory. Thanks for the responses. I love my husband but the belly button poking has just been driving me nuts.
Green Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 U stink cant u let the man touch the belly button with out getting all stressed out. if thats imposible what are you waiting for this is how it starts pretty soon you'll be telling him not to touch you any where and that you have a head ache. just have sex with him more is my advice to you than maybe he wouldnt have to touch that button of urs.
Art_Critic Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 U stink cant u let the man touch the belly button with out getting all stressed out. if thats imposible what are you waiting for this is how it starts pretty soon you'll be telling him not to touch you any where and that you have a head ache. just have sex with him more is my advice to you than maybe he wouldnt have to touch that button of urs.
Author PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 U stink cant u let the man touch the belly button with out getting all stressed out. if thats imposible what are you waiting for this is how it starts pretty soon you'll be telling him not to touch you any where and that you have a head ache. just have sex with him more is my advice to you than maybe he wouldnt have to touch that button of urs. Hey, I have more exciting areas and no one is stopping him from touching those I would love for it not to bother me, I don't know why it does, I guess it's just one of those things. Not even like tickling, just creeps me out for some reason.
Green Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 well how could you be married to him and just now be telling him it bothers you. I bet you didnt even notice it b4 now, or did it just start bothering you. I'm just letting you know this is going to suck for him he obviously likes the belly button and wants to go at it with you and u seem to be turning it down
Author PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 well how could you be married to him and just now be telling him it bothers you. I bet you didnt even notice it b4 now, or did it just start bothering you. I'm just letting you know this is going to suck for him he obviously likes the belly button and wants to go at it with you and u seem to be turning it down He didn't really do it before. I think he started doing it more often when he saw how I reacted. And then I started telling him all the time how I hate it. Perhaps I am overreacting, but I can't seem to change how i feel...It's funny how a stupid little thing like this can cause emotional tension.
Green Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 yeah it sucks doesnt sound like he wants to stop. just physicaly stop him then if he wont listen smack his hand away hard when he sticks it there. I dont know what to say your a silly person to be having this problem
Author PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 I gave like 3 subtle disclaimers for a possible silly problem, so it's not my fault if you didn't see them.
Art_Critic Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 He knows it bugs you.. that is why he does it.. but what he doesn't know is that it bothers you.. There is a difference between bugs and bothers... You need to make it clear that him putting his finger in your bellybutton is crossing a boundary with you.. Make it clear to him... he is only thinking it bugs you and bugging someone can be fun.. Just talk with him....
Author PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 He knows it bugs you.. that is why he does it.. but what he doesn't know is that it bothers you.. There is a difference between bugs and bothers... You need to make it clear that him putting his finger in your bellybutton is crossing a boundary with you.. Make it clear to him... he is only thinking it bugs you and bugging someone can be fun.. Just talk with him.... I think he means well, but like you said, he just wants to bug me. But I guess it's bugging me in an endearing way...maybe I should try to lighten up a bit...
Ripples Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 PiH - fantastic thread! More seriously - do you think it may be a little like the school yard thing where the boy pulls the hair of the girl he likes? Even though it's going to piss her off, he keeps doing it. That whole 'getting attention' thing?
Author PussInHeels Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 PiH - fantastic thread! More seriously - do you think it may be a little like the school yard thing where the boy pulls the hair of the girl he likes? Even though it's going to piss her off, he keeps doing it. That whole 'getting attention' thing? I think it has a lot to do with that. I wish he would just slap my bottom instead, that I wouldn't mind...
Ripples Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 Ok, so if it's that, then maybe the best way to break the habit is to ignore him when he does it, you could just walk away, roll over, pick up a book, turn the TV on...
Guest Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 He didn't really do it before. I think he started doing it more often when he saw how I reacted. And then I started telling him all the time how I hate it. Perhaps I am overreacting, but I can't seem to change how i feel...It's funny how a stupid little thing like this can cause emotional tension. It's causing tension because you have told him it bothers you and he seems not to care and to do it anyway - which tells you he doesn't care about how you feel about it. I had a bf once who thought it was hilarious to stop dead when he was walking in front of me. The first couple of times it might have been funny but then it just got stupid and annoying. After I asked him to stop several times (and he didn't), the next time he did it I stood in front of him, looked him dead in the eye, and said 'I HATE when you do that. I have told you many times I dislike it and you do it anyway. This is making me hate you so stop it'. He quit. Sometimes guys are really, really thick. He may actually think you're just kidding when he does it. Tell him that you seriously dislike it and that he needs to stop immediately.
Grrlish Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 PiH - fantastic thread! More seriously - do you think it may be a little like the school yard thing where the boy pulls the hair of the girl he likes? Even though it's going to piss her off, he keeps doing it. That whole 'getting attention' thing? *laugh* That's what I was thinking, too. I think it has a lot to do with that. I wish he would just slap my bottom instead, that I wouldn't mind... So, tell him that! Or tell give him a few options to choose from.
Kamille Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 I actually have a scar on my right arm that I can't stand for people to touch. I flip out when they do. (Cringe inside, get chills, sometimes actually start feeling dizzy) I had a boyfriend who kind of made it a trust issue. As in, if I really trusted him, I wouldn't have any problems letting him touch my scar. He would try to sneak-grab my arm. ugh, I get chills now. Until I managed to get it through his head that it was a physical thing more then a psychological thing. I hate how it feels to be touched on my scar because it feels weird. It's like not liking seafood or something. I know, rationally, that I shouldn't get dizzy when people touch it, I know rationally that some people like the taste of chopped liver, but my brain actually just doesn't understand it physically.
Guest Posted November 26, 2006 Posted November 26, 2006 My belly button is very sensitive. i am not sure what it is but it send a slight pain down my stomach. My husband will some times to that to me too....and he does not understand that it is painful. It's very sensitive and I HATE it. Luckily he does not to it very often. Good luck!
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