No goodbye

[greeneyedk]

Always reassured me we are soul mates meant to be together never would turn down a chance to discuss an issue or accept and give affection. We had fights lots of them we had a sex/ED issue took its toll on us hurt feelings misunderstandings.. various things tried varing success getting better though & I had no complaints at the end. He was going to counseling and we tried couples counseling a year ago. We also had differences in timing of starting a family me working etc. We were together 23 mos and he planned to propose around the 2 yr mark. He was fired from his job due to attendance. I think he blames me for the loss. all the late night fights and emotional turmoil. The same day he left he still planned to go ahead w/ the propsal plan w/ in the next month I might have burst his bubble saying logically no one is working, financially an engagement ring could wait. I wanted that more than anything though. We got things sorted out and several stress free months of job hunting to come assured by my dad I thought things were looking good that day. We tried to have sex it didn't work mean things were said mostly to me but it came to a I'm not a man (I did not say btw) I don't have a job you're making it worse. I think he had a panic attack saying he couldn't do this anymore what am I going to do over and over I let him be for about 20 minutes. my attempt to stop the fighting and not ruin the evening trying to avoid a mistake we made so many times before. He was pacing. When I came into the kitchen where he was he tried to reach out to me to pull me close and I pulled away (played over and over with much regret now) as my feelings were hurt over something he said before I got out of bed about an ex girlfriend that was hurtful. Seems so small now. He moved out while I was at the grocery store a week to the day of becoming unemployed. no contact 32 days. I did call his dad a week after he left out of concern don't know where he went? friends say they didn't know supposedly he left with no $ or gas and left the debit card house keys no note. there is still quite a bit of his things here given he only had 1/2 hr and limited space in his car. When his dad followed up w/ me 16 days after he had moved out he said he was fine but he did not want to give me his address or phone number and that he planned to send me an email that as of 13 days ago never came I sent him notes & his email account is now closed. Snail mail forwarded. His sister won't tell me anything but promised to give him a msg to call me if she sees him at t-giving. this is unlike the person I have known for 7 years and usually a note after a fight. Is he just really hurting now? I feel like I need closure or an explanation I love him and am sorry. Maybe I have my explanation right under my nose and can't see it? I didn't feel him pulling away during the last few months on the day he left stated was planning to propose then in bed with me now......poof! Did he have a mental breakdown?

[D-Lish]

Maybe he just needs some time and space to figure things out.

 

Did you guys fight over the sex issue? Did he have difficulty maintaining an erection? That can be horribly embarrassing for a guy.

 

It's quite possible that he's a little overwhelmed and depressed as a result. He sounds depressed from what you describe. That can also have an impact on sexual performance...as can stress in a relationship.

 

I suspect he just needs time and will contact you when he's ready

Hang in there.